11+ Years...

[sliidz]

A recent event occurred that caused me to lose it. I've held back my emotions, my depression since I was 6, maybe even before that. I'm ready to be that coward who escapes their problems by committing suicide, I know I don't want to.. and I know I could probably get help. Yet, the time is coming to an end to closely. I REFUSE to call any numbers because 99% of people don't know this and I cannot be asked to talk right now. You, who have read this, along with two other people are the only people in the world who know about it.... and I want it to stop before its to late.

Edit: I can't take much more of this... When someone replies... most likely it will be to late, because no one seems to care about me and is willing to help....

[Desuetude]

Please, tell someone. Even one of the two people who already know but talking to someone and getting help is the only way you can move forward and sort out what the problem is. There are online message sites where you're able to stay anonymous if you don't like to call, you could think about finding one of them. Suicide is such a permanent option, you can't come back or change anything, people will be left with questions that will never be answered especially if no one knows that there is something wrong. You can't be oblivious to the fact that people will be hurt by your actions if you leave completely. If you found help now I'm sure that it will do some good, if not it will let people know that you're hurting so they can find alternative ways of going about helping you. Suicide will let people know as well but as I said earlier, it will be too late to change anything.

People will blame themselves for not seeing the signs and it will affect so many more people than you think it will. There is good in life, being depressed from the age of 6 means that you probably haven't seen much of it but you can, if you just reach out you'll see that life is beautiful, not something we should strip ourselves of.

If you need someone to talk to/vent to then you can PM me, I'm always willing to listen and help as best I can and I do hope you decide to take on board some of the advice in this post.

[sliidz]

at the moment im speaking with my aunt... but the other 2 people who know said fuck off i dont want to deal with it... i just know suicide isnt right and i am better then this and i want to be better :/

[Desuetude]

Well speaking with your Aunt is great, opening up to someone is the first step towards recovering. They're idiots if they told you that then, I'm guessing they were friends? Whoever they are they're not worth one bit of your time.

Course you're better than this, suicide isn't the right option for anyone and it's great that you see that. The fact that you want to get better is also another step forward you're taking. Talking to your aunt is good but maybe if you were able to ask to see a therapist or some professional who's job it is to understand.

[sliidz]

Okay i need help again.... since i am 17 i cant see anyone with out my mother being there.... problem? yes.. my mother is why im suicidal.. and why i face depression any opinions on that :( please help.

[rach_jones14]

you are 17 so you should be able to get out of the house soon. i sometimes wish that for me. get away from her if shes such a bad person 2 b around. cut all ties. change ur cell number. move 2 a diff state.

[minecraftmstr]

plz no.....
keep life u will never get it back

[sethrocks96]

I wouldn't do it. YOU NEED TO LIVE!!

[Gazmo]

please dont do it. ive attempted suicide a few times, but last time i overdosed and my parents found me. they were a mess and were crying so much, it made me realise that it was selfish of me to hurt them. i do get where your coming from, i still wish i atually did it, but i know i'll fight for as long as possible. be strong, i care, and im here for you if you need someone to talk to