whiteyrhys
July 11th, 2012, 07:03 PM
Hey guys and girls! :)
How are you all doing? I hope you're well! Wherever you are in the world have an awesome day! I'm not sure if I am posting in the right place here so moderators feel free to move to a forum more suitable.
I suppose I better start at the beginning really I apologise if this turns into a bit of a bible to read, but those who finish it I'd really love some advice/feedback, I give it on here so I'd like to receive it :) if you can give some. If there is anything you don't quite understand then just PM me, if not then a VM would be absolutely fine!
_________________________________________
Throughout my life, I have never really been considered as an individual who has a natural 'charisma' for making and keeping friends. Where others have found it quite easy to do this naturally , for me it has been quite a difficult struggle.
This difficulty/problem can be attributed to a number of important factors that have developed during my life.
Since I was a young boy , from memory, around 5 or 6 it was noticed that I wasn't doing well in terms of interaction and socialising with my peers and it was at this time I was diagnosed with Aspergers, now those of you who know about it or may even have it will know that it's not a disease or an infection but something that simply affects my social skills and abilities. for those of you who want to know about it more then feel free to message me about it! Aspergers would affect me doing simple things like going up and talking to new people and getting to know them and various other acts. As I have grown older the Aspergers' control over my life has become lesser and lesser but it is still a part of me and will always be a part of me for the rest of my life just less and less noticeable as I work on my various skills.
Another factor was primarily a fault of my parents, although I'm not sure if it was thought through when it was decided. During my younger years again around the same age I lived in quite a large town and tended to 'mix' with the wrong sort of people who got into trouble and therefore got me into trouble, as I was getting older to keep me out of any potential trouble my parents decided to move to the country - it was still a location on a bus route but it was one that was very infrequent and not very practicable for going out and meeting with friends which of course didn't really allow me the opportunity to go out and meet other people either through various organisations, clubs etc...
At primary school it was also around 5 miles from my home , with around about 98 students over 7 years (very small school, in proportion the largest primary school in the city nearest to me had 300 students) there wasn't a lot to do or a lot of people there to get to know - especially as I had entered half way through the school year and also most of the students there all knew each other having went to nursery school and through the various years together so I was coming in quite blind without really knowing anyone. There wasn't any bonds made at that time and I tended to be a bit of a loner during primary school.
High School was when it all changed for the better. When I entered my first year I came together with some 300 other people from the area and further afield with students from all different nationalities. In the first few years there were some initial 'teething problems' with regards to my shyness and partly Aspergers which not a lot of people understood , many who didn't give the chance to understand it and instantly dismissed it as some sort of 'deformation' which it completely is not! My 'breakthrough' and my sort of proudest achievement so to speak has been when I first met my 'bromance buddies' they are three of my closest and loved friends who I met at a party which I was strangely invited to by someone in one of my classes, we all got talking and they were the first ever guys to ever take an interest which was pretty awesome...The killer of my mission to overcome this Aspergers and make new friends was the revelation that I was Gay, it was a hard few months after I mentioned that but after it all went back to normal but during this time there were still people who were too scared to get to know me mainly because I was gay and they didn't want to be associated with that even though most people knew that the way I presented myself in society not one person would have ever noticed, but alas there was still that problem. Although during my 6 years more people came to get to know me and became friends with me (girls and guys included - as people matured so did their attitudes) most of which have now moved away ,which has really stung me a lot and potentially put me back to where I started, except one or two and my three closest friends which ironically for a guy guy is not girls as is the norm but they are guys!
There was also other occasions that when I had spoken to someone either via phone or through cyberspace that I would end up giving them the wrong impression of me through some form or another which really brought me down at times as people make their minds up and decide that thats you all over when it's really not. Messaging systems can be mis-interpreted as you cannot know the intended tone of a message whether it is happy or angry all that there is for someone to look at is a series of text. Most people who have judged me in the past who have either cammed, spoke to me on the phone or met me have realised they have been wrong and have apologised but there are the others who go around mentioning their experiences to everyone and they single handedly ruin any chances I may have with someone that I haven't spoken to but come across....which I'm sure all of you will agree is quite unfair.
There are also things that are making me stressed out and times quite ...'teary eyed' is a light way to put it because all of this frustrates me as I wish I could just be one of those people you see around town in various cities and towns with a 'circle of friends' To this day I still try and get to know people over Facebook and things like that as I am still working on approaching people in person and things like that, don't get me wrong though in person I am talkative, approachable and a very nice person who you would never associate with having this problem but it's something that I don't want to live with anymore =/
Can any of you relate to this? What do you think?
P.S. Thanks for reading this guys, I really appreciate it!
How are you all doing? I hope you're well! Wherever you are in the world have an awesome day! I'm not sure if I am posting in the right place here so moderators feel free to move to a forum more suitable.
I suppose I better start at the beginning really I apologise if this turns into a bit of a bible to read, but those who finish it I'd really love some advice/feedback, I give it on here so I'd like to receive it :) if you can give some. If there is anything you don't quite understand then just PM me, if not then a VM would be absolutely fine!
_________________________________________
Throughout my life, I have never really been considered as an individual who has a natural 'charisma' for making and keeping friends. Where others have found it quite easy to do this naturally , for me it has been quite a difficult struggle.
This difficulty/problem can be attributed to a number of important factors that have developed during my life.
Since I was a young boy , from memory, around 5 or 6 it was noticed that I wasn't doing well in terms of interaction and socialising with my peers and it was at this time I was diagnosed with Aspergers, now those of you who know about it or may even have it will know that it's not a disease or an infection but something that simply affects my social skills and abilities. for those of you who want to know about it more then feel free to message me about it! Aspergers would affect me doing simple things like going up and talking to new people and getting to know them and various other acts. As I have grown older the Aspergers' control over my life has become lesser and lesser but it is still a part of me and will always be a part of me for the rest of my life just less and less noticeable as I work on my various skills.
Another factor was primarily a fault of my parents, although I'm not sure if it was thought through when it was decided. During my younger years again around the same age I lived in quite a large town and tended to 'mix' with the wrong sort of people who got into trouble and therefore got me into trouble, as I was getting older to keep me out of any potential trouble my parents decided to move to the country - it was still a location on a bus route but it was one that was very infrequent and not very practicable for going out and meeting with friends which of course didn't really allow me the opportunity to go out and meet other people either through various organisations, clubs etc...
At primary school it was also around 5 miles from my home , with around about 98 students over 7 years (very small school, in proportion the largest primary school in the city nearest to me had 300 students) there wasn't a lot to do or a lot of people there to get to know - especially as I had entered half way through the school year and also most of the students there all knew each other having went to nursery school and through the various years together so I was coming in quite blind without really knowing anyone. There wasn't any bonds made at that time and I tended to be a bit of a loner during primary school.
High School was when it all changed for the better. When I entered my first year I came together with some 300 other people from the area and further afield with students from all different nationalities. In the first few years there were some initial 'teething problems' with regards to my shyness and partly Aspergers which not a lot of people understood , many who didn't give the chance to understand it and instantly dismissed it as some sort of 'deformation' which it completely is not! My 'breakthrough' and my sort of proudest achievement so to speak has been when I first met my 'bromance buddies' they are three of my closest and loved friends who I met at a party which I was strangely invited to by someone in one of my classes, we all got talking and they were the first ever guys to ever take an interest which was pretty awesome...The killer of my mission to overcome this Aspergers and make new friends was the revelation that I was Gay, it was a hard few months after I mentioned that but after it all went back to normal but during this time there were still people who were too scared to get to know me mainly because I was gay and they didn't want to be associated with that even though most people knew that the way I presented myself in society not one person would have ever noticed, but alas there was still that problem. Although during my 6 years more people came to get to know me and became friends with me (girls and guys included - as people matured so did their attitudes) most of which have now moved away ,which has really stung me a lot and potentially put me back to where I started, except one or two and my three closest friends which ironically for a guy guy is not girls as is the norm but they are guys!
There was also other occasions that when I had spoken to someone either via phone or through cyberspace that I would end up giving them the wrong impression of me through some form or another which really brought me down at times as people make their minds up and decide that thats you all over when it's really not. Messaging systems can be mis-interpreted as you cannot know the intended tone of a message whether it is happy or angry all that there is for someone to look at is a series of text. Most people who have judged me in the past who have either cammed, spoke to me on the phone or met me have realised they have been wrong and have apologised but there are the others who go around mentioning their experiences to everyone and they single handedly ruin any chances I may have with someone that I haven't spoken to but come across....which I'm sure all of you will agree is quite unfair.
There are also things that are making me stressed out and times quite ...'teary eyed' is a light way to put it because all of this frustrates me as I wish I could just be one of those people you see around town in various cities and towns with a 'circle of friends' To this day I still try and get to know people over Facebook and things like that as I am still working on approaching people in person and things like that, don't get me wrong though in person I am talkative, approachable and a very nice person who you would never associate with having this problem but it's something that I don't want to live with anymore =/
Can any of you relate to this? What do you think?
P.S. Thanks for reading this guys, I really appreciate it!