fakesmilemeabh
August 5th, 2012, 02:01 PM
Im not gunna lie, i think its better if im honest.
when i was 9 years old, i was molested. it was a three year superior family friend and i said noting, for years , i said nothing. i tried to block out the memory, that night i convinced myself it was nothing, because i knew nothing about boys or sex of abuse. then last october it came into my mind as we cover sexual abuse in our PD&G(personal growth and development) class. I told my best friend. the person i trusted most in the world, she listed off worse things that could've happend, and thn abondoned me. left with no body to turn to i found comfort in a broken mirror. i cut my wrists for weeks. i would stop for a few days each time because i told my self that i was just doing it for attention, that i wasn't molested i just wanted a cool story to tel, that the cutting was just so mabey some one would see. but these 2 sides in my mind battled on and off ,on and off . i stopped , realised, that i am worth soo much more than scars... SCARS. i see them every day regretting the horrible choices i had made. when i saw them all i thought of was that night, losing my best friend and moe importantly , losing all hope. i had no close friends, all i feel is numb and lonely. i am not an extremly religious person but God is the reason it never went further hat cutting. i pray every night that the pain will go away, ask him why i makes me and people all over the panet suffer. it is life in which we grow, hurt, love and lose. it is in life that many lose their way, struggle, move on and ...suffer. this is just my story, i started on this forum for advise on coping with recovers so if you want please comment!
when i was 9 years old, i was molested. it was a three year superior family friend and i said noting, for years , i said nothing. i tried to block out the memory, that night i convinced myself it was nothing, because i knew nothing about boys or sex of abuse. then last october it came into my mind as we cover sexual abuse in our PD&G(personal growth and development) class. I told my best friend. the person i trusted most in the world, she listed off worse things that could've happend, and thn abondoned me. left with no body to turn to i found comfort in a broken mirror. i cut my wrists for weeks. i would stop for a few days each time because i told my self that i was just doing it for attention, that i wasn't molested i just wanted a cool story to tel, that the cutting was just so mabey some one would see. but these 2 sides in my mind battled on and off ,on and off . i stopped , realised, that i am worth soo much more than scars... SCARS. i see them every day regretting the horrible choices i had made. when i saw them all i thought of was that night, losing my best friend and moe importantly , losing all hope. i had no close friends, all i feel is numb and lonely. i am not an extremly religious person but God is the reason it never went further hat cutting. i pray every night that the pain will go away, ask him why i makes me and people all over the panet suffer. it is life in which we grow, hurt, love and lose. it is in life that many lose their way, struggle, move on and ...suffer. this is just my story, i started on this forum for advise on coping with recovers so if you want please comment!