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View Full Version : I relapsed, but maybe for the best


Tristin.
July 21st, 2012, 05:13 PM
This is just a vent, but feel free to comment.

At the age of 15, i started self harming. It started out with scratching and slowly built up to cutting and even burning. It started as a may to deal with what i thought was loneliness at the time, but as i later would out was in fact depression due to a combination of things. The last time i cut was January. I promised myself and my best friend that i would stop.

Then last week, i lost control. It started over the smallest thing. My Father came home from business, one of his visits home and at the table he started asking what i was thinking of doing now i had left school and i snapped. I started screaming at him, asking why now after 17 years he "bothered giving a fuck" and i threw the dinnerware off the table and kicked my chair over. I snapped. I told him he was useless as a father and a coward. At the beginning of the year my brother was in hospital for a month and not once did he visit.

After that i went up to my room, locked the door and sat crying on the floor, that's when i relapsed, i remember everything and it felt as if everything i had ever felt was coming up at once.

I tried calling my friend, but he is abroad so couldn't answer, my brother had stormed out the house shortly after dinner and my parents were doing their usual, being useless and worrying about the cracked china and chipped chair. As i lay crying i just felt the urge get stronger and i relapsed. I took my craft knife from my art folder and i started cutting up my leg.

For the first time since i started cutting at 15, i scared myself that night. I remember laughing and crying as i cut my leg over and over. My leg is a mess and so is my stomach which i scratched to the point it bled. The real clincher is that while i did it i remember thinking that if i was a better son, if i got better grades, if i wasn't gay, if had been better looking or if i had some great talent that maybe my parents would have cared over the years and maybe they would have been 'Mum and Dad' rather than 'Mother and Father'.

I need out of this house. I need away from my parents. I need away from all of this. I don't care for their money, i don't care for the house's, i don't give a fuck about the trust fund! They can keep it all! I want out. They have never been my parents. They have been my fucking bank book! Last week i realised that. Maybe my relapse was for the best.

Desuetude
July 21st, 2012, 05:28 PM
I'm so sorry you relapsed, it's not for the best, please don't think of it as a good thing. You don't need to be better at anything, your parents are stupid for not caring, it's not your fault they have problems and they're not there for you and your brother. They should have been all along, that's what parents are meant to be for, supportive and someone to go to find comfort.
Maybe, when Scott gets back, you could go and stay with him for a bit? Get out of your own house. Or any other friend for that matter but I know the feeling of needing to get away from it. Even just going for a really long walk can sometimes clear your mind and make things seem calmer.
Please don't start it up again. 6+ months is an amazing achievement and it's something you should be very proud of whatever the outcome turns out as. You don't need self harm to cope, you've proved that now. Put this behind you, for yourself and others who believe in you. It's okay to relapse but you need to pick yourself back up and make that promise again. You can do this.

But I want you to know that if you need someone to talk or rant to then you can always come and find me. Although I might not be the best at giving advice it's nice to have someone to listen and be on your side.

VictoriaGotaSecret
July 21st, 2012, 08:54 PM
i dont get it, how was relapsing for the best??

Amaryllis
July 24th, 2012, 08:08 AM
Tristin, it's been a while.

Imagine the best life you could possibly have, a few years from now. Whatever you imagined - unless it involves superhuman powers - you can get it.

Even if you were straight, a ridiculously ridiculous genius, the most obedient son in the world, if your parents are apathetic to your pain and needs, they will still be apathetic. You deserve love and kindness and appreciation and understanding. It definitely isn't you. You don't deserve to hurt and I hope one day you'll be able to love yourself. Even when the world is telling you you shouldn't.

You snapped and it's completely understandable. You're hurting, you've been hurting for a very, very long time. No one should have to go through what you did and do. We wish everyone could be more understanding but sometimes people are simply stupid and incapable. That doesn't mean you have to follow their footsteps, though.

Cutting hasn't erased your problems or even permanently relieved them. Assuming they did temporarily. If they did, you wouldn't be posting this. When I feel ilke relapsing, I just wait it out. Even if it hurts like hell and I want nothing else but to shred myself apart. Eventually it fades and I don't feel the urge that bad anymore.

The only way to prove yourself to your parents and the world is to live the best life you can. To thrive and survive because you're a survivor, Tristin. You've conquered obstacles much greater than what you're facing now.

Soon you won't ever have to see your parents again. And because of everything you've gone through, you'll be tougher than nails. All those problems you'll face will seem small. And even if they aren't, you'll be okay. You've come so far, you can go even further.

Someone once said when you reach the bottom, the only where to go is up.

Take care and with all the love in the world,
Amaryllis