best friend troubles

[Diverperry]

So I've had the same best friend since birth. We went to elementary school together and we go to the the same church. For the past year or two our friendship has become very one sided. If we hang out, it's because I organized it and asked him. I honestly can't remember the last time he asked me to hang out. Recently he has been blowing off our plans for other people. Is it worth having him as a friend if I have to do all the work? Should I give up after all these years? What should I do?

[BrassMonkey]

I kinda know what you are going through. I had a friend who I was friends with for years, but in the last 3 years our friendship faded away. She became negative about everything, she bossed me around, used me for my stuff, and I found out she talked about me behind my back. I tried hanging out with her and stuff, but every time we got around each other for a while, it was always end with an argument. Anyways, I just got tired of it and just didnt have anything else to do with her because I was tired of the madness, which sucked because we had a lot of awesome memories, but It was for the good.

In life, friends come and go, and I have had many friends come and go. When you grow up in the teenage years, most of the time people change who they are. It looks like your friend has changed or something, because if they are blowing off your plans, it seems like he doesnt want have much to do with you. If I were you, I would just let it go even if its hard to do so. There is no need to stress about someone who doesnt want to have anything to do with you. If they want to move on and dont have anything to do with you, then let them be and go on with your life.

[DELETEACCOUNT]

Been there done that got the tshirt! All I did to take things back on track was organise going out for a few days then after a few consecutive days, things went back to normal!

Unsure if this will work with you and your friend but it's worth trying! Good luck!

[blondebeast]

Just try to hang out more...hopefully you can mend you friendship

[dontfiguremeout]

Hmm you are in a pretty tough situation. Because I know for a fact half of you says let him go since he isn't into hanging out with me, but then the other half says no don't let him go because what if he actually does come back. And it always ends up with the "what if" question that kills so many people. And one of my new best friends had the same problem. She has been friends with this one guy for the longest time ever, and ever since he ditched her and started being super mean to her, she started coming to me, and ended up making another best friend. So maybe this is saying this friendship is over, and it's time to move on, and who knows maybe really soon you'll find another amazing friend. Hope this helped!

[ExhibitG]

So I've had the same best friend since birth. We went to elementary school together and we go to the the same church. For the past year or two our friendship has become very one sided. If we hang out, it's because I organized it and asked him. I honestly can't remember the last time he asked me to hang out. Recently he has been blowing off our plans for other people. Is it worth having him as a friend if I have to do all the work? Should I give up after all these years? What should I do?

oh god i know exactly what you're going through. i had the same best friend trouble and honestly at some point you just have to break it off. it sucks because you have an emotional attachment but you have to let go eventually. friendship is a two-way street.

my suggestion would be to talk to him and bring up something like "hey we havent hung out in a while it sucks :(" and see if he shows any care at all. and then say "well text me whenever you wanna hang out and we can do something" or something like that. and if he never does, that's when you have to decide if he's really a true friend anymore.

good luck :)

[Guillermo]

Why don't you just talk to him about it? If you guys are best friends then just confront him about it. Especially about him blowing off your plans to hang with other people. That's not right. If you do end up talking to him, and he still continues to not hang out with you and ditch you for other friends then I'd have to say, it might not be worth being friends with him anymore, but you can always try.

[DanielD210]

I know how you feel Its just apart of life. friendships come and go! I had a friend a few months ago who was my best friend in the whole world at the time. we texted and made plans to hang out all the time and then one day he just stopped replying to my texts and was always busy when I wanted to hang out. needless to say we dont talk or anything anymore which I find depressing. If you feel your friendship is worth it then hang onto it and keep talking to him. A life long friendship shouldn't be let go of so easily! good luck! =)

[wild1]

I hating breaking friendships. I'd rather do most of the work to keep them rather than let them die. But that's just me

[FreeFall]

I was there. My bestie of 5 years suddenly, basically, vanished out of my life. I eventually gave up, it feels better. Friend come and go, she hasn't been replaced but I have moved on. If he questions why you guys never hang out you know exactly why. Your turn now to smile, you go out and make some plans and have some fun (:

[Gordo]

So I've had the same best friend since birth. We went to elementary school together and we go to the the same church. For the past year or two our friendship has become very one sided. If we hang out, it's because I organized it and asked him. I honestly can't remember the last time he asked me to hang out. Recently he has been blowing off our plans for other people. Is it worth having him as a friend if I have to do all the work? Should I give up after all these years? What should I do?

Just wondering if you patched this up or if it continues to slide? I think there are categories of friends in our mind even though we use the term friend or best friend.

To me, a best friend is just that, your best friend. And at any given time you only have one AND you don't switch out besties very often. Between age 9 and 18 you might have a total of 2. The exception is when someone moves away. A best friend is someone who you would probably put before yourself. For people that say they have 3 best friends. I think they are referring to the next category, friends.

I have what I call my inner circle of friends there are 5-6 of them, I see them daily, they come to my house frequently, my best friend is also in that group. The other five know who is my best friend is and that they are my "real" friends that I care about, do stuff for them, look out for them and vice versa.

Then we have acquaintances. A lot of kids confuse them with friends when they say I have about 50 friends. I know hundreds of kids, but they are in this category. I mean I like them and all, but they might live far enough away that I don't see them outside of school, church or parties when I tend to bump into them. I'd guess that they're pretty great and all, but there's only so much time to spend with only so many people.

I feel lucky to have five close friends and one best friend. Maybe fortunate is a better word than lucky. IDK.

My best friend irks me at times times and vice versa. Maybe he's having a bad day, or I want to be left alone or something. let's face it, with your best friend you know exaaaaactly which buttons to push. There are times we didn't talk for a week even though he lives across the street. But here's the thing. After 5 days, there still could have been tension or anger etc, but if he texted me with some problem, like his computer junked out on him or he needed printer paper or his parents aren't home and he's sick, can he come over. He knows all that kinda stuff trumps whatever we got going on between us and that we'll eventually get past it, so there's no reason to not care about them then, when you know you'll care about them in the future.

It might be a little to mushy for straight guys or bi/gay guys that don't wanna be out yet, but I tell or show my best friend I love him every day. It's not some big dramatic thing all the time. Could be just a "luv ya man" , love ya bro, the fist hand gesture. BTW, i'm straight, but I have it in my head that... a man, a real man is comfortable with being real with another person. In fact I think easier to ignore that kind of stuff and be a "man's man", but I really think it takes more guts to let the people you care about, know that you care about them, and then, when they need it, do what needs doin' for them.

So if I were you, I'd be patient. Maybe do nothing is the answer. Maybe ask him if he/she's all right cuz they seem a little more distant or you sense a tension or something. And if they dodge it, they dodge it. You checked in to see what's up and they didn't wanna talk about it, but you made it clear, "it ain't over".

Best of luck to ya man.

[Gazmo]

talk to him about it, and if it carries on then you just have to let go and make new friends, i know its not that simple, but anyway, i had a friend like that and we didnt talk much for a few years becuase it just faded , but we're really close again now. sometimes when you;ve been friend with someone for so long, you need a break from eachother so you can both get your own seperate lives

[LSEagle2]

Just wondering if you patched this up or if it continues to slide? I think there are categories of friends in our mind even though we use the term friend or best friend.

To me, a best friend is just that, your best friend. And at any given time you only have one AND you don't switch out besties very often. Between age 9 and 18 you might have a total of 2. The exception is when someone moves away. A best friend is someone who you would probably put before yourself. For people that say they have 3 best friends. I think they are referring to the next category, friends.

I have what I call my inner circle of friends there are 5-6 of them, I see them daily, they come to my house frequently, my best friend is also in that group. The other five know who is my best friend is and that they are my "real" friends that I care about, do stuff for them, look out for them and vice versa.

Then we have acquaintances. A lot of kids confuse them with friends when they say I have about 50 friends. I know hundreds of kids, but they are in this category. I mean I like them and all, but they might live far enough away that I don't see them outside of school, church or parties when I tend to bump into them. I'd guess that they're pretty great and all, but there's only so much time to spend with only so many people.

I feel lucky to have five close friends and one best friend. Maybe fortunate is a better word than lucky. IDK.

My best friend irks me at times times and vice versa. Maybe he's having a bad day, or I want to be left alone or something. let's face it, with your best friend you know exaaaaactly which buttons to push. There are times we didn't talk for a week even though he lives across the street. But here's the thing. After 5 days, there still could have been tension or anger etc, but if he texted me with some problem, like his computer junked out on him or he needed printer paper or his parents aren't home and he's sick, can he come over. He knows all that kinda stuff trumps whatever we got going on between us and that we'll eventually get past it, so there's no reason to not care about them then, when you know you'll care about them in the future.

It might be a little to mushy for straight guys or bi/gay guys that don't wanna be out yet, but I tell or show my best friend I love him every day. It's not some big dramatic thing all the time. Could be just a "luv ya man" , love ya bro, the fist hand gesture. BTW, i'm straight, but I have it in my head that... a man, a real man is comfortable with being real with another person. In fact I think easier to ignore that kind of stuff and be a "man's man", but I really think it takes more guts to let the people you care about, know that you care about them, and then, when they need it, do what needs doin' for them.

So if I were you, I'd be patient. Maybe do nothing is the answer. Maybe ask him if he/she's all right cuz they seem a little more distant or you sense a tension or something. And if they dodge it, they dodge it. You checked in to see what's up and they didn't wanna talk about it, but you made it clear, "it ain't over".

Best of luck to ya man.



This is well said man, and it sums up just about my life, ahha minus the best friend... Most of my close friends are a year or two apart... the friends my age, really dont talk to me as much. so i fell back on the others, and they really show that they care and they're good friends and other way around. haha

[Agteen]

Ugh I'm sorry! I had the same thing happen in June this year. My friend backstabbed me and talked crap about me behind my back and even organized other people to help him make fun of me. What I did was try to talk it out but rumors were flying around so I decided to make new friends, and hang out more with the ones I had. I find if you kinda ignore that person for a while and they really want to be your friend, they realize what they are missing out on, and they come back. Good luck though!