Can't take it anymore!!

[XxNINJAxX]

Hey guys,

I am sick and tired of this whole thing how it will get better and I don't know if it's just me but there is no sign of it getting better but I last about two months and at the end of the day it's only a number. I see no point in living anymore in fact scratch that I have never seen a point in living. I have no one to talk to in times like this so I'm telling all of you that I'm doing this. I'm sorry.

[SadisticAngels]

not sure how to reply to this but i dont think you should give up because it can get better no matter how hard it may seem im here to talk anytime if you want :) im a good listener

[Amaryllis]

Not hurting yourself after doing it for so long is ridiculously hard. It really shouldn't be so damn difficult, but it is. Still, when you actually do manage to not cut for a long time, it's like getting a hair cut. Not sure if guys feel this but when you have long hair and it gets trimmed, man, your head feels so much lighter.

Right now it feels like you're carrying 2 years worth of baggage but you learn, we learn to drop parts of it bit by bit. And it's hard to let go of what you think you need but soon enough when your spine can stand again, you'll be wtfing over why you carried all that junk in the first place.

As for there being no point in living, well, I won't promise you the usual "It gets better" because I think that's bullshiz. But I will say that if you search for it, you will find something or someone to live for and there will be moments, days, months even, when you will be ridiculously glad you didn't decide to die.

I used to feel completely alone, like you. Eventually I found the greatest girl in the world though and we're best friends. She's funny and she makes me forget the pain. I didn't think someone like her would come by and you probably think you won't get someone like that. But you will. You can't find that person if you're dead, though. And even though life -sucks- sometimes, I am incredibly glad I stayed for her.

You live once and then you die. You get to enjoy emptiness then but while you're here now, you're -here-. While you're here you can get the chance to see auroras, do what you love, meet weirdos, assholes and grow. There may seem like there's nothing left for you now but there is. It's damn hard to find and it slips easily away but when it's there, it's -there-.

You've suffered so much, too much to let all that pain go to waste. You've come so far, why not go the whole way?

Love,
Amaryllis