self-conscious, and ruining my life.

[CJgiggles]

I need help badly.
Over the past year i've come to find myself extreamly self-conscious. Whenever someone gives me a comment about how i look, i atomically shoot it down.

I can always find negatives in the way i look and i can't see any positives. It's gotten so bad that when my boyfriend talks about another girl, i somehow find a way to twist it in my head so that i find myself having to compete with them mentally. I guess the best way i can put this is... you know those pretty girls on shows that go to get all kinds of surgery? i always hated them, i always wanted to shake them and tell them how pretty they are, but when they look in the mirror they see and ugly monster. i know how they feel now.

I know he loves me and whould never leave me for another girl, but i find myself constanly competeing with them becuase i don't find myself pretty, i think i'm fat and they are pretty and everything i'm not. Every time i think about it, it makes me upset and it's ruining my life...

I just wanna find a way to love the way i look and overall, learn to love myself. If anyone has gone through this or has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

[Serenity]

Well when I'm feeling particularly negative about myself in my appearance, here's what I do:

I stand in front of a full-length mirror and examine myself from lots of angles. I list the good things about myself- toned calves, skinny arms, etc. Then I list the bad things [which can go on forever] such as enormous thighs, a bit of a gut, too-small breasts, etc. Then I go back to each of the bad things and imagine how much WORSE they could be. I imagine in my mind every possible negative physical aspect I could ever have, and it makes me grateful for the body I have. I remember that I'm not perfect, but I could be a lot worse off.

Then, I remember how much more substance I have besides my physical appearance, which also makes me feel much better about myself.