Can I get a break!?

[FreeFall]

If anyone has seen it my bf and I have been working on his anger. That's great, we're 100% on that and 100% improving. also, if anyone's seen it, I made a post on what to do about my bf's bitch older sis who hates me. Well he decided if his family's not going to respect me, we'll be taking a break from them. We did, until now. I had to pick him up from his work and take him home, I was sitting on the floor playing with his dogs waiting for him when in walks bitch older sister. I didn't engage, politely said hello and went back to playing with the dogs when she starts speaking and the passive aggressive attacks fly. In a nutshell:
- It sucks when you get cozy thinking you'll spend the rest of your life with your bf then he up and leaves. She was in a relationship for 2 years over 5 years ago before I even knew her brother. (My bf said this is why she hates me, any time her siblings relationship lasts over a year she gets evil)
- I shouldn't be forcing her brother to listen to my demands, people get angry sometimes. (Our working on his anger)
- I'm silly if I think I'll become a vet tech from a community college (It's accredited, I checked, it's a very good program)
- I'm wasting my time looking for part time jobs
- My cousin's weird for having so many things registered for her babyshower.

I didn't engage. I really should have looking back but I was and am still pissed. I texted my bf I'll be waiting in the car and left the house. This was info I told him, frankly I don't want her knowing what I say to him and hate that he's told her. So I told him what bitch sister said when he gets in the car. I said exactly this in a calm and level headed manner
"Hun. I'm confused. You say you can't stand your family, you don't like them. But then I find out your sister knows things that I have told only you. Why're you being so personal about business that isn't your's and with someone you supposedly can't stand? Not only that but she hates my guts, so why talk about me to her? You're giving her the bullets for her gun by doing that. I'd like it if you'd stop please." Reasonable right?
Bf blew up. He said when I gave him that info, he has right to say what he wants. He doesn't care if she's evil, she's still faaaamily, and if I tried to make her like me then maybe she would. I'm confused, we'd always said how just because a person shares some DNA with you doesn't give them super special places and privileges in your life.

I kicked him out of the car, and when he asked why I simply said "Why should I tell you? You'd only run and tell the sister who hates me and you can't stand." Now I'm home and exhuasted. He's been texting me but I haven't read a single one.

I don't want to break up with him unless I must, but how can I remind him that his loyalty is to me so long as I am his significant other? That we're supposed to have each other's back and respect each other?

[Noirtier]

Here's how I see it. Your boyfriend blew up. He shouldn't have, but as you've said you guys have been working on his anger issues, and sometimes people blow up. It is very clear to me that he feels badly about getting angry with you, since he has been texting you nonstop. You did nothing wrong in what you requested of him. But you have to remember, like he said, family is family. Sometimes things come out. I would forgive him, and continue on with the relationship. However, I would be honest with him and tell him that you are his girlfriend. Some things you tell him should remain confidential, because you trust him and he should trust you. Be honest in telling him that you are his girlfriend and he is supposed to respect you and have your back. I believe he loves you, I really do. But you need to communicate this with him calmly. Don't ignore him as he's trying to fix his screwup in getting mad at you. Talk to him, accept his apology, and take this time to bring up those issues, the fact that as his girlfriend you should be respected, some things you say should be in confidentiality, and he should have your back. Honesty is the best policy.

[FreeFall]

The ignoring is for both of our benefits or else he'd never calm down. Family is family is what pisses me off. We've both agreed that if our family hurts one of us, they hurt us both and there's nothing special about shared DNA. People are people and that's all it is. Then he turns around and does this. I feel uneasy about his flipping flopping with what we've established together. I feel on the back burner but I've cooled down, I hope he has too.

I'll do what I can to get through to him. I'll be calm, I'll be understanding and thorough. That's all I can be.


Update: Major major anger. We met up to talk, I was informed his bitch sister had threatened to punch his gf at the time in the face. He stood by his sister, looking back he says he feels guilty over it and if she did that to me he'd go bat crazy over it. So I'm very angry and hurt, that his sister has this aggressive unprovoked history with his girlfriends threatening with attacks, and he stands by her and tossed me aside. I let him know, he cried saying he's sorry he didn't mean to hurt me it's just easy to forget about it when his sister's always going to be there. He feels bad that she feels so alone while he can easily date and he doesn't want to be that guy that left her. I told him the best I could that his sister's relying into him too much emotionally and that he cannot and will never be her boyfriend or boyfriend replacement, frankly that's gross. So we goggled emotional incest and I had him read an article. He had his eye opener and is working on himself, I told him he's one more chance to deal with her and supporting me or else I'll deal with her my way. I'm not going to be a doormat after she's hit the bitch switch on, I have no problem with his family not liking me if that's what it comes to. I am dating him and looking to be with him, not her and not them.