Being used

[Wayne92]

Just a couple hours ago i had to end it with a girl i had a relationship with. We weren't dating but not really lovers. We met at a friend's party and started talking and came to find out that we were both abused in the past and as a effect, she has a rape/abuse fantasy and I'm a whore. :( She wanted me to satisfy that fantasy for her, but I didn't want to because I didn't want to hurt her(or anyone else), I didn't want to go as far as she wanted to and suggested we could just be rough as a type of compromise, but she wouldn't hear it. With enough pleading, she convinced me to do so but we never did anything due to conflicting schedules. Despite our "desires", I still wanted us to go out and stuff and made every attempt to do so but always got a excuse. Last week I told her that I wanted to get help for my urges to constantly have sex, but still wanted to be with her. She said she was ok with it and said she would try to work on her urge as well. I text her earlier to check on her after not talking for a couple days, to find out that she has a new boyfriend that lives a lot further from her than me, yet still will satisfy her fantasy. She said that i was the one that blew it and that I didn't do enough so she lost interest. After going down the list of all that i did and tried to do for her, she wouldn't even apologize. :(
My question is, was she using me to fill her needs? Is it right to get mad or betray someone because they wanted to change certain things within their own life? Any other forms of input on this is encouraged and appreciated.

[Harley Quinn]

My question is, was she using me to fill her needs? Is it right to get mad or betray someone because they wanted to change certain things within their own life? Any other forms of input on this is encouraged and appreciated.

I think that yes, she was using you. Some people are like that, if you can't/won't give them what they want, they'll find someone else. She did, and that's not exactly fair I know but it happens. I think the best thing you can do is leave her to it, because at the end of the day she'll get bored with this new guy too. It's just how the cycle works. It's not right to betray someone just for those reasons, just because she betrayed you doesn't mean that you shouldn't change anything in your life that you want to. If it's what you want, don't let what someone else did stop you/change your decision.

[Wayne92]

yeah, but it's the fact that she made it sound like I didn't do enough and its my fault when I would bend over backwards for her. Then says she was respecting my decision to get help to do what she did. Even then, I still wanted to talk things out, but she was set on her choice. I just feel really stupid and heartbroken.

[Harley Quinn]

It's not your fault so don't blame yourself, it's just something she wants and will do anything to get it and doesn't want to wait. It is a bit strange that she said she respected your decision yet still went off, but hey this shit happens and there's always someone else out there for you.

[Wayne92]

I said the same thing too, when I first told her she said she would work on her urge as well. I talked to her about a couple times after that just to check on her and to be there for her or see if she had any concerns. She said she was ok then this happened. Its like she was so hellbent on me satisfying her that she ignored all my other efforts to be their for her. I can't help but to be hard on myself since I never been in a real relationship before and the realization of this hurts.