Relationships In General.

[Octo22]

First off I'd like to say, I'm completely unsure if this goes here or Debates forum, so I apologize if it needs moved.

Why do people feel the need to so desperately seek a girlfriend?

Sure we can attribute the majority to hormones, but I think it also falls under the media. Society portrays that anyone over a certain age that isn't dating/married is a loser.

But why? Do we honestly feel that without a girlfriend we can't function properly? As if to say we're completely dependent on other people?

I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't caught in the loop before, but then I realized (after a loved one and I split) I don't need someone in my life.

What can girlfriends offer you that a best friend can't? Physical touch. That's about it, so by saying all this "just want someone I can completely trust, etc. etc." get a best friend worth having.

I still see people who are so dependent on needing relationships as somewhat sad. Especially people who like more than one person, OR focus on a girl beyond anything even if they never speak to her.

If you like more than one person, hormones.
If you like one girl but never really spoken to her, hormones. Because you don't know her personality, you just think you do.

I'd rather control my body, than let it control me.

[Maverick]

Hmmm I'll keep it here.

I actually agreed with pretty everything you said. For me being 18 next month I haven't had many relationships at all, I've never asked out anyone. All my situations regarding relationships I was asked by the girl. Most I've rejected because I didn't feel for them relationships-wise and I really didn't want to bother. I just wanted friends.

The reason why kids get relationships crazy starting middle school time is because they've started puberty, are hormonal, and they're starting to notice girls in a different way they have before. Then tag on to the 'trend' of having relationships it's why so many guys and girls have pointless relationships.

But also some people want a girlfriend because they want companionship and feel a girlfriend is the only way to get that. Also society thinks that you're less of a person once you've reached a certain age and never had a girlfriend or still a virgin.

What can girlfriends offer you that a best friend can't? Physical touch. That's about it, so by saying all this "just want someone I can completely trust, etc. etc." get a best friend worth having.
I'd rather control my body, than let it control me.
I agree with both statements.

[Serenity]

But also some people want a girlfriend because they want companionship and feel a girlfriend is the only way to get that.

Indeed. There are just some things in a relationship you can't get out of a friendship. I want someone to hold, that I know will protect me and stand by me. Yes, I'm confident that my friends will never leave me, but it's different. I want to hold hands with someone and know there's nothing they wouldn't do for me. Yes, my friends would answer my call night or day, but again it's different...lol it's kind of hard to put into words :P

[0=]

I've never experienced an urge to have a girlfriend just to have one. It's all peer pressure for those who do. My relationship has developed over a few years and we're just seeing where it goes. If you try to force a relationship it will never work.

[Octo22]

Indeed. There are just some things in a relationship you can't get out of a friendship. I want someone to hold, that I know will protect me and stand by me. Yes, I'm confident that my friends will never leave me, but it's different. I want to hold hands with someone and know there's nothing they wouldn't do for me. Yes, my friends would answer my call night or day, but again it's different...lol it's kind of hard to put into words :P

I'm more speaking out against people who SEEK a relationship, not people who just wait for the right person to MEET THEM.

When I meet gorgeous people, I wait to see if we have any chemistry before I even start to like them.

[monkeypee13]

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[Octo22]

When you say having a boyfriend/girlfriend is just the same as having a best friend but the only difference is "touching" I consider that the truth that comes to mind when you first think about it. But for me when I think deeper there's more differences. It's pretty hard to explain in words actually but lets just put it in this quote someone wrote for an assignment at my school. "The person you love is not someone you can live with, but someone you can not live without." So I say a best friend is someone you can live with someone to play around and talk to but your okay when they go "live" with other people but someone you love well you feel like crap if they go "live" with someone else therefore you can't live without them. Sorry if I'm being confusing....

You make sense, to an extent. but I cannot live without my best friend. He's one of the few people who's taken the time to get to know me, and generally just have an awesome time.

The only thing people ever find is that "deeper connection". But if you go out being all "OMG I NEED A GIRLFRIEND" you're not going to find that connection.

[monkeypee13]

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[Gumleaf]

i disagree, because i have never had an experience where i have had a female friend that i can communicate with as much then with a gf. the relationship i have with my gf is deeper then any other i have with both male and female friends. we tell eachother everything including secrets and other things that i would never tell any other friend. i think it all depends on your own situation and what you are comfortable with between friends and partners.

[Octo22]

trigger.

Why trust a girlfriend more than your best friend? Have you known the girlfriend longer? Usually not.

I've known my best friend, for 2 years now. He knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me. Why keep a secret from them? If you do, I don't consider you best friends (excluding special circumstances).

So if I start dating a girl, as time knowing her goes up, so does knowing my best friend.

Just because she's agreed to being "commited" to me and all that jazz, doesn't mean she's gonna get all my secrets.

You ASK people to be your girlfriend.
A Best friend just develops, I've never shared more experiences with anyone over my best friend, and hope never to.

Girlfriends can be awesome/fun/intimate. But I don't see the point in NEEDING one or treating it any different than a best friend situation. Afterall, aren't girlfriends best friends? Therefore you're saying you only trust someone if they're touchy-feely? Or is it if they're a girl? :O

Also after the whole not telling friends everything, your signature seems kinda ironic.

[Gumleaf]

trigger.

Why trust a girlfriend more than your best friend? Have you known the girlfriend longer? Usually not.

I've known my best friend, for 2 years now. He knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me. Why keep a secret from them? If you do, I don't consider you best friends (excluding special circumstances).

So if I start dating a girl, as time knowing her goes up, so does knowing my best friend.

Just because she's agreed to being "commited" to me and all that jazz, doesn't mean she's gonna get all my secrets.

You ASK people to be your girlfriend.
A Best friend just develops, I've never shared more experiences with anyone over my best friend, and hope never to.

Girlfriends can be awesome/fun/intimate. But I don't see the point in NEEDING one or treating it any different than a best friend situation. Afterall, aren't girlfriends best friends? Therefore you're saying you only trust someone if they're touchy-feely? Or is it if they're a girl? :O

Also after the whole not telling friends everything, your signature seems kinda ironic.


well i haven't really had a best friend before. i have had many friends i would consider close, but never one best friend until now. my girlfriend is my best friend and thats why she knows more about me then anyone. oh, and please don't suggest i only trust people who i'm "touchy-feely" with, i'm not that shallow and i find that quite insulting. and as far as my signiture goes, it shows you how to be a good friend, which includes loyalty, being there in good and bad times and being able to comfort them during the bad times. from memory it has nothing to do with which secrets and what you should or shouldn't tell your friends, whats so ironic about that?

[Octo22]

well i haven't really had a best friend before. i have had many friends i would consider close, but never one best friend until now. my girlfriend is my best friend and thats why she knows more about me then anyone.

See now you're explaining yourself. The first time you made it sound like Girlfriends > Best Friends. Now having stated you haven't had a best friend excluding girlfriend, it makes way more sense :yes:

[Sage]

'Romantic' relationships are silly. I'll leave it at that.

[Serenity]

'Romantic' relationships are silly. I'll leave it at that.

Lol Tim you can't just leave it at that :P Come on, back yourself up- you know we're all gonna go crazy anyway, beat the mob :P

[Octo22]

'Romantic' relationships are silly. I'll leave it at that.

Well the opposite of romance would be coldness.

So you prefer cold relationships? without emotions? ;D

[Sage]

Well the opposite of romance would be coldness.

So you prefer cold relationships? without emotions? ;D

Coldness is not the opposite of romance. To my knowing, there is no opposite to romance. Don't assume that just because I don't like one thing I love the opposite. We should all just find a positive medium and treat genders equally. The whole idea of romantic relationships, to me, is silly. It's nothing but a long, monotonous obstacle on the way to... get ready..

INCREASING HUMAN POPULATION! Oh my.

Besides Octo, you said 'cold relationships' and 'without emotions', which should be a fairly blatant contradiction. Hate is a very powerful emotion, I'd know.

[Octo22]

Please, please, please try and get a girlfriend by stating "I'm not into romance and see this as merely our attempt to increase the human gene pool". Sorry, you just seem like those silly people who overthink things to the point of either, not caring or depression.

[Sage]

Please, please, please try and get a girlfriend by stating "I'm not into romance and see this as merely our attempt to increase the human gene pool". Sorry, you just seem like those silly people who overthink things to the point of either, not caring or depression.

You fail to see what I'm saying. I'm not trying to get a girlfriend, because I feel its a lousy concept. I think that, rather than having a 'girlfriend' we just treat all our friends of both genders equally, and, if someone likes to, they'll have sex.

You think I overthink things to the point of indifference and depression? Now that's just rude. I think THE MAJORITY OF ALL HUMANS overthink and overglorify this ritual of having sex and have coated it with a barbed-wire fence known as 'romance'.

Have a nice day. =)

[Serenity]

You fail to see what I'm saying. I'm not trying to get a girlfriend, because I feel its a lousy concept. I think that, rather than having a 'girlfriend' we just treat all our friends of both genders equally, and, if someone likes to, they'll have sex.

:eyebrow: Friends with benifits? I don't think so. First off, you're suggesting casual sex whenever you feel like it- that's unhealthy in SO many ways, the worst of which being emotionally. We've all heard that story and it's true. When you have sex with someone there is an emotional attatchment and to throw that around like it's nothing can and will have a serious and negative impact on a person. And secondly, don't you think that'd be awkward?? Knowing your entire group of friends was sleeping around with each other all the time? I'm sorry, I would never be able to live like that.

You think I overthink things to the point of indifference and depression? Now that's just rude. I think THE MAJORITY OF ALL HUMANS overthink and overglorify this ritual of having sex and have coated it with a barbed-wire fence known as 'romance'.

We're not just talking about sex here, it's the relationship between two human beings. Yes, sex may be included in that relationship and yes, it's a powerful thing, but there's so much more to it than that. I've seen any number of couples who share more intimacy than I would ever imagine possible- while practicing absitence.

And romance is not a barbed-wire fence, how could you say that? I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that..

[Sage]

Meh. Nevermind, I'm not thinking today.

[Octo22]

Well said EmotionalMeltdown, you covered everything I would've.

[Serenity]

'Sall good, Tim, and good to hear Octo :daisy: