recovery???

[semaj22]

i have been trying a type of butterfly challenge thing of my own its its going ok, i guess... but i am the only one in my family who cuts and my family says i want attention and that im crazy for inflicting pain on my self. but in reality it feels good! and i want to stop but its hard to when life inside and out of your head is tough for you.i havnt cut in about 2 or 3 days i think. but ive been dealing with my weight and the harsh words and looks i get and my mom telling me its ok "big is beautiful" which it can be, :/ see if i dont feel right i cant look right.so i guess i just keep cutting till i make that last slash with my shiny piece of glass and watch the blood flash my eyes.

[CyanideGoodnight]

Take it slow. No one says you have to stop cold turkey first thing, maybe try moving from cutting to something less harmful first. That may help you make more progress. But if you feel close to a relapse, try distracting yourself in other ways then butterflys, writing, reading, music, exercise, and other small relaxing things you like can go FAR. You can also obviously come here and ask for help. Oh, and congradulations on going three days cut free, that's a really huge deal.

Recovery is a long and hard road. road. You're most likely going to relapse a lot before you get anywhere significant. The important thing is you keep trying. Don't push yourself though. I found when I pushed myself not to cut myself I just did it more and wanted to more. Sometimes you need those breaks to re-evaluate where you're at, and the end goal. Those breaks are perfectly fine and no one is going to judge you for them.

As for weight... well, I'm going to be a hypocrite and tell you what I can't tell myself. Weight doesn't matter, and neither does size. Give yourself as much space (without withdrawing, of course...) away from the people who judge you like that. They aren't important.