Has anyone noticed this?

[Wayne92]

over the past few years, I will get a weird feeling when I just look at certain people. At first, I wouldn't think anything of it but over time I began to pay attention to it and notice things about them that is extremely familiar. After talking to some of those I get this "connection" with, I realized that they are like me, someone who has experienced some sort of traumatic experience or some kind of self-destructive behavior( self harm, eating disorders, depression etc.). I've been trying to figure out how I was able to know that they were like me just by looking at them. Is it the fact that, I know what to look for or is it a 6th sense? Has anyone else have ever noticed this as well and what have you do when you notice it?

[Christheman]

yes you are alike them therefore you get along with them. I'm sorry if i didnt answer your question correctly.

[Wayne92]

No, it's my fault for not elaborating on what I was talking about specifically. What I was trying to ask is, have you ever made that connection with someone you don't even know just by looking at them, as if you read their mind?

[candabear17]

I've had similar situations but not often. It happened with a girl at my school last year and once I talked to her I found out she was raped too (possibly by the same guy).

[Wayne92]

I'm sorry to here that. It isn't often for me either but thats why it stands out. Its like an attraction but not in a way that you would think. I thought that at first but once I really started focusing on it, it became apparent that its something different, something I cant explain.
But when I talk to them, that feeling becomes stronger and i start focusing on their body language, eye contact/movement and what they say and how they say it. More and more I become aware of what they are doing because I do the same thing. So it's like it's something I use to connect and help them because im the same.

[Listed MIA]

I get that. I think its because you know what to look for, not a sixth sense. though quite often i get the same feeling off people online and there's no body language to read there. its just the things they say and the way they say it i suppose? It's not just me, my best friend pretty much picked me out because somehow he knew we had the same thing in common. not that we hardly ever talk about it or anything but just knowing is good.

[Wayne92]

Like I said, how they say things is a big give away and your friend sounds like he is the same way. The biggest thing with acting on it now is that a lot of the time, people are on guard because I have figured them out before they even said any thing. Once I tell them my story, they quickly lighten up and usually open up to me.

[December]

Yeah I experience this as well. I think it's because, like others have said, you know what to look for. Some people it can be hard to see at first, but if you look and listen hard enough, it's generally something that can be picked up on. Especially once you start to notice the situations they have sympathy for, their ideas, their mannerisms, etc. There have been a few people that I have never talked to personally but know somehow that we are more connected than they might think. Experience is what binds us all together, I think, and having shared experiences usually means you understand a part of them that is also a part of yourself, and therefore can see in them perhaps a small reflection of yourself, thereby identifying them as "like you".

[Fractured Silhouette]

Or, it might just be paranoia. How do you know they've been through a traumatic experience unless you have actually spoken to them? Exactly, you don't. You could just think that the person you see have had a traumatic experience. You could just think you see the signs when you actually don't.

[LouBerry]

I've had those connections with people too, but not just with people with my problems. I think that I just naturally connect with people.

[Wayne92]

Luke you're right, I don't know until I talk to them or through some form of information that confirms it. Its a hunch or gut instinct that leads this. I couldn't see how paranoia would have anything to do with it when its only with select people, i'm not afraid and after engaging with those individuals that feeling has been proven right in all cases thus far.
Katy, you are dead on, it is seeing part of ourselves in them because we have similar experiences and feelings. It isn't just with those who have had something as horrible as being raped or abused, those who have been bullied, lack of self worth, those who self harm and even ED. More than likely we can all relate to those who do or experienced any of these in some way and for some reason.
With that realization, I act on it more, whether its just talking to them or becoming friends. You'll be surprised how much of a difference that can make in their lives.