Just a rant about my life I could use some help on.

[Thecodfather]

Where to start..Well. My mum is a drug addict, me and my sister lived with her for about 11 years. But she did it in front of us like she didn't even fucking care. She has about 20 fucking cats and doesn't have the money to pay their food. I remember once when I was younger cause my mum is a lazy fucking bitch she made me walk to the shop with some money and buy some cat food with a ten pound note, and I actidently lost it. When I got back crying my eyes out cause I knew she'd punish me, witch she did. She never took me or my sister out any-fucking where we litterly stayed in the house. We always had a new kitten witch we played with and loved before it fucking died and broke our hearts, but the thing is my younger sister had someone to fall back on.

When my mum and dad would yell and fight she'd run to my room and hug me crying saying she wanted to run away. I didn't have that I had to be the strong fucking one and help her, and she takes it all for fucking granted. I might not have the worst life but it just anoys me. Anoys me how my sister fucking puts on fucking the sluttiest of clothing and goes outside, even if it's freezing fucking cold she says "It's not cold!" and wears bloody short shorts with some fucking lether clothing.

So fucking happy I live with my dad, but not much has changed really. I mean all the wayy through fucking school I've been bullied, 'sept this year. Cause in this year people have started talking to me and getting to know me, not back then. Back then I had no one to play with, I just sat on a bench, waiting for someone to play with and no one did. I remember once at school in year 4 or 5 I wanted to kill myself and someone who is my 'friend' agreed with me and tried to make me do it. He said I should smack my head into a brick wall really quickly, I didn't want to but he kept on and on at me I swear If I didn't ignore him I fucking would of. The same kid on the last year of that school year 6 he kept smashing my head against the bus window over and over and he wouldn't stop I've come to a conclusion that's why I'm very forgetful.

When I went to year 7 in a new school I was hoping I could start a new, but everyone was hitting puberty but me I was still a little immature prick. Up till the end of year 8 was when I started getting friends and maturing up cause when I didn't have friends I had no fucking reason to change I was just a little 'do what I want' asshole when now I'm actually really polite. And now in year 10 we're getting our GCSE's oh god I swear that's gonna piss me off so fucking bad. Dad want's me to get a good mark when I'm a fucking dumbshit. I mean I picked all the GCSE subjects witch were FUN not what I was GOOD at. I'm actually SHIT at EACH one of my GCSE's I took. I've tried killing myself before though that's the thing I've tried a few times cause I think I'm a failure, still think that.

I mean my older sister fucking hung herself in her own house when I wanted to see her! It's not fair! The nicest people who just want others to be happy not them self's others! The people who want others to be happy get fucking shit lives why can't everything just be..good!? I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.. I remember cutting my wrists once though, not that deep. But I felt better, took fucking ages to heal and fucking hard to hide, but I felt better. Haven't done it since. Not dreaming either witch is anoying. Sleeping into blankness, waiting to wake up. And while your trying to sleep you have friends yelling at you in your head it's not fucking fair!

Ah I fucking hate my life! And that's just an outline, I have shit loads of other things to say. It might not be the worst life ever but I fucking hate it! Everyone thinks I'm a weird freak cause I have fucking red hair and I like anime, okay the anime sterotype is fucking weird but that's no real reason to fucking judge! I'm not into the cruddy weird ones anyway. I mean Dad's fucking making me work hard trying to get a good grade and it's not doing fuck all I just want to get some D's so I can join the army and get fucking shot, if I even fucking live to join the army. I don't know, hate my life. I've said about everything I've wanted to say. Oh but it doesn't matter cause soon I'll want to rant again and I will and everyone will think I'm a fucking attention whore, it's not fair. I've cried myself to sleep too, a few times. Ugh..
I don't care anymore, people can judge you all you want. Just don't fucking listen to them. Goodbye.

[Thecodfather]

God I rant so hard I forget the other things I want to say =.= I'll say it another time. I feel so much better.

[sportyyy]

Just remember things will get better

[Listed MIA]

That sounds really shit. I'm sorry. i can kind of relate to some of what you say. it's good you haven't tried cutting yourself again though, its can be addictive and really hard to stop. i really don't think you are weird because you have red hair and like anime. People are so stupid. say what you like here. no one will think you are an attention whore. Good luck with the gcse's, hopefully it will be better than you think.

[Thecodfather]

There's alot more than that I just ranted as much as I wanted xD, gets worse. But that's the thing! I don't want to rant anymore RIGHT NOW cause I would look like I'm attention seeking. And yes I'm glad someone can actually relate, makes me feel alot better. I mean it's not like I'm into completely weird weird anime's like..Sailor Moon or something x.x. And no I cutted once, then noticed how fucking visible it was and stopped. But yeah it's feels so addictive. I'm just happy someone actually read that massive rant. xD

[Mirage]

Sorry you have to go through all of this crap...
I hope your situation gets better though :)

[bigbrapp]

I feel ya bro. idk about the drug addict part but my mom is really lazy and my dad sometimes abuses me. i also get bullied in school so dont worry about it. just remember that ur not alone. just block out the assholes and try to get a good job and a vehicle. then you can move out. trust me, when i get my drivers liscence, im out!

[Thecodfather]

Ikr. I just want to join the army so I can get fucking shot x.x but 'eh. I dunno. Not the worsts of lives, but I did miss out chunks.

[West Coast Sheriff]

Just remember this will turn around and it will eventually get better, sorry u had to deal with all this

[Thecodfather]

Surprised anyone really cares what happens to me o.o cause I'm a weird little..weird kid. Like in that picture I wasted £15 on a BRS plush for no reason.

[level_up]

omggg my little brother's name is Aaron! And you even kind of look like him a bit, it's weird...but yeah that just made me extra sad because your story really got to me :( I can't imagine having to deal with anything that difficult, it makes me ashamed almost to complain like I do about my problems.

The tough thing about being in a situation like yours is there's no one you can really turn to to help you out because your sis relies on you, your dad just wants you to work hard, and your mum is strung out. unfortunately most people do not have friends that are really good with this kind of thing either, so you are going to have to keep relying on yourself for the time being. But I think you should have way higher self-esteem than you do, just because of the amount of crap you've had to deal with. It's really brave and cool that you looked out for your sis like you did, and that you were able to just get to this point really. Your life is hard, much harder than most, but it's really up to you whether things get better and you can make something enjoyable out of it.

Don't beat yourself up for liking anime, I love it and so do lots of people. Just don't be afraid to be yourself, do what you like doing, make friends with people who have the same interests, and work hard to get good marks on your tests so you can do something you want to with your life later on. Joining the army to go and get shot would be a huge waste I think; you have gotten this far and you deserve to enjoy things a little more k? If you ever want to rant some more you can to me, I don't mind at all so just hit me up when I'm on alright? take it easy.

[Strawberrie]

I can't think of any way that I could be of help to you, but I want you to know that I care. You've been through a lot of crap in your life, and you deserve so much better. I believe that if you stick with it, life will turn around eventually, because it will. If you can live through all the darkness, there will be light on the other side, and you're going to want to be alive for that. You only get one life and you can make something of it. You're young. Even if you're not book-smart, you can be whoever you want to be one day. And even if you don't believe that, I do. So I really hope you stay strong and keep fighting for your life because you deserve to live. I hope things get better . <3

[Thecodfather]

..Thanks everyone for the positive feedback, it really helped; alot. Tristan no one really likes it where I live or come from, and I did miss out some chunks in that story like my older brother used to bully me for being ginger and liking Pokemon, but I was like 7 -.-. And umm..Eh..I don't want to mention much more. I wish I did have someone to rely on though, 'cause now I'm going into year 10 at school and I am really not ready for it, it's not like I'm stupid I'm actually pretty mentally smart I'm surprised others don't think the same. Thank you for your feedback. And Amie just you replying and showing that you care has probably helped more then you ever could O.o. Thank you all.