Turning straight

[iLove Justin Bieber]

I'm fourteen years old and bisexual. I like boys emotionally and sexually, however I only like girls emotionally, and was wondering if there is any way for me to start getting turned on by them? I know I will always be attracted to guys, but I would love to be with a girl too, which is also the only option I have as I'm not coming out ever. I do not feel like I have to hold a lot in and am not under pressure from anyone, but it is against my religion to have a gay relationship, and as I find everything else in my religion to be correct and sensible, I'm not just dumping it or disobeying god. Either way, I am still going to marry a women and have kids, as this is what I want to do, but it would be a lot easier if I did like them sexually too. I mean how am I supposed to have sex with someone who I love emotionally but aren't turned on by? I would appreciate any replies, however don't want any replies about accepting myself, as in a way I have, but as god doesn't like homosexual behaviour, I don't have an option. If there were other problems which greatly affected me with my religion, I would've already dumped it, but I know a lot about it and know it's a true religion. Thanks. The main question again was, 'how can I 'TRY' to get myself sexually attracted to girls?'

[StoppingTime]

I really want to become straight.


It's been scientifically proven that you cannot choose your sexuality. You can act straight, but if you aren't, you can't "become it."


I'm bisexual even though I say I'm gay (as I like bots more at the moment) but I am never coming out because of the fact that it's against my religion

I won't argue religion here, but if I'm correct, just "being" LGBT is a sin, regardless if you're out or not, right?


and my family would disown me probably (not that they're bad)

They don't seem too great if they'd disown their son for being who he is.


and I'd get picked on at school and I personally aren't all that for the LGBT community (and not to offend anyone but even though I'm bisexual, I think girls being lesbian is disgusting but it's no different however being transgender is wrong altogether).

I don't see how people won't take offense to that. Why are you allowed to say what is and is not "disgusting" in the way of love and attraction?
As for being picked on; don't tell everyone. Take it slow. Tell a trusted friend first, and be careful who that friend is, if you're really worried.


I have seen these questions asked but no clear answers as people say accept yourself. I honestly don't want any answers like that at all.

Don't tell people how to help you in this case, it's like you aren't asking for help at all if you do.


Most people who ask these questions are usually stressed and worried about this too much but I'm not to fussed and know what I'm doing.

What do you mean by that?


Plus being straight seems awesome I'm just not sexually attracted to girls sexually only emotionally. I need to get turned on by them. I know I will always feel gay things but I want to feel straight ones too. I know it's not going to be easy, but does anyone have any ideas.


You can't "turn" straight. You can't turn anything. You are who you are. Whether you want to act like you're straight, that'd for you to decide. But do you really want to do that?


Also, I'm a Muslim and religious and unless I want to go to hell (don't mean to scare anyone) I can't be gay in public or have a gay relationship anyway.

I'm not going to argue religion, so I can't help you there.


I am not the person to usually open threads ever but I need to this time. Don't say anything along the lines of accept yourself or I'll feel I'd need to hold a gun to your head and explain the questin again lol. Thanks for any help and previous experiences would be useful. If you think you can help me more by chatting to me, my windows live messenger email address is in my contact info. Thanks again.

Again, why ask for help if you're going to be picky about how people should and should not respond?
--
All I can tell you now is that you shouldn't act like someone you're not.

[paterico]

No offence, but you contradicted yourself a billion times in that post. If you can't accept who you are, then that's something you should work on. Sexuality is fluid, it can change, but not by choice. Honestly, I think you know the answer to this question already. There's nothing wrong with homosexuality and bisexuality. No one can help you until you accept that. And advice is advice, take it or leave it. I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, but I'm getting annoyed of always having to sugar-coat everything.

[havingfun]

.............

[StoppingTime]

I have seen a person's sexual orientation change, so yes it is possible. Those that say otherwise are in denial. As for the religious part of it-being gay in itself is not sinful, just acting upon it is (But so is masturbation, adultery, incest and so on)

trolololol. (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/113/6/1827.full) :P


That aside, sure, maybe the environment you were brought up in influenced your sexuality. But now, there really isn't a way that it can be "changed." Again, you can act like someone else, but do you want to do that your whole life?

[War-Is-Real]

YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE YOUR SEXUALITY.
Besides, a sin is a sin even if only you know.

[iLove Justin Bieber]

I have seen a person's sexual orientation change, so yes it is possible. Those that say otherwise are in denial. As for the religious part of it-being gay in itself is not sinful, just acting upon it is (But so is masturbation, adultery, incest and so on)


Let's see how many red reps I get for this one....

This is the most useful reply so far, though still not answering my original question. The other two guys were sort of implying I have a negative attitude, although I don't. Apart from masturbating and watching porn, which I have been trying to stop and have done so for the last three days, I do not act upon my feeling for guys, and therefore aren't doing any sinful things currently relating to homosexuality.

[StoppingTime]

I totally agree with you and you've said exactly what I think.

He said exactly what you want to think is true.


The last two replies weren't too helpful and I am not being in any negative attitude as stated by those to people.

Not once did I say "negative attitude."


I know myself a lot and all I wanted was ideas on how to get attracted to girls. I know it's possible and as I believe in god, I know he can help me if I ask him. I just wanted a few ideas from you guys. I want to get to heaven, and I know I won't if I do gay acts on this life. I don't want anyone saying god loves you for who you are, because I know that, but he made boys and girls so they could be together. If everyone was gay, the worlds population would decrease and we'd become extinct.

If this is based on religion, and you'll only believe what it says, why do you post asking for help on something which is scientifically impossible?


I'm
Not homophobic but there are many sides to issues like this. God doesn't want meh with men and who are we to debate? You'd probably understand more if you knew more about religions. By the way I am not taking about the guy who's post I quoted.

Then why post? You know what "you have to do." If you wanted advice on "getting girls" why didn't you just post that?

[LatinaVivit]

You may want to consider this: if you accept yourself and come out as whatever you are, you won't have to deal with acting like a straight person. All these straight guys around my school try to act masculine; it could be who they are, it may be what they want everyone to see. They can't afford being seen as slightly different, even if that means denying what they like to do, be it watching certain shows, talking a certain way, dressing how they want, etc.

All I'm saying is that you should weigh the options; moreover, if your concerned your parents will pull the Bible-Jesus card, watch this video and show it to them - if you come out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI3tpS6Ff9g

Good luck!:)

[iLove Justin Bieber]

Thanks, but I act straight outside anyway, I just tend to like guys more than girls.

[Stryker125]

Looks like you've already got your mind made up. There's no point in even keeping this thread open.

[iLove Justin Bieber]

Thank you Justin, you really helped 'satcasm'…

[Stryker125]

Anytime, Zain. :P

[Chromatic]

I really want to become straight.

That's not how it works

Also, I'm a Muslim and religious and unless I want to go to hell (don't mean to scare anyone) I can't be gay in public or have a gay relationship anyway.

Just throwing this out there, but you believe the same god that created you dislikes you because he made you gay? He could have made you straight. Why would God send someone to Hell forever for a limited amount of sins?

Don't say anything along the lines of accept yourself or I'll feel I'd need to hold a gun to your head and explain the questin again lol.

So you want us to tell you to reject yourself? You are bicurious. You will always be bicurious regardless of what any person, god, law, or forum says or does. You can choose to accept it and be comfortable or lie for the rest of your life and live in worry. Do you really want to associate with people who condemn you for something you can't help?

Think about this every day. Think about it in your sleep. Question everything anyone ever tells you. 14 is a good age to start thinking about religion and sexuality and stuff. This is YOUR life, and at the end of it, would you rather say you were comfortable with yourself the whole time or the people in your life constantly gave you shit? It is very much your choice, and I wish you good luck with whatever you go with.

[havingfun]

.............

[TheHumanSpirit]

If being who you are is against your religion, then maybe you should look into other religions. Or maybe you don't even need to. Maybe you should look at the historical background of your religion and its main characters more closely. I doubt a supreme being would seek to punish anyone for being themselves. Just a guess there.

[reddie]

I have seen a person's sexual orientation change, so yes it is possible. Those that say otherwise are in denial. As for the religious part of it-being gay in itself is not sinful, just acting upon it is (But so is masturbation, adultery, incest and so on)


Let's see how many red reps I get for this one....


I think it all depends on the interpretation of one's particular religion, or even a sub-set thereof.

For example, some Christian denominations allow gay priests. Other denominations may not even allow gay people in to their buildings.


To the original poster, be who you are. If your religion seems to have some sort of "problem" with gay people...that's not your problem. You are you. Unless what you're doing isn't legal, continue doing what you're doing. Be you. Don't let anyone else tell you to change your ways.

[Noxail]

Sweetheart, you can't just magically turn straight. It doesn't work that way. You are who you are, plain and simple. I know how it is to have your relgion turn against you. I've watched people who taught my sunday-school class march around bashing me, and people like me. That hurt. A lot. But I decided to accept who I am, no matter what everyone else has to say about it. And if your parents have a problem with you feeling this way, they're just like the rest of the world. We where not made to fit into muffen tins. We are different for a reason. I hope you find your way, and come to terms with your sexuality. I'm here for you if you need me bro ~Holli

[iLove Justin Bieber]

It's been scientifically proven that you cannot choose your sexuality. You can act straight, but if you aren't, you can't "become it."

Can you show me where you got this information from so you can proove it's correct?

I won't argue religion here, but if I'm correct, just "being" LGBT is a sin, regardless if you're out or not, right?

No, not at all. Feeling that way, you can't change, but acting upon it is the sin. Controlling it is what god wants you to do, not what I think is the way to go about it, but I'm not going to argue with god.

They don't seem too great if they'd disown their son for being who he is.

Everyone has their own opinions on it, and I don't want to change theirs. They only want the best for me, and I guess that's how it works.

I don't see how people won't take offense to that. Why are you allowed to say what is and is not "disgusting" in the way of love and attraction?
As for being picked on; don't tell everyone. Take it slow. Tell a trusted friend first, and be careful who that friend is, if you're really worried.

Like I said, everyone has their own opinion. I don't particularly like lesbians, not to offend anyone, and I honestly can say straight out that being transcgender is wrong, if god made you a boy/girl, then you should stay that way. And I don't feel comfortable telling anyone at all, as there is nobody I can trust in my life bang on 100% (by the way, I don't have trust issues, but that's the way it is)

Don't tell people how to help you in this case, it's like you aren't asking for help at all if you do.

All I said is not to just tell me to accept myself, as I don't find that kind of feedback, moreover it doesn't answer the original question.


You can't "turn" straight. You can't turn anything. You are who you are. Whether you want to act like you're straight, that'd for you to decide. But do you really want to do that?

I do actually act pretty straight, as in I dress like a normal guy, don;t talk funny etc. however I didn't make it clear, I know I will always have feelings for guys, but would like to try and have sexual feelings for girls instead of just emotional ones.

I'm not going to argue religion, so I can't help you there.

Why not?

Again, why ask for help if you're going to be picky about how people should and should not respond?

I'm not being picky, I wanted people to answer the original question, not go onto something else irrelevant to me.
--
All I can tell you now is that you shouldn't act like someone you're not.
Thanks.

[iLove Justin Bieber]

I wll admit that by never being in your situation, I probably can't be of too much help. However, Imagine dating girls being taboo. For most people, the things they desire most are the things they cannot have. Think about the things about them that you are curious about, what they look like, and what you can't get from the girl who is next to you.

Granted this all might have sounded silly, but I thought about the things that made me desire girls more, especially specific girls I know. And that is what made them appeal to me. I hope it all works out for you!

Sexual feelings that make you like one gender more than the other are kind of hard to explain, but I just love all the physical characteristics of guys however sometimes they can be kind of bad emotionally at times, but I know not al of them are like that as I've met some really nice guys, and actually only hand around with the decent lot. I find girls a bit disgusting, with their big breasts and that kind of thing, and I think this turns me off.

[StoppingTime]

Can you show me where you got this information from so you can proove it's correct?

Here is just one (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/113/6/1827.full) of many, many, sources.

No, not at all. Feeling that way, you can't change, but acting upon it is the sin. Controlling it is what god wants you to do, not what I think is the way to go about it, but I'm not going to argue with god.

So, you'll just keep your real feelings bottled up forever?

Everyone has their own opinions on it, and I don't want to change theirs. They only want the best for me, and I guess that's how it works.

Yes, everyone can have their own opinion, people should not, however, all be entitled to their own opinions. Irrational opinions are just that, irrational.

Like I said, everyone has their own opinion. I don't particularly like lesbians, not to offend anyone, and I honestly can say straight out that being transcgender is wrong, if god made you a boy/girl, then you should stay that way. And I don't feel comfortable telling anyone at all, as there is nobody I can trust in my life bang on 100% (by the way, I don't have trust issues, but that's the way it is)

"I don't particularly like, X Y and Z, but, no offense!!11!!!11oneone!1 How is that not offensive?
And as for transexual people being "wrong" is your opinion. You don't have the right to tell others who they are and are not, and who they may and may not love.

All I said is not to just tell me to accept myself, as I don't find that kind of feedback, moreover it doesn't answer the original question.

Your original question is impossible to achieve, so I'm telling you the next best thing. If you don't like what people are saying, then don't ask.

I do actually act pretty straight, as in I dress like a normal guy, don;t talk funny etc. however I didn't make it clear, I know I will always have feelings for guys, but would like to try and have sexual feelings for girls instead of just emotional ones.

First off, congrats on stereotypes! Not all LGBT people "dress like not-normal guys" or "talk funny."
Again, you can't change who you have those feelings for. You can act differently, but you can't ever change it.

Why not?

Because arguments involving religions is stupid. You'll never changes your beliefs, regardless of what someone says. Also, why argue over something that, according to most people, can't even be proven or disproven? It's just a never ending argument that isn't necessary.

I'm not being picky, I wanted people to answer the original question, not go onto something else irrelevant to me.

Original question: How can I turn straight?
Me, and everyone else here: That isn't possible.
You: Tell me the answer to the question I asked.
:rolleyes:



You clearly don't want to hear what I have to say, so don't expect a reply.

[iLove Justin Bieber]

Don't expect a reply from you? …Gladly!

[WonderTastic]

I know wqhere you are coming from dude. I spent nights crying and hating myself for not being str8 and liking guys more than girls. I hated every ounce of my being. I couldnt kill myself cause of religion yet i couldnt live happly cause religion and one day i thought would god want me to live like this. Would he want me to be unhappy till the day i died living a liee and hating myself and everything around me. Everytime i saw a man i would have to go home and punch myself for even thinking about touching him. No god wouldnt want me to be misreable for the rest of my days. He wants me to be happy. People sin everyday. Some people are natural liars or thiefs and others but what you forget is god looks at the heart and he understands your struggles. you shouldnt obey god cause you go to hell if you dont. Obey and love him for him being him. My understanding of god id that he wouldnt want you hating and changing who your are. He just wants the best for you and for you to be happy. I say live your life with god in mind. I dont think there is anything wrong with getting marride to a guy and having kids and living like a str8 coouple.. Just rember god is a loving and understanding god. He sending you to hell for being gay is like him sending me to hell for being black.

[WonderTastic]

im sorry and i get you. i cant help myself but i will help you.

[cerney]

sorry dude, im not sure thats possible? maybe if you really, really try, but...if its that important, than maybe you should

[sparta]

This topic is really almost insulting. As the first reply stated, I'm not about to argue religion. I'm Catholic,and even for us Catholics, homosexuality is a sin. There are a few thigs that I'm confused about, however:

1. Would you let your mother tell you how to live your life? Your father? A teacher? Why does God, or in your case Allah, pbuh, have that power? Frankly, I find it disturbing that this all-powerful being (which both of our religions agree created the world, and everything in it) has made people who are homosexual, and then told them that they are sinners if they act on those impulses.

2. People can be wrong. It's important to remember that Allah, pbuh, and God did not write the Qu'ran and Bible respectively, but rather people did. My religion believes that the Bible was written by the Son of God, your religion believes the Qu'ran was written by Mohammad the prophet. Both religions agree that their respective "saviors" (for lack of a better word) committed sins. Do we assume that they were sent to Hell?
----Got a bit sidetracked there, original point was that people are not always correct. What we believe was relayed to us from human beings. Human Beings who were born into sin.

3. I am truly sorry that you feel this way about your sexual orientation. You can say that you're okay with the way you are, but it's quite clear that you aren't, as you're trying to find a way to change it. It's almost insulting to yourself to have to worry like this, and (without knowing your age) I'm guessing that you're still in the early ages of puberty. The way you feel COULD change within the next few years, but it also might not, and it's unfortunate that you
don't accept the way you are fully.
----sorry, I told you to accept yourself. I know you didn't want to hear that.




4. If you want a really good way to look at it, here's one: There are 21 major religions in existence today. That means that approximately 95% of us are wrong about our religion. I think it's safe to say that whichever All-Powerful, Forgiving being is the Almighty, will forgive us for the "sins" that we commit in this lifetime. Technically, You're sinning just by worshipping Allah, atleast, in my religion.

I know this probably didn't, but I hope it helps.

[sparta]

This topic is really almost insulting. As the first reply stated, I'm not about to argue religion. I'm Catholic,and even for us Catholics, homosexuality is a sin. There are a few thigs that I'm confused about, however:

1. Would you let your mother tell you how to live your life? Your father? A teacher? Why does God, or in your case Allah, pbuh, have that power? Frankly, I find it disturbing that this all-powerful being (which both of our religions agree created the world, and everything in it) has made people who are homosexual, and then told them that they are sinners if they act on those impulses.

2. People can be wrong. It's important to remember that Allah, pbuh, and God did not write the Qu'ran and Bible respectively, but rather people did. My religion believes that the Bible was written by the Son of God, your religion believes the Qu'ran was written by Mohammad the Prophet, pbuh. Both religions agree that their respective "saviors" (for lack of a better word) committed sins. Do we assume that they were sent to Hell?
----Got a bit sidetracked there, original point was that people are not always correct. What we believe was relayed to us from human beings. Human Beings who were born into sin.

3. I am truly sorry that you feel this way about your sexual orientation. You can say that you're okay with the way you are, but it's quite clear that you aren't, as you're trying to find a way to change it. It's almost insulting to yourself to have to worry like this, and (without knowing your age) I'm guessing that you're still in the early ages of puberty. The way you feel COULD change within the next few years, but it also might not, and it's unfortunate that you
don't accept the way you are fully.
----sorry, I told you to accept yourself. I know you didn't want to hear that.




4. If you want a really good way to look at it, here's one: There are 21 major religions in existence today. That means that approximately 95% of us are wrong about our religion. I think it's safe to say that whichever All-Powerful, Forgiving being is the Almighty, will forgive us for the "sins" that we commit in this lifetime. Technically, You're sinning just by worshipping Allah, atleast, in my religion.

I know this probably didn't, but I hope it helps.

edit: Out of respect for the Islamic religion, I have added in "pbuh" after each mentioning of the name "Allah", pbuh. For those who do not know, this stands for "peace be upon him" and is said after mentioning Allah's, pbuh, or Mohammad the Prophet's, pbuh, names.