Should I bring this up? How do I do it?

[canadaski]

I have evidence to suggest my best friend is gay or bisexual and into me(i'm into him). He's one of the people that doesn't really open up much but you can see all kinds of things going on inside them. Anyway that's beside the point, he cancels plans a lot last minute and it gets frustrating because I really look forward to being around him. How can I bring this issue up without sounding too serious or like I own him and govern everything he does? Would it be okay to say something like this?

"No, don't worry it's not inconveniencing me. I was just sitting at home. It's just that I really enjoy being around you, always look forward to hanging out with you and find it disheartening when you cancel last minute."

It's pretty much impossible to offend him and I just want to bring it up passively but assertively in a half-joking manner. I don't want to anger him or make him feel guilty. What could I say?

[Sonic Boom]

For next time you make a plan to hang out: Kidnap his favourite soft-toy, send pictures of it duc-taped to a chair or something and say "Promise to come with me or else the fluffy bunny gets it!" Hopefully he'll play along.

[Gandalf]

I have evidence to suggest my best friend is gay or bisexual and into me(i'm into him). He's one of the people that doesn't really open up much but you can see all kinds of things going on inside them. Anyway that's beside the point, he cancels plans a lot last minute and it gets frustrating because I really look forward to being around him. How can I bring this issue up without sounding too serious or like I own him and govern everything he does? Would it be okay to say something like this?

"No, don't worry it's not inconveniencing me. I was just sitting at home. It's just that I really enjoy being around you, always look forward to hanging out with you and find it disheartening when you cancel last minute."

It's pretty much impossible to offend him and I just want to bring it up passively but assertively in a half-joking manner. I don't want to anger him or make him feel guilty. What could I say?

I know what it's like for somebody to cancel last minute. If I agree to meet somebody somewhere I would go.
I would just ask him if there was a particular reason why he cancels your plans? Does he give an explanation into why he is cancelling the plans or does he try to dodge the question? That will give you some sort of clue.


For next time you make a plan to hang out: Kidnap his favourite soft-toy, send pictures of it duc-taped to a chair or something and say "Promise to come with me or else the fluffy bunny gets it!" Hopefully he'll play along.

That would definitely work on me. A friend tried to coerce me into going on a theme park ride, I said no so he took my bag off my back and before I realised it he queued up for a ride then put my bag in a cage, meaning I couldn't get it back until I had been on the ride! Thankfully he did that because I enjoyed the ride after all that...

[Upgrade_U]

that sounds like a very mature way to handle it.

[Sean4U]

I think your idea is very good and mature yes....but you said you think he is into you?....could he possibly be trying not to because he doesn't know if you might accept him that way?...and also the bunny works :D

[Losing Sanity79]

What I did for my friend was, I just asked.

[momo....]

its ur choice

[dontfiguremeout]

Okay first part of the bi/gay thing, is you really can't label anyone without them actually telling you. What if he has gotten shy or uncomfortable around you? I mean that you really can't say he is or think he is because he cancels hang outs without him telling you he is. Now second thing is, ask him why does he cancel hang out time? Is it because he's nervous? scared? did something you would be ashamed of? Just ask him, and be friendly with him as you did say he is your best friend, that you don't need to cancel our hang out times because of (fill in the blank), not when your with me. If you get more open with him, or let him be open with you (without any PRESSURE), he will open up and explain why he kept canceling hang out time.