I was raped last year

[iblameyouforthis]

deleting this

[Caver]

Raping is a serious offense, it's never too late to tell someone so he can be punished. He wasn't a true boyfriend or cared about you to be calling you fat and raping you. It will get better as life goes on, you just need to try and move on and focus with school. But tell someone, again it's never too late to report him to the police or somebody! Just tell someone.

[Desuetude]

I can understand that it might seem scary but I really do urge you to tell someone. No one will think any worse of you, none of it was your fault and things can still be done about it. You are not pathetic or weak and the he is entirely to blame. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this and are still going through this but telling someone means getting help, even if you just went to a counselor at first it would be hard but eventually getting it out and letting someone else know should take a massive weight off your shoulders. Please think about it because you really don't have to go through the aftermath of this actions, alone.

[iblameyouforthis]

deleting this

[Caver]

It does get easier in time, many people in the world get raped. They have no control, and no one will think badly of you if anything they'd think badly of the man.

[Desuetude]

No one will hate you, you are the victim in this and if you told someone I'm very sure people would be willing to help. If you voiced what happened then there will be even less of a chance of him acting the same way to anyone else but if he's done it once then he's very capable of doing it again. It seems hard but you have to be strong, for yourself and for others that could get hurt the way you were.
You did not deserve it. No one deserves to be raped. You didn't ask him, he did it against your will and it was very very wrong of him to. You posted here because you thought we might be able to help and hopefully we've put something, if only something small, in your mind that might persuade you to tell someone.

I was exactly like that when I joined, scared someone I knew might find me. It might take a bit of time to adjust (that's if you stay and I do hope you decide to) but that feeling does go away eventually. Everything should get easier over time, things in your life will change, you'll meet new people. Experience new, good things. It might never go away completely but you can help yourself get through the experience by going to someone. The first step is telling people here, on the internet, I know how hard it can be and you might not think so but it takes some courage telling strangers about your life. I want to say again, you did not deserve it, okay? You are not ugly or fat. He was an idiot for making you think that, it's people like that that can ruin lives.

[iblameyouforthis]

deleting this

[Desuetude]

I think it is a lot easier to tell strangers over the internet because I know I will likely never see them. It does feel a little better now that I have said it to at least somebody. I have been trying for a while now to work up to courage to say something to someone about it but so far I am still too nervous. Who could I go to anyways? My mother hates me I have hardly anyone else.
Maybe but it's a start, just telling someone. It might take a while but hopefully you'll build up enough courage and decide to tell someone. Do you have a school counselor or someone. You don't even have to start with that, just tell her/him how you feel and hopefully just trusting someone and opening up to them will allow you to express the things that are buried deeper.

[StoppingTime]

You have no reason to feel ashamed. It was completely out of your control, and it wasn't your fault.
It doesn't matter that it happened a year ago; you can still tell someone. If they truly understand, then they will realize how much it took for you to tell them, and they won't judge you for it. Nobody would think badly of you, they know that you were the victim.
You posted because you were looking for help, which means you haven't given up. This is a safe place. It is hard to really understand this, but you did the right thing just by posting here. If you are worried about others' safety as well, then there's another reason to tell someone.
As for being comfortable again, that can take time, and it will. There's no problem with that. New people will come into your life, and though you'll never "forget," it happened, interaction will become more natural.
As for who to tell, if you can, start with a counselor. They are there to help you, not judge you. If you feel you can't "open up" to them, is there a friend who you really trust, who you could tell?

[Caver]

I think it is a lot easier to tell strangers over the internet because I know I will likely never see them. It does feel a little better now that I have said it to at least somebody. I have been trying for a while now to work up to courage to say something to someone about it but so far I am still too nervous. Who could I go to anyways? My mother hates me I have hardly anyone else.

I'm sure your mother doesn't hate you, she probably loves you but doesn't show it. I think you should tell a grandparent, aunt, or sister or a real good friend.

[iblameyouforthis]

deleting this

[RedViper]

My ex was raped, I was the only one she told and she wouldn't let me contact the police or anything. I guess it was kinda good she didn't tell me his name though.. That wouldn't have ended well.. It's really common for people to not to tell anyone about getting raped. It's not your fault and you most certainly didn't deserve it, no one does. you're not a horrible person. Blaming yourself will only make things worse. I've never felt you're pain but i can understand it. please tell someone or contact the police.

[StoppingTime]

My sister is younger than me I couldn't tell her and my other extended family lives 5 hours away along with my old friends including my best friend. I guess once I start school again I could maybe go see the guidance counselor there? Maybe eventually I could tell her I guess. Does anybody know how to not have nightmares about stuff like this all the time or to not be constantly afraid?

Could you call one of your friends? Maybe talk to them online? Any of these can help.
As for the nightmares, there really is no way to control them. Just don't think about the event often, and accept that it was truly not your fault, and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. You did nothing wrong.
As for being afraid of letting others in, just remember they won't do the same thing to you. If you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone you can trust, tell them what happened, and this way, you can assure yourself it won't happen again.

[iblameyouforthis]

deleting this

[toobigforlife]

Dont be afraid to speak out, there is great power in those who speak out, for example Martin Luther King Jr. used his words and he changed America and the world against discrimination and racism

[yankeefan]

thats horrible

[TwilightFan]

I really think it's not good for you to hold it in. I know it's hard for you right now to belive it, but there is really nothing YOU should be ashamed of! It was not your fault. You wanted to go to the movies with a guy you liked. You're not the first teenager who did that. And I don't think you're the first teenager that was raped like that.

I think there's not much you could do to punish that boy, because he's underage. However, there's a lot you could do to get over this, because, clearly, you haven't got over this yet. And I think it would be a whole lot easier for you, if you weren't in this alone. I think you should tell your mom what happened. Yes, it was a year ago, but it's never to late when it comes to this things. Then you should go to your school consleur and ask her to tell you, where you could find a psychologist to talk about this. You should tell her not to tell any of your teachers about that, since I think you don't want them to know (right?). I almost certain she won't. And if you don't want to do that, I think with your parents' help you could find a psychologist on your own, without the help of your school consleur.

But it really is important for you to talk about that with your parents and psychologist. It clearly still haunts you and you can overcome your fears with the right help. A lot of people have.

[Cicero]

Raping is a serious offense, it's never too late to tell someone so he can be punished. He wasn't a true boyfriend or cared about you to be calling you fat and raping you. It will get better as life goes on, you just need to try and move on and focus with school. But tell someone, again it's never too late to report him to the police or somebody! Just tell someone.

Actually that's not true, there is a time frame which you can press charges, but if you wait to long justice would never be served.

If I were you, I'd press charges ASAP and call a lawyer, I know in the US the police might not want to deal with a rape case that happened a year ago. But you can press charges, sue, and put a restraining order on that creep. I'm extremely sorry that happened to you, I believe the only real way you'll get over this is if you talk to a therapist. Your health insurance should cover it, because it was so serious. Make sure your parents or guardian knows about this and tell them. If they do not do anything, that in itself, is child abuse. Because its refusing emotional/mental care for someone who really needs it. But stay strong and try to think of happy thoughts.

[aanderso_n]

the best thing you can do is talk to someone; a trusted adult, a doctor, or a counselor. When you can speak to someone openly about it, it is one less thing you have to keep inside and one less burden on your mind. I stopped eating for a long time, for different reasons, so i don't know exactly how you feel, but i know the general feeling of understanding you are underweight. Don't feel like you have to conform to anyones views. YOU define your own beauty and nobody can take that away from you. so don't feel ashamed to speak up. If you talk to the right person, i promise good things will come from it. If you ever wanna talk just PM me :) always here

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

I dont take this subject lightly and its a very serious thing, you really need to talk to someone about this, you need to see the cops about it. You NEED to talk to a therapist!!! Youre nightmares are not if you dont, its a traumatic experience! You didnt bring this on to yourself, he is a screwed up SOB. Im just gonna say this, i dont mean to offend or anything or at all... If you were a virgin... he didnt take it away from you and ONLY YOU can give it away. If it matters to you thats the truth about it. Please please, tell someone about this! Its a serious thing and youre 14 and its horrible this happened to you.

[iblameyouforthis]

deleting this

[imless]

Best thing to do in this situation is that never be afraid of telling someone about it, as mentioned above, no one will hate because you are the victim. Case like this seems to grow continually because of the reason "I'm afraid!", I know it is hard but it is the wisest action to do.

[William_Evans]

Thats really horrible