How old is "too old"?

[boonsim]

My Dad is getting remarried, so I now have multiple step-siblings. I'll be focusing on my youngest stepsister Kendra for this post.

Kendra is 19 and she is dating this boy Anthony. My dad, step-mom, sister and I all met him last Friday. He seemed nice and all, but he's 28. It was also Kendra's birthday when we met him, so Anthony is 10 years older than her.

This bothers me on a few levels, and it also bothers her mom. Aside from obvious questions like how this random man met my college-aged step-sister, I wondered: How old is too old for a relationship age gap?

I think this is too big of a distance personally. A girl who is barely a legal adult and a man pushing 30 as a couple is just creepy! So what do you think?

[Guillermo]

I think this age gap is a little too much also. Now if she were like in her mid to late 20's and he was still 10 years older, I don't think it'd be as awkward. Why do I think this? Well because by your mid and upper 20s, you'll have (hopefully) experienced "real life". That is, having a job and working in the world and supporting yourself. Also, usually one becomes more mature with more life experience by then. But she is 19, which means she can make that decision of dating a man that's 10 years older than her without her parents telling her she can't since she's over 18.

So how old is too old? I don't know. I guess there are boundaries. I personally think that over 10 years is too much. Hell, i would even think that anything over 5-6 years is a bit much for me personally. But to each his/her own.

[boonsim]

I think this age gap is a little too much also. Now if she were like in her mid to late 20's and he was still 10 years older, I don't think it'd be as awkward. Why do I think this? Well because by your mid and upper 20s, you'll have (hopefully) experienced "real life". That is, having a job and working in the world and supporting yourself. Also, usually one becomes more mature with more life experience by then. But she is 19, which means she can make that decision of dating a man that's 10 years older than her without her parents telling her she can't since she's over 18.

So how old is too old? I don't know. I guess there are boundaries. I personally think that over 10 years is too much. Hell, i would even think that anything over 5-6 years is a bit much for me personally. But to each his/her own.

Thank you. The family's main point of concern here is that he would be buying her alcohol or something (she has had alcohol in the past), so her dating a much older man is disconcerting.

[unnamed94]

although i usually answer this kinds of posts saying that 4 years or so is a lot, you have to consider your sister is 19. she is an adult and is responsible for her actions. at 19 you are mature to enough to date someone much older (although 10 years difference seems to be a little bit too much). i have girl friends who are 19 or 20 who date or dated guys who are 24 or 25 and theres nothing wrong with it because they are mature etc. if your sister has her priorities clear and wont do anything she might regret then i see nothing wrong with it specially if he seems nice and everything, although you should be a little cautious.

[Fruit_Tart.]

I don't think anyone's judgement would matter. It's up to the people who are dating and them only. Sure it's taboo, but people are just going to have to deal with it.

How would you like it if someone prevented you from loving someone else?

Eh. People perceive things differently.

i.e. of an extreme case: Hue Hefner and his girlfriend.

EDIT:
But there is a line to be drawn when a old pedo dick hits on a teen or even a young woman. That's gross.

[Wisconsin]

I don't think anyone's judgement would matter. It's up to the people who are dating and them only. Sure it's taboo, but people are just going to have to deal with it.

How would you like it if someone prevented you from loving someone else?

Eh. People perceive things differently.

i.e. of an extreme case: Hue Hefner and his girlfriend.

EDIT:
But there is a line to be drawn when a old pedo dick hits on a teen or even a young woman. That's gross.

I agree COMPLETELY. 100%. Thank you fruit tart lol I couldn'ta said it better myself

[torry]

My brother is 10 years older than his wife. I don't see it as a big deal at all. I have a friend whose dad is 18 years older than his mom! (which seems really weird, but they have a beautiful family and love each other very much). I think a lot of it depends on the ages of the couple at the time. It's a huge deal if a 18 year old is dating a 12 year old, but not so much if a 38 year old is dating a 32 year old.

[Dwl4]

it realy doesnt matter about age it matters if they truly love each other

[Listed MIA]

I don't see anything wrong with it. She's 19, she's an adult who can make her own choices. if she was 15/16 that would be different. and about the alcohol, in most other countries around the world you would be seen as mature enough to handle alcohol. i think 18 is the usual legal age in most places. the guy seems nice, that's the main thing.

My mum is 34, her boyfriend/partner type of person is 59, so they have a 25 year age gap! that's kind of disturbing. but he's a pretty nice guy. they have a baby together, which is extra weird because the time she is my age he's going to be in his 70's.

[FreeFall]

There's nothing wrong with it since she is 19 and their relationship is their business, not your's or your family's.
I understand you're concerned but it's fine, she's an adult now and if she's 30 and wants to date a 40 year old there's not much difference now.

[Ambrosia]

I am 18, about to turn 19, and my boyfriend is 29. He is 11 years older than me. Our relationship works out just fine and we have been together for over 6 months now.

It all depends on the mentality of both envolved. Age doesn't matter in any case (I have a friend who is 27 dating a 49 year old). If they enjoy each others company and the age gap doesn't bother them than leave it alone. There is no problem at all.

In all honesty, people need to keep their noses out of other peoples business when it comes to what makes them happy. I have a big issue with my mother and sister HATING my relationship. All they seem to care about is that him being older than me is going to "hurt" their reputation in town. So, think about it, would you rather see someone you love happy, or care more about other peoples opinions?

[heeysamantha]

I personally am more attracted to older men. I think its her choice. and I wouldn't want someone else trying to tell me that I'm not old enough to be with someone especially if I'm 19... It's her life and he choice. 10 years is not THAT big of a deal.. but i feel like 15 is pushing it.

[Kirsi]

I think once you are out of high school you are an adult and possibly mature enough to handle a relationship with someone who is older. I personally think that once I am 18 10 years older is as far as I would go and 3 years younger and once I'm 28 10 years either way is as far as I would go. But then my one aunt is 14 years younger than my uncle and they have been together since she was 21 and she is in her 40's now so as long as your mature enough I don't see a problem with it. Also they could have met in college there are people in their 30's who still go to college so it is possible.

[Christheman]

my mom is 47 and my stepdad is 67....