Have some questions

[Miss.Suicide]

I'v been wandering if I was bi-polar for a while now. I'v done quite a lot of reading up on the internet and stuff, and at one point I went to a doctor to talk about depression... But i never really gave him a chance because I found it to hard to talk about things. Anyway he said something about refering me to a psyciatric ward so I could talk to somebody who specialised in teen depression... but at hearing that I freaked and stopped talking to the doctor and I lied and told him I felt fine .. so that didn't work. Anyway so I have some questions about bipolar.

1. Can you ever have long periods of time/short periods of time where you feel pretty normal. Like not depressed and not hyper active ?

2. I have a really common thing where I just rant about something. All this random stuff just keeps coming out of my mouth so quickly I don't even think about what I'm saying its just so automatic. It's normaly either me telling a random pointless story of something that happend (true things) or me complaining about something really small that really bugs me. Most of the time my friends just laugh when I do it... well I can see why I'm sure it's really funny.. but all of them say that I do it so often and it's very much something they associate me with. I was wandering if that might have anything to do with bipolar ? (Also I do it on MSN messenger, i start typing extremley fast sending hundreds of messages in minute all me ranting about something without thinking)

3. When I get hyper (mania ?) I don't tend to do things that people would concider dangerous... like I wouldn't try to jump of a high building thinking I would be fine or something, the most dangerous thing I'v ever done is run accros a road when theres no traffic lights ... I just kinda walk into the road and hope I can dodge any cars. (I generaly tell people I do that because I hate waiting for the lights and people also seem to associate me not waiting and walking into roads with me). I also don't have too many symptoms of mania, I mostly get very hyper and run around and shout really loudly, talk very fast and laugh for so long at very small often un-funny things. I often walk straight accross roads, rant off about everything/anything/nothing. I tend to start wandering why I was ever sad/depressed, why I ever felt like that and wander how I could have thought that I had a horrible life and that from now on things will change and I will feel amazing all the time, but then that doesnt happen and I get depressed again and think goodnes how did I think I had changed (sorry if that bit was confusing). So do I actualy get manic or what ?

4. I sometimes get so angry or I feel like I should be very angry but I can't see that I am.. it's really hard to explain. I also get very very irritable and the smallest things annoy me.. I'v started crying a few times because stupid things got to me and I'v got really mad at people because they said something / did something that just pissed me off so much. I'v never got so mad that I'v thrown chairs around or shouted at a teacher or something drastic I just feel extremly pissed off and want to shout but I never seem to... I'm not sure if that has any significance ?

I can't think of other questions just now but I did have one .. which I have forgotten so I will add if I remember.

Thanks for any answers.

[Sapphire]

As you are undoubtedly aware, we can only give our opinions and facts about bipolar disorder. I urge you to try speaking with your doctor again.

1. Can you ever have long periods of time/short periods of time where you feel pretty normal. Like not depressed and not hyper active ?
Yes those with bipolar often experience periods of "normal" mood which can last for any length of time.

2. I have a really common thing where I just rant about something. All this random stuff just keeps coming out of my mouth so quickly I don't even think about what I'm saying its just so automatic. It's normaly either me telling a random pointless story of something that happend (true things) or me complaining about something really small that really bugs me. Most of the time my friends just laugh when I do it... well I can see why I'm sure it's really funny.. but all of them say that I do it so often and it's very much something they associate me with. I was wandering if that might have anything to do with bipolar ? (Also I do it on MSN messenger, i start typing extremley fast sending hundreds of messages in minute all me ranting about something without thinking)
Speaking at increased speeds is a symptom of bipolar though it may or may not be the case with you.

3. When I get hyper (mania ?) I don't tend to do things that people would concider dangerous... like I wouldn't try to jump of a high building thinking I would be fine or something, the most dangerous thing I'v ever done is run accros a road when theres no traffic lights ... I just kinda walk into the road and hope I can dodge any cars. (I generaly tell people I do that because I hate waiting for the lights and people also seem to associate me not waiting and walking into roads with me). I also don't have too many symptoms of mania, I mostly get very hyper and run around and shout really loudly, talk very fast and laugh for so long at very small often un-funny things. I often walk straight accross roads, rant off about everything/anything/nothing. I tend to start wandering why I was ever sad/depressed, why I ever felt like that and wander how I could have thought that I had a horrible life and that from now on things will change and I will feel amazing all the time, but then that doesnt happen and I get depressed again and think goodnes how did I think I had changed (sorry if that bit was confusing). So do I actualy get manic or what ?
Levels in the severity of mania vary from person to person. Do you drink or abuse drugs? Do you put yourself in other potentially dangerous situations?
How would you describe your perception of objects, people, colours, sounds, taste, or life in general when in this frame of mind?

4. I sometimes get so angry or I feel like I should be very angry but I can't see that I am.. it's really hard to explain. I also get very very irritable and the smallest things annoy me.. I'v started crying a few times because stupid things got to me and I'v got really mad at people because they said something / did something that just pissed me off so much. I'v never got so mad that I'v thrown chairs around or shouted at a teacher or something drastic I just feel extremly pissed off and want to shout but I never seem to... I'm not sure if that has any significance ?
Some people experience this instead of or along side with the elation of mania. It could be of significance or it may not be.

These could all possibly be symptoms of bipolar, but see your doctor for a more definite answer.

[byee]

There's always a risk in self diagnosis of getting it wrong, even with research online. It takes a professional to properly diagnose anything as complex as Bi Polar. it's too bad you freaked when you saw the doctor, he had a good chance of properly diagnosing what you have and then treat it. Consider going to another. They're there to help you feel better, not just throw you into a psychiatric hospital!

Let me try to answer these questions as best i can (and again, i have to thank my Dad the Shrink for some of the answers).

First, Bi Polar in teens doesn't have the same symptoms as either you'd think from the name, or what you know/may have seen in adults. That's because brain chemistry and development is different with teens than adults, and BPD is a brain ailment.

The major symptom of Adolescent BPD is volatility of mood. Not 'moodiness', but intense, out of control moods accompanied by fits, outbursts of irrationality and unreachableness. Dad says it's very intense and disproportionate to anything going on. Not at all like mood shifts/swings, etc.
He says it's like comparing chocolate to heroin.

The other thing he said is that BPD runs in families very strongly. If one of your parents or Grandparents has it, you might. However, if no one in your family has ever been properly diagnosed with it, the chances of you having it are very slim.