I'm sorry, I just need to get this off my chest...

[Sam The Creator]

Hi. I'm Sam. I'm sixteen years old and I had decided a year ago that I was mature enough, fifteen, to maintain a relationship. Soon after, I met an amazing guy named Andrew. He was seventeen. Everything was great with us, he promised me so many wonderful things in my future. I had loved him, but little did I know that he was going to be my biggest regret...My most awful most mistake...My real-life nightmare.

We started dating and doing things any teenager would do like kissing and going on dates for instance. Then, I noticed a sudden change within his personality. It happened one night in June. He had invited me to a carnival. He would make stay right by his side tge whole time. He wouldn't even let me say hi to my brother's friend. At first, I just thought he was protective, but then he wouldn't even hold my hand. He grabbed my arm forcefully and pulled me to every ride and concession. I had enough. He made me embarrassed. People were looking at me. He started to pull me to another ride but I stopped. I planted my feet into the grass and stopped. I wouldn't move or say anything but 'No.'. He became pissed. He said 'Fine.' and pulled my arm to his car. He drove me back to his house and I walked home by myself at midnight.

I hadn't talked to him for a week and he called. He apoligized and said a whole bunch of other bullshit that I fell for. He told me he had loved me and I had forgiven him. He invited me to spend the night at his house since his parents were away for a buisness trip for two days. I had accepted his invitation and he picked me up. We went to his house and went up to his room. He locked the door. He put on a movie and in the middle of the movie, he hovered over me kissing me and pinning me down. At the time, it seemed normal and I trusted him enough not to take it any further. But I was wrong again. He started undressing himself and I got up and tried to move away but he pinned me to the wall and took off my clothes so roughly I had bruises. I was terrified. I tried to scream but I couldn't. He had punched me in the mouth and I was in shock. I couldn't speak or scream. I just sqeezed my eyes shut and wimpered as he abused me. He raped me until passed out.

(I'm not going to touch on the rape part.)


I'm not seeking attention or pity. I just needed to vent to somebody. I've had numerous councilers but it just doesn't help me. This has ruined me. I haven't had a relationship or have had sex since out of fear. The preasure has made me attemp suicide and proceed in self-harm. All I wanted was to get this off my chest, to tell people my own age my story.
I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to be bullied by people because I haven't had a relationship because I'm ugly, or fat, or anorexcic (Which I'm not.), or 'emo'. I just want to be ME again.

[WearAngels]

Not in pity-full way of response but i must say that you did great as you've shared this experience, at least it helped you to burst it out. But due i care i like you to hear my side so ended up doing this post as a response. I hopefully looking forward of giving you comfort even just a bit. Live well my friend ! God always loved you .. Things happened for a reason.

[crisel]

I'm proud of the courage of sharing it. At least you can have people to talk to. Base on your experience, I know you're having a hard time but I know your friends and family will help you lift you out of it. God bless.

[Sam The Creator]

Not in pity-full way of response but i must say that you did great as you've shared this experience, at least it helped you to burst it out. But due i care i like you to hear my side so ended up doing this post as a response. I hopefully looking forward of giving you comfort even just a bit. Live well my friend ! God always loved you .. Things happened for a reason.

Thank you so much. I can't even express my praise to you. c':

I'm proud of the courage of sharing it. At least you can have people to talk to. Base on your experience, I know you're having a hard time but I know your friends and family will help you lift you out of it. God bless.

Thank you! I haven't tried telling friends, but I'm sure they know. The last time I told somebody, they told everybody else and made a joke of it... And my aunt believes that if I don't speak of it things will become better gradually. She thinks of it as my fault/ as karma. But I do have my sister. may God bless you too. c':

Please don't double post, use the edit button instead ~Silver Assassin

[Stryker125]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. Please just know that all of us (guys) aren't like that.

[Sam The Creator]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. Please just know that all of us (guys) aren't like that.

Yeah. I totally understand that deep inside. I guess I'm just too insecure.

[Christheman]

It's ok. We are all here for you and its not your fault. By the way did you press charges?

[December]

You are very brave for talking about this, and I hope that someday you will be able to set aside the memories and move past it, at least a little. Whatever happened was not your fault in the slightest, and hopefully with time you will see that too. What he did was inexcusable, but you are very strong for opening up about this and seeking help and talking to others. A lot of people would keep something like this bottled all up inside. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with all of this, I know someday things will seem brighter for you again. Stay strong :)

[Foamy]

Bitch. I HATE bitches like him. I would never do anything like that to any girl. Im sorry about what happened. I also agree with everyone else about how you let it out. It's bad to keep it bottled inside you.

[Sam The Creator]

It's ok. We are all here for you and its not your fault. By the way did you press charges?

Supposedly I was too young without consent from my parents. My aunt, who is technically my mother now, wouldn't let me because she is very close with his mother.

You are very brave for talking about this, and I hope that someday you will be able to set aside the memories and move past it, at least a little. Whatever happened was not your fault in the slightest, and hopefully with time you will see that too. What he did was inexcusable, but you are very strong for opening up about this and seeking help and talking to others. A lot of people would keep something like this bottled all up inside. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with all of this, I know someday things will seem brighter for you again. Stay strong :)

Thank you so much. I will definitely work to focusing on being a stronger person.

Bitch. I HATE bitches like him. I would never do anything like that to any girl. Im sorry about what happened. I also agree with everyone else about how you let it out. It's bad to keep it bottled inside you.

I'm very delighted to hear that wouldn't abuse a girl. Its nice knowing that there will be one less abusive relationship in today's society. Thank you so much.

Please don't triple post, use the edit button or the multi quote feature~Silver Assassin

[Iron Man]

Men that do that to women can't be called a real man, but a coward. He did that, so that he could permanently have power over you, which I hope didn't work. I'm so sorry this happened, but I bet it taught you how to notice the signs that someone isn't who they seem. I hope everything works out for you in the future.

[Sam The Creator]

Men that do that to women can't be called a real man, but a coward. He did that, so that he could permanently have power over you, which I hope didn't work. I'm so sorry this happened, but I bet it taught you how to notice the signs that someone isn't who they seem. I hope everything works out for you in the future.

Thank you so much.

[HOLEinyoursoul]

I don't understand what goes through people's minds when they do things like that. Do they not understand that they are harming people not only physically, but mentally as well? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, no one should. He's a pig and should have to live with the consequences of his actions. And it's bullshit that they wouldn't let you press charges. Talk to me anytime love, anytime. I know what it feels like to be afraid of a guy you thought you loved.

[candabear17]

I went through a lot of the somethings but I didn't know the guy who raped me >.< I'd really like to talk to you some more if you don't mind.

Do not share emails ~ Mike/ImCoolBeans

[Matt_is_Awesome]

Dude this sounds like my best friend! She had a nice boyfriend that 1 year later turned out to be a horrible, mean, aggressive, rough,abusive boyfriend too her.. He always told her what to wear, she had a "No, No" drawer full of expensive hollister cloths she couldnt wear because he said they wear bad cloths, he controlled her and basically bullied her infront of us (her best friends) We tried so hard to stop thier relationship and didnt work. Then phase 2 of this kicked in. He broke up with her so many times and she kept accepting his apologies and got back together hoping things would change. It got so bad he left her heart broken by breaking up with her on the phone and she was crying hardcore on the cement while i was being an amazing friend making her dinner one night. Finally thier done and she took my advice and now she with an amazing boyfriend. But He ruined her and she always tells me she feels guilty dating someone else, and how bad she feels and wishes it all would end. He basically screwed her up!

[Sam The Creator]

I don't understand what goes through people's minds when they do things like that. Do they not understand that they are harming people not only physically, but mentally as well? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, no one should. He's a pig and should have to live with the consequences of his actions. And it's bullshit that they wouldn't let you press charges. Talk to me anytime love, anytime. I know what it feels like to be afraid of a guy you thought you loved.

Thank you so much. I'll definitely talk to you when I get time. :p I'm actually about to get ready for a recital.

Dude this sounds like my best friend! She had a nice boyfriend that 1 year later turned out to be a horrible, mean, aggressive, rough,abusive boyfriend too her.. He always told her what to wear, she had a "No, No" drawer full of expensive hollister cloths she couldnt wear because he said they wear bad cloths, he controlled her and basically bullied her infront of us (her best friends) We tried so hard to stop thier relationship and didnt work. Then phase 2 of this kicked in. He broke up with her so many times and she kept accepting his apologies and got back together hoping things would change. It got so bad he left her heart broken by breaking up with her on the phone and she was crying hardcore on the cement while i was being an amazing friend making her dinner one night. Finally thier done and she took my advice and now she with an amazing boyfriend. But He ruined her and she always tells me she feels guilty dating someone else, and how bad she feels and wishes it all would end. He basically screwed her up!


I'm so sorry. Not only for your friend, but for you. It must have been really hard to understand why she wouldn't break up with him when you guys constantly told her he was bad news. But love is powerful when you are a teenager. It brain washes you...

please do not double post use the edit button to edit your original post -FullyAlive

[Wayne92]

Im sorry for your experience. it took courage to talk about it. I was sexually abused when i was 12 and i didnt talk about it until i was 17. I can give you suggestions on what to do help overcome this horrible experience and what it has done to you. Message me whenever you want. Be Strong.

[WaffleSingSong]

Wow...Thats sad. It's kinda like what my mom been though as a teenager (A little less graphic, but basic principle) and I'm deeply sympathetic for you.

Are you sure he is not doing drugs or drinking too much achahol? What about if he has any personal problems? I mean, He might be mean, but not evil. No one is. I know that is hard for you do understand. However...

...If he is just a huge dick, I would go "Viva la revolution" on him and I'd be dialing 9/11 or making a restraining order, one or the other. Mean humans still have to be punished or at least secluded from what there harming.

[Sam The Creator]

Im sorry for your experience. it took courage to talk about it. I was sexually abused when i was 12 and i didnt talk about it until i was 17. I can give you suggestions on what to do help overcome this horrible experience and what it has done to you. Message me whenever you want. Be Strong.

I'm sorry. Thank you so much.

Wow...Thats sad. It's kinda like what my mom been though as a teenager (A little less graphic, but basic principle) and I'm deeply sympathetic for you.

Are you sure he is not doing drugs or drinking too much achahol? What about if he has any personal problems? I mean, He might be mean, but not evil. No one is. I know that is hard for you do understand. However...

...If he is just a huge dick, I would go "Viva la revolution" on him and I'd be dialing 9/11 or making a restraining order, one or the other. Mean humans still have to be punished or at least secluded from what there harming.

No. He doesn't have a drinking/substance problem. And I'm pretty sure his past was alright too. I would put a restraining order against him but my aunt is close with his mother so I still do see him.

Posts merged ~ Mike/ImCoolBeans

[Wayne92]

No. He doesn't have a drinking/substance problem. And I'm pretty sure his past was alright too. I would put a restraining order against him but my aunt is close with his mother so I still do see him.
How have you handled seeing him sense then? The things that happened to me were by my stepdad so there was a point where i really wanted to kill him. Now im ok but if i see him i dont know what I would do.

Feel free to message me whenever you want.

[Sam The Creator]

Thank you all so much!!

[Thecodfather]

...Fuck. I'm sorry. I mean I don't even know who you are or what I'm doing I just got bored and I went to check something on VT and I just randomly clicked this and read it and, fuck o.o. I'm sorry, I see why you needed to vent.

[Sam The Creator]

How have you handled seeing him sense then? The things that happened to me were by my stepdad so there was a point where i really wanted to kill him. Now im ok but if i see him i dont know what I would do.

Feel free to message me whenever you want.

I guess I just do... I mean now I am forced to have conversations with him still but I'm not sure...

[Wayne92]

You are a stronger person than I am, if it were me and my step dad. Let's just say I'd probably be in handcuffs. That being based on how I use to feel, if it were now, i may be civil enough to not kill him... but maybe chase him with a shotgun or something. :D

[devilsheep]

Im sorry you had to go through that Sam.. nobody deserves to be raped, especially by someone they trust.

It's good that you've gone to counsellorss, and posted here.. getting it off your chest is definately a good start. I think you should make an effort to try and move on from the incident, if you can. You are no longer together with this guy, you may see him at school but you can ignore him.

You should try and find some friends that you can tell and get support from them, hang around them.

In all honesty though, I don't think you should fear having a boyfriend again. Guys like that are rare. If you happen to meet a guy again that you like, give him a chance.. you know the signs now and if you see them then end it earlier.. but I think if you find a guy that treats you right everything will be OK.

For now just try and stay positive, you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Goodluck hun

[shark-bait]

omg. after reading this... i'm legit scared to get a boyfriend... but i am so so so so happy you didnt just keep this all bottled up inside of you. please please promise me tht you won't do any self harm anymore? i know its really hard . but trust me . you have to stay strong<3

[Mike753]

You most likely won't find that "dream" guy in high school, it doesn't matter if their the most popular or not at all, how nice they are or rude they are. I am out of high school now, at 18, and I remember seeing so many people in relationships all of the sudden just 'disappear' one day, every person, every time.

If you wait till after high school, or college your chances to get a person to be with for a long time are a lot better. People are more mature, simple as that. If a guy can do what he did to you without apologizing or even considering what he did wrong, he doesn't need to be with you. What makes him think he has greater power over you then yourself? Nothing should. He should understand that, if he doesn't, you should leave him.

You're beautiful (The best way I could put it, sorry), finding that guy that you like and that likes you won't won't be that hard after high school, it's just a matter of waiting - and you can do it. Besides, you have a lifetime ahead of you to spend with 'that' one person, so waiting is worth it.

There is no reason to think you're 'ugly' because some moron abused you and had a bad relationship with you. You're you, look in the mirror.

My sister was the same way, she's 28 now, I'm 18 (10 years older). She was with some douche that didn't have a job, was rude to her, and didn't help her with anything at all. She got with him in high school and it ended a bit out of high school until she left him. No incest shit.. but she's pretty, she didn't have a hard time finding that 'right guy'. The guy before ruined a part of her life the same type thing that happened with you. Now, she has a different husband after 3 years and they both work for very good oil companies and make hell of a lot of money.

The point, like your parents probably say.. (Mine did); Patience is a virtue. I know I'm probably some random here just making a long ass post like most do, but this is one of few long threads that reply to. If you want to talk or ask me a question as a guy send me an e-mail.
mike -at -michael.dudmail.com

[AsianAnime]

Oh my god I feel very sorry for you. I'm sorry. I don't know how monster's do this kind of stuff.

[Sam The Creator]

Oh my god I feel very sorry for you. I'm sorry. I don't know how monster's do this kind of stuff.
No need for pity, but thank you.

[irishguy123]

This f*cking c*unt (to put him poilitely) did not deserve a young,pretty girl like you.
It is important to know yourself never to contact this person again. It showed how pathetic it was and you deserve credit for being so strong about it.
As for you and your future you MUST take relationships slowly and at your own pace. If you are not ready for one, then you are not ready for one. As for people bullying you it is none of their business and your friends should stand up for you and if they dont and they make fun of you then they are not really your friends. You need to stand up for yourself, be strong, be confident and do not be ashamed of yourself or what happened. If you love someone then you should go for it as not all people are like the horrible person who did those things to you. Good luck in the future as you deserve the best after what you have suffered and stay strong! :)

[patrickh]

I'm sorry this happened to you, but don't commit suicide. Not all guys are like that.

[lddboy]

Wow, I know u don't want any pity but I'm sorry this happend my friend was raped and she fought back and the guy broke her jaw, again I sorry this happend to u

[chiliguy]

I don't know what to say... Those people should not live! I strongly believe that, even if it sounds harsh! I would gladly break his bones for doing that to you. I know, I don't know you, but no one should be treated like that!
Did you talk to anyone about it? I mean a psychologist or something... And I don't get the part where your aunt won't let you to report him! What do you mean "they are close"?? HE RAPED YOU! What kind of person is she, if she won't defend her niece that was raped by some as$ who happens to be the son of a friend? I'm sorry if I insulted your aunt, but that's what I think that you should do! Tell her and report the bastard! Soon or not there are going to be other girls who will walk in your shoes with him... Think about it.
Everything's gonna be fine sweetie :)

[sparta]

3 years ago, one of my good female-friends was raped. It was her first boyfriend (I'm not sure if this was your first boyfriend, but it seems like it might have been).

2 years after she was raped, she still hadn't seen anybody. There were people that she'd had "crushes" on, and had good times with, but she couldn't find it to trust anybody, in case what happened the first time happened again. I'm going to tell you the very same thing I told her, though it may be no consolation: Most of us, are not like Andrew. The majority of us really do care for the women that we fall in love with. Unfortunately, there are some really bad people out there.

I personally have never experienced anything even remotely close to this, and I'm definitely not going to tell you I know how you feel, because I certainly do not. However, I will tell you that, eventually, in time you will find somebody who you can trust. It might take a year. It might take five. But it will happen.

My final statement may sound rude, and I apologize wholeheartedly, but it really needs to be said, by somebody.

"Supposedly I was too young without consent from my parents. My aunt, who is technically my mother now, wouldn't let me because she is very close with his mother." (sorry, still a noob, don't know how to quote things.)

Your aunt seriously needs to give her head shake. It is irrelivant if her friend is the mother of Andrew or not. What happened was both illegal and disgusting, and your Aunt should be there for you, especially if she is now considered your mother. That woman is abusing you by not allowing you to get the help that you need, and frankly that disturbs me greatly.

First, Rape carries a statute of limitations of FIVE years in MOST US states (assuming you're in the United States. In some countries the statute is more/less, ie. in Canada there isn't one). This basically means, that you can press charges against Andrew for up to 5 years from the date it happened.

Second, I don't know what you meant by supposedly being too young. You either meant:
1) too young to consent to sex without parental consent or;
2) too young to file charges

If you meant (1), you were correct. Again, most US countries have 16 as the Age of Consent to engage in Sexual Intercourse. Technically, you were under 16 and were therefore too young to agree.

If you meant (2), you were completely misinformed. There is no "age" in which you can report a crime of ANY nature, especially not one of this magnitude.

Finally, one more thing that may help you is this: Because Andrew was 17 at the time (above the age of consent), and you were 15 at the time (below the age of consent), ANY sexual intercourse is considered Statutory Rape. Alot of the times this happens and it was completely consentual and no charges will be pressed, however, legally, anybody who found out that a minor had had sex with somebody over 16 can file charges on their behalf, without their permission.

My friend pressed charges against her, obviously now-ex boyfriend, and it helped her immensely. He may have only received 2 years in a Young Offender's institution, but it was also a way of her getting some of her dignity back, of saying that this rape was in no way her fault.

You're partly blaming yourself for what happened with statements like "which I fell for again", but it's important to realize that this was NOT your fault. You did NOT ask for this to happen to you, and you certainly didn't deserve it.

Thank you for sharing, I hope everything works out for the best and feel free to PM me if you have any questions or just want to talk. I can't guarantee I'll be online often but I'll be sure to check back in the next little while.

[MrCoombs2014]

Hi, I know i probably cant help to much because i dont know exactly what you've been through but i've had plenty of relatives that have and friends. The people that i have talked to said what helped them the most was just having someone to listen to them so if you want to talk to someone about anything im here. I get that we dont even know each other but who cares? Its always good to rant to people so like i said if you need to talk im here. Im sorry by the way i know its hard to love someone and have them turn around on you like that.

[Perfectly Flawed]

First off you should file charges yourself if your mother and aunt won't because you can't let him do that to someone else, and you deserve justice. Second sense all that I could say has already been said I'll just let you know that I'm open to talking about anything whenever you want to.

[Love.Hate]

Use this site to vent as much as you like, if it helps let it out :)

I am so sorry he did that to you, i know how you feel and i can promise you something, it really does get easier to deal with in time. I was in your position about seven months ago.. You cannot let him win. You are better and stronger than him mentally and you are a beautiful girl. Give it time, in the meanwhile, dont bottle anything up, because that is awful. Have you spoken about it to parents or anything? Talking openly helped me, always remember it was not your fault, of course you believed him saying sorry, you loved him. He is the one in the wrong, always remember that

Things will get brighter :hug: If you need to chat im here xxx

[anymasy]

You may trusted someone you shouldn't. But never let it change you. Everything ends in your mind. Believe yourself, trust yourself. Never lose your trust to love. Love made you born, love made you live without love you are nothing. You may love the wrong people once but I know that you'll never do it twice. That's it. Things never happens for chance.
Be you, never regret who you are, never do things which you'll regret. Think that that was a milestone in your life. And continue, love someone else. Think that it's a test that you'll learn your score afterlife. God sees it. God knows it. God wants you to stand still.

[Clum]

wow, i feel really bad for you :( this guys a prick and your aunt shouldn't stop you pressing charges just because she is friends with the guys parents. If you want to press charges you should, teach the A**hole a lesson he wont forget and he wont repeat his actions on other girls, like everyone else says you are , to say the least , very brave for sharing this with us x

[root]

lol, nice face.

this is why ppl carry around knives, just sayin.

[WalkingOnDisaster]

I know you're not looking for pity... But I am so,so sorry. You didn't deserve that. If you need a buddy I'm here for you.

[katelyn97]

Wow I am so sorry this happened to you, its the worst when you know and trust the person, what a jerk, he never deserved a girl like you, but the way you have spoken out about it on here shows you are strong, dont let him make you feel worthless and disgusting, you didnt deserve that, you didnt want that and you deserve sooo much better, one day you will find a real man who treats you and loves you the way you deserve to be, I would love if you messaged me some time:) Thankyou for sharing your story:)

[JustinPCGamer]

Rape, probably the worst thing a male can do to a female. What a horrible thing; there's something really wrong with him. He fooled you the second time when he apologized. Don't worry about that, learn from that mistake. Males are horrible, females may not be better but we are really bad. I'm bringing down my whole sex when I make that statement but it is true. I would continue to try and seek counselors, perhaps you just didn't have the best luck with the first few. It is important to seek help though. Don't kill yourself, people love you and care for you. Hurting yourself is not worth it.

"I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to be bullied by people because I haven't had a relationship because I'm ugly, or fat, or anorexcic (Which I'm not.), or 'emo'. I just want to be ME again."

People change every single day slightly. Experiencing rape changes you forever scarring you psychologically. You will NEVER EVER be the same again. You will have to cope with this and like I said, seek help again. Also, did you press charges or anything against him? He should be locked up at the least.

Edit: I forgot to mention. I also am sorry this happened to you, no one deserves to be raped. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES. I'm not going to lie, my eyes did tear up a little when I was reading your thread. You will overcome this though, I promise.

[VladT91Blues]

It's crazy. That's why we as teens are pressed to leave relationships into being an adult. I'm not saying don't date, but nothing alone. You may feel secure and ready but you don't know about the (next) idiot you choose.

Use that as a teaching tool to other friends. Save others. I'm sorry u had to experience that. Anyone. Guy or girl. Tale your time and wait or don't be alone.

[Wanderer_]

Don't let your aunt stop you - she doesn't deserve to be your guardian if she won't let you report him to the police because of her friendship to his mother! Who does she love more? You or her??
I would really encourage you to report him otherwise you won't be the only girl he rapes - you may not be the last, you might not have been the first