Poem called 'Small Chav' tell me if it good or not

[rEpReSsIoN.?]

Init the end,
Of the little gangsta,
Small body covered in blud,
Shot in his crib,
His hoes all gone,

Left him to me,
Init funny,
I SHOT HIM!,

U would think...
He would shoot me in the bak,
lol not 2day,

He won't brb,
With a come back,
He will not pimp it up anymore,

No more shit from U!!
No more gd times for u.

(not spell check needed for it meant to be like that)

[Maverick]

I really didn't like it or think it was funny. Could be because we don't have chavs in America. Though I heard they were just like wiggers.

[rEpReSsIoN.?]

yay!!! feedback thank you for your comment
the poem isn't that good i know but its art everyone has their own opinions on art
the point of the poem if that i'm using a sterotypical chav words like 'hoe' and 'crib' and of course 'init'

[Serenity]

yay!!! feedback thank you for your comment
the poem isn't that good i know but its art everyone has their own opinions on art
the point of the poem if that i'm using a sterotypical chav words like 'hoe' and 'crib' and of course 'init'

I realize that you said spell check wasn't needed for the poem, but your posts are making me think that that was just an excuse for not excercising a bit of grammar :P Lol just sayin, it'd make life easier for us [readers] if we didn't have to work so hard to figure out the message you're trying to get across...my 2 cents

And as far as the actual poem goes, I'm sorry but I have to agree with Ant. Yes, everyone has their own opinion of art, but I'm pretty positive that every definition of art includes things like 'depth' and 'emotion.' Art is something that should make people feel and think, not just lines of words that have a few rhymes thrown in. Your poem tells me nothing except that you shot some guy and you think it's funny. It was in no way intellectually or emotionally stimulating, except to anger me a bit at the lack of critical elements stated above.

On another note, I do like the poem you have in your sig. That one does fulfill what I believe are the requirements of a poem, though it is rather cliche.

[rEpReSsIoN.?]

i think i will reply to this one as well
Ok with the grammar, i know i'm not good at grammar thats a good point... but i am dyslexics but i have reading capabilities above my age but not spelling. But im sure the stuff i write down is easy to read anyway even without the grammar ... i'm sure people can just look around stuff like that its not a hard thing to do.
No spell check was used in this poem because the badly spelt lanuage became part of it as if I spoke like a chav with all the avivations.

This poem has emottions in it hatred and revenge if you read it those emotions are hinted at... at the point of writing this poem i was angry at 'chavs' so i covayed it in the poem in a ovious way.

The one in my sig is emo crap and convays nothing important in its message it is not art.

Thank you for your reply i'm sorry if i came off annoyed in this comment i'm not, i'm just trying to improve my work.

I also refuse to edit this comment because i am dyslexics and i had tried to do better at spelling and i have improved greatly and so people can put up with my spelling ...and also i can't be stuffed at the moment i'm sure everyone can read it even with a few spelling mistakes.

[Zazu]

I personally like it, being a brit myself I know of the recent problems with chav / gang culture and I feel it does't reflect recent events well, but I think the ending is a bit too abrubt for my liking, try extending the last stanza to 4 line instead of just 2.

[Serenity]

i think i will reply to this one as well
Ok with the grammar, i know i'm not good at grammar thats a good point... but i am dyslexics but i have reading capabilities above my age but not spelling. But im sure the stuff i write down is easy to read anyway even without the grammar ... i'm sure people can just look around stuff like that its not a hard thing to do.
No spell check was used in this poem because the badly spelt lanuage became part of it as if I spoke like a chav with all the avivations.


It's one thing to talk the way the character talks, but there are times when spelling changes aren't necessary. Like "blud" or "U" or "bak."


This poem has emottions in it hatred and revenge if you read it those emotions are hinted at... at the point of writing this poem i was angry at 'chavs' so i covayed it in the poem in a ovious way.


The only hatred or rage I find in this isn't sincere. It really comes across to me as ignorant arrogance. And I'm not quite sure I understand you- what anger is it you're trying to convey? The anger of the chav, or your anger towards the chav? I can see the former, but not the latter.


The one in my sig is emo crap and convays nothing important in its message it is not art.


Uh huh. Well I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. And if it's crap and conveys nothing important in its message, why are you displaying it for all to see?


Thank you for your reply i'm sorry if i came off annoyed in this comment i'm not, i'm just trying to improve my work.


You're welcome, and you didn't come off annoyed.


I also refuse to edit this comment because i am dyslexics and i had tried to do better at spelling and i have improved greatly and so people can put up with my spelling ...and also i can't be stuffed at the moment i'm sure everyone can read it even with a few spelling mistakes.


I'm not saying you should edit your post, I'm saying that as a poem, a work of art, that should be edited. A piece of writing that has bad grammar simply because you didn't correct it is like...a bicycle without the spokes in the wheels. Sure, it's still a bicycle, but it doesn't really work. If you have trouble with spelling and grammar, ask someone for help, or edit it in a program like MS Word. If you're trying to improve in this area, you can't just throw up your hands and say, "Hey I'm dyslexic so it's just gonna be bad and people will have to deal with it." If you're serious about your writing you'll go to any extra lengths to make your creation the best it can be.

[underoath12192]

I didnt find the poem very entertaining at all. I didnt like it but I will give you props on the poor grammar. That was pretty creative I thought.

[rEpReSsIoN.?]

I'm using some different techniques i have done poem analyzation before and many poets use it (as in incorrectly spelt words to get across their point).

Another point about dylexia... i don't see why i should edit my unformal work if they can we read easily without difficult (formal i mean essays, poems etc, this poem being a exception as i have already stated above). And i have had help with dyslexia and I have dratically improved. Like i always used to spell check every comment into vt but now i can't b bothered as people know what i am saying.