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View Full Version : US missile defense staff told to stop watching porn


Commander Thor
August 3rd, 2012, 10:37 PM
John James Jr., director of the U.S. Missile Defense Agency (MDA (http://www.mda.mil/)), recently sent out a one-page memo warning employees and contractors to stop using agency computers to visit pornographic Web sites. That's right; apparently they were watching the wrong type of bombshells.

Missile defense workers were reportedly accessing sites and sending messages with pornographic content despite the inherent risk of malware. Here's an excerpt of the July 27 memo, obtained by Bloomberg (http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-08-01/missile-defense-staff-warned-to-stop-surfing-porn-sites.html):
Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images. These actions are not only unprofessional, they reflect time taken away from designated duties, are in clear violation of federal and DoD and regulations, consume network resources and can compromise the security of the network though the introduction of malware or malicious code.


The message was just a warning; the MDA says that the porn sites did not cause any harm to its computer network. The agency emphasized, however, that there will be repercussions for anyone caught violating the policy.

"MDA has more than 8,000 employees, and less than a half-dozen were found to have accessed restricted sites or downloaded inappropriate materials," an MDA spokesperson said in a statement. "MDA has a highly-advanced monitoring system to detect intrusions, access to inappropriate viruses and malware downloads, and it worked as designed, and there was never any compromise of the MDA computer network. Employees should not access inappropriate Internet sites for pornography, gambling, video games and unauthorized music and video sites, to name a few. If they do, there are consequences, including possible loss of security clearances and termination."

The MDA is the section of the Department of Defense (DoD (http://www.defense.gov/)) responsible for developing a layered defense against ballistic missiles. Boners don't count.
Source (http://www.zdnet.com/us-missile-defense-staff-told-to-stop-watching-porn-7000002063/).


This is both hilarious and sad at the same time...

Iron Man
August 3rd, 2012, 10:40 PM
Hmm, just before they are done with the porn, do they say "We have a missile launch!"?

Commander Thor
August 3rd, 2012, 10:42 PM
Hmm, just before they are done with the porn, do they say "We have a missile launch!"?

"Firing countermeasures!"

Christheman
August 3rd, 2012, 11:35 PM
Hahaha! this is tooo funny. what kind of missiles are they launching lol

War-Is-Real
August 4th, 2012, 12:44 AM
...
Kinda illegal and pointless, don't cha think. I mean give them a job that they are doing something and maybe the wouldn't be firing missles. :T

Foamy
August 4th, 2012, 05:42 PM
That's....nice. It obviously needs to be made public because it'll threaten our security. Real important.

TheMatrix
August 5th, 2012, 12:37 AM
So much for our patriotic neighbours who are doing everything to save the country! :P

Sugaree
August 5th, 2012, 02:44 AM
...
Kinda illegal and pointless, don't cha think. I mean give them a job that they are doing something and maybe the wouldn't be firing missles. :T

Oh no, they'll be firing missiles...into Kleenex.

TheMatrix
August 5th, 2012, 02:56 AM
Oh no, they'll be firing missiles...into Kleenex.

But you gotta admit, the holes that say "Insert Missile Launch Key here" are far more convenient ;)

Mortal Coil
August 5th, 2012, 06:47 AM
This is kind of sad though... these guys jack off at work so much, that it makes the news...

HunterSteele
August 7th, 2012, 12:19 PM
This isn't really that funny. Employers are always telling their staff to stop looking at porn. This isn't any different.

Sugaree
August 7th, 2012, 01:49 PM
But you gotta admit, the holes that say "Insert Missile Launch Key here" are far more convenient ;)

Yeah, which is why they probably require their wives to dress up as missile silos during sex.

super storm
August 7th, 2012, 02:52 PM
this is so funy, and disturbing at the same time

level_up
August 14th, 2012, 07:19 AM
way to represent, guys.

WickedWeekend
August 15th, 2012, 05:46 AM
All jokes aside, I think it's pretty hilarious that they jack off so much they make the news.

IAMWILL
August 15th, 2012, 08:35 PM
Worker: "Holy shit! Iran just launched a nuclear intercontinental ballistic missle!"
Procrasturbator: "JUST A FEW MINUTES!!!"

Gordo
August 15th, 2012, 09:21 PM
It's gotta be a boring job. It's not like they launch very often. So they probably surf the web to keep from falling asleep

Sleepy Raisin
August 17th, 2012, 01:10 AM
Worker: "Holy shit! Iran just launched a nuclear intercontinental ballistic missle!"
Procrasturbator: "JUST A FEW MINUTES!!!"

Wow what a way to make it........ come... alive...

West Coast Sheriff
August 17th, 2012, 01:17 AM
Lol
That made my day

jaycee.broham
August 17th, 2012, 02:41 AM
I bet they wanted a handjob while on the job, but settled with porn instead:P

azorne
August 20th, 2012, 05:26 AM
I can't believe people jack off at work -.-

Dylan1
August 24th, 2012, 08:57 PM
Lol. This isn't that ridiculous.

I read a long time ago that in certain states law enforcement is required to watch all pornography before it's released to "ensure that performers are wearing condoms". Supposed to be because of a new law. :lol:

Infidelitas
August 26th, 2012, 03:45 AM
God Bless America.

HUSTLEMAN
September 16th, 2012, 07:44 PM
Wow, they must've been really bored to do that during work. Couldn't it wait after work.

TheBigUnit
September 16th, 2012, 08:17 PM
It reminds me of something from the simpsons haha

Zenos
September 16th, 2012, 08:47 PM
It's Great to know the defence of my nation is in the hands of idiots!