Love Troubles

[The Resurrected One]

Well, I'm sure a lot of you are pissed that I am making a thread for this because I've already talked about it in the shoutbox too much, but the reason I turned it into a thread is because some people told me to.

So, there is this girl I am in love with even though I haven't ever talked to her before, she is just so beautiful that I just can't help loving her. I guess it is called Love At First Sight. Anyway, I have made a letter for her that I am planning to give someone I know to give it to her, and that is because I am too scared to talk to her myself, and hopefully the letter won't go too badly. I won't put the letter here because it is too long, but I would like some info or advice from anyone who wants to reply to this thread about what I should do. I'm planning to get someone to give her the letter, and in the letter it does include me telling her that if she wants to spend time with me, or if she wants to reply to my letter, she could give the reply to the person who gave her my letter. So if she does reply, then I will know she liked the letter and/or she would like to spend time with me, and if I don't hear from her ever again after that, then, well, what could I do?

So I signed the letter as anonymous, but it does have quite a lot of information about me in it, such as my age (grade), which school I now go to (I'm going to a different school this coming year, but luckily, her's is only a block away), and other kinds of stuff about me so she could sort of get to know me through the letter. Also, in the letter I tell her how beautiful she is, and that I really would like to spend time with her and be her friend if it's ok with her. Also in the letter, I tell her why I switched schools (because of the kids), but I don't think it was a good idea for me to add that. So should I take that out?

So the reason I signed it as anonymous was because if the letter goes badly, then I wouldn't want her to know my name because then I know that I would never have a chance with her, then.


What should I do, and is what I'm planning on doing a good idea? So any advice and help would be appreciated. :)

And I'll also add that people have told me to forget about it and move on, but I really don't think I can.


[MERGED - PLEASE USE THE EDIT BUTTON] ~ rok.my.sox

[MoveAlong]

Thanks for making a thread. The shoutbox is for everybody and frankly not many people want to hear all about one person, they just wanna shout and talk with each other and make jokes. No offense :D

Man all I got to tell you is don't assume that it's love. Sure, the whole thing may play out fine. But love is more than looks. I liked this one guy because he was so freakin cute and so freakin nice, although I knew it wasn't gonna work out because 1) I'm gay 2) he doesn't know it and 3) it's just a teen crush - I know that because I barely know the guy

Don't get crushed if you really don't like her or she doesn't want to do anything. You'll know more about the person by talking to them than watching them do anything.
I know how it feels to see a beautiful person and go just about ga-ga over them. But it's something all teens have to live with

You're like, what, 14? Love is the least of your worries. You should worry about sports, working out, your friends, your grades and the fun things your family does together. Don't sell your life to this - because it's 50/50 on whether it's gonna work out or not.

[serial-thrilla]

honestly, i think your chances are alot better if you go up to her and talk to her yourself. although scary i think most girls would really appreciate that you showed some courage to go out of your way to talk to them. You dont have to spill your heart out to her either, she may get a little creeped out if without even really knowing her you tell her you love her. I suggest getting to know her a little better just by simply talking to her before you tell her anything of that manner.

[The Resurrected One]

About what MoveAlong said,

I didn't include this, but I feel like I have no friends right now, and my relationship with my parents aren't too good, I'm saying that about my parents because, well, my mom has a boyfriend, and I feel she cares more about him than about me, and when she sends me to visits my dad, I feel she only does it so SHE can get money. About my dad, I feel he only cares about himself.

So I guess because of problems with having no friends and with family, this is probably why I really am taking this love thing with my sweet girl so very seriously.

And I know I am really young, but I feel really lonely, and I take love seriously. I really want her and I to love eachother very much, I wanna kiss her, I wanna be there for her whenever she needs me, I wanna help her with anything, I wanna make her feel better when she is upset. I promise I will never hurt her. I promise I will treat her with all the caring and all the love I have in me. I just really want her to give me a chance, though. I love her very much, and I can't help it. :(


[MERGED - PLEASE USE THE EDIT BUTTON] ~ rok.my.sox

[MoveAlong]

Ok, but heed my warnings. She probably doesn't have the same feelings for you, and you shouldn't come on too strong. Like I said, don't donate your life to this.

And if you don't have any friends, make friends. I have this problem too - I just have to suck it up and pick up the phone and be friendly when I'm in school. I don't even have a dad - divorce and he left my life around age 8. I'm an only child too, so I get lonely lots.
I had this same problem, I wanted to really love someone, and then I just got over it. But I guess you're gonna have to learn for yourself.

[The Resurrected One]

I just want to get her the letter and see what happens first before I decide anything else.

I will also add that I actually bought a bag of Fortune Cookies a week ago, and I had 3 of them today, and the three messages were:

KEEP YOUR PLANS SECRET FOR NOW (hmm, ok, so I will not say anything about my plans for the girl of my dreams anymore)

YOU WILL BE SOCIALLY SUCCESSFUL (ok, so this is getting good)

WHEN TIME PERMITS, YOUR PERSONAL LIFE WILL BE EXCITING (oh, wow. This is really cool)




So, uh, what does this mean? It seems pretty cool. :)

[MoveAlong]

Yeah it may seem cool, although it's just a few words and they're so broad that they could mean anything (social successful may mean that you're gonna do well in a group, you're gonna become friends with someone, or in your case, you could develop a relationship with that girl)

So I wouldn't rely on it that much.

"When time permits, your personal life will be exciting" may fall on this occasion, or it may mean "something good is going to happen", which is extremely general
"Keep your plans secret for now" - everybody has plans, so this applies to just about everyone in every case

See what I mean? :P

[The Resurrected One]

I'll keep the messages in mind, though.

[serial-thrilla]

i say ditch the note and talk to her yourself. You will look alot more mature if you do.

[The Resurrected One]

But I caaaaan't. I mean, in the letter it does include me apologizing to her for not being able to talk to her myself, so is that good? :)

[serial-thrilla]

why cant you? shes just a girl she isent going to bite. approach her casually and introduce yourself, and maybe chat a little. After talking to her for a little bit you may be able to tell if she likes you or not.

[The Resurrected One]

I have already talked to girls in the past, but it didn't work. BUT I KNOW WHY. I MADE A HUUUUUUUGE MISTAKE.

There was this girl I liked once, and I made the dumbass mistake of sending someone to tell her that I like her, and after that I tried talking to her myself, and she just walked away from me (and she seemed angry).

I don't get girls. Why do they hate you just because you like them?

But what I was planning to do with my current sweetheart was probably better because I would have a letter given to her instead of someone saying words to her that came from me. So the letter would, uh, do you get what I'm trying to say here? :D

[Sage]

With all-due respect..

LETTERS ARE NOT ROMANTIC. THEY ARE RUDE, IMPERSONAL, AND COWARDLY.

Stop saying "i caaant" and just go out there and DO IT. You'll feel better.

[The Resurrected One]

Thanks a lot for your help... *rolls eyes*

And why do you say letters are rude and not romantic???

[Sage]

It's rude because its impersonal, and it's impersonal because it's not you. Besides, no matter how goddamn 'love'-struck you are, she'll just be creeped out that somebody has been watching her for so long in such a lustful manner that things will end horribly. You fail to look at things from 'her' point of view.

It doesn't matter what you think it is, you've got no chance unless you start small, casual, and most importantly, in person.

Now quit playing casanova and please don't respond to my advice with sarcasm. That is very, very rude.

[Serenity]

And why do you say letters are rude and not romantic???

I can understand them not being romantic, but how are letters rude? :-?

[The Resurrected One]

Well, not to make anyone mad or anything, but I'm gonna say that my love for her has grown more into a big obsession, and I feel like I really need her, and I really want her to be with me. Is that wrong?

[The Resurrected One]

Oh, and remember that I go to a different school, so it will be harder for me to talk to her myself either way than just getting her the letter.

[MoveAlong]

Man, I'm worried about you, because you shouldn't be obsessed with someone. This doesn't sound like love because you do not know her. It sounds like a crush and I hope you don't get crushed if she rejects you.

There's no way we can force it on you - you're gonna have to learn for yourself.

[The Resurrected One]

If she rejects me...then it will just crush my heart and I will 'die'.

[marine_sniperman35]

dude...that's not love...not to me no offense. That's more of a drooling crush than it is love. I don't mean to burst your bubble. Love is something different...love is so many things...love is...just...its undescribable. I would know...I'm in it...and I fucking hate it.

Anyways don't do the letter. DO NOT. Why you might ask? BECAUSE IT IS ALMOST CHILDISH!!! Here's what you should try to do. Say you walk by her near someplace and she's talking to a friend...you try to be occupied in whatever you're doing...then burst in on the convo and there u go...a frienship going.

What your doing will result in three reactions from her.
a) ok...
b) Stalker...
c) Dude who is this freak...or...dude I'm getting a restraining order,

Love isn't based off of looks...it's based off of the person you see on the inside. When you're in love you not only see the beauty of her soul...but the beauty of her personality. NEVER EVER EVER BASE LOVE OFF OF SIGHT!! It rarely ever happens

[The Resurrected One]

As I said before, though, I don't go to the same school she does anymore, and I have no idea where she is at lunch, and every day after school, she doesn't stay there, she just goes home, like, 5 minutes after school ends. So in THIS case...what?

[Sage]

As I said before, though, I don't go to the same school she does anymore, and I have no idea where she is at lunch, and every day after school, she doesn't stay there, she just goes home, like, 5 minutes after school ends. So in THIS case...what?

That only reinforces the fact that you barely know her and therefor cannot be taken seriously.

[The Resurrected One]

Well, my heart's feelings for her should be taken seriously. No?

[Sage]

Well, my heart's feelings for her should be taken seriously. No?

You've already proven time and time again that they shouldn't. This is nothing more than a silly teenage crush that you've blown way out of proportion.

[Serenity]

Not if you're misinterpreting them, which I think is very possible. I've seen it happen all too many times [sometimes in myself]- you believe you have these monumentally strong feelings for this amazing person who seems to have been lifted straight out of your greatest dream or fantasy, only to realize a few weeks later that there was never anything there and that you were imagining it.

I think we, as people, want so badly to love and be loved that we sometimes fabricate feelings and attractions in order to satisfy ourselves. You couldn't make a bigger mistake that acting on these pseudo-attractions because soon you will likely find that you have invested your feelings in someone you don't really care about and don't at all know.

My advice: wait to act on anything you're feeling. Get to know her more. You may find that as you do so, you start liking her less and less. This was me a couple months ago- I thought I was smitten with this boy I'd just met, but a week after confessing my feelings to him, I realized I didn't actually know anything about him and didn't really like him at all. It's a really good thing we didn't start dating. So yeah, just try and become her friend first, start building a foundation upon which you may someday be able to build a relationship, or may not. Don't be rash like I and so many other people have been.

[The Resurrected One]

Okay, but here's my plan. I get someone to give her the letter. If it works and she wants to spend time with me and get to know me more, hooray, if not, too bad. But whatever happens, I just wanna take the bet with the letter. So there really is a 50/50 chance now, right?

[Serenity]

Well one of my main issues with your plan is the anonymity. A) very few girls I know would ever respond to an anonymous letter praising their beauty and asking to find out more information about them; b) you're already getting started wrong by not having her choose you as a person. An anonymous letter is just a sheet of paper that could have millions of people behind it- there's no way for her to be sure of who you really are or what you're really like. Anonymity is just never the way to go.

[The Resurrected One]

Thanks to the help of my good friend Steven, I have COMPLETELY edited my letter. Would you like to see it? :D

[serial-thrilla]

your chances are almost zero if you choose to give her the letter. It already shows that your scared and intimidated of her, not really the way you want her to think of you. Asking for help here isent going to do very much good if your planning on writing a letter, none of us can help you if you dont help yourself. I dont know you so i cant stop you from giving her the letter but if you do, then your already not so good chances will probably fall even further. If you do actually love her, which i dont know if i believe you do, you will man up and go talk to her, if you give her the letter your only hurting yourself. Im Not trying to be harsh man, im just being real.

[The Resurrected One]

But I'm tellin' you all, it is COMPLETELY edited, almost completely different. Like, in the letter, I am no longer telling her how beautiful she is or that I wanna spend time with her anymore. However, I do tell her in the letter that I would like to be her pen pal or something like that. If you wanna read my letter (It is a lot shorter than it was because I removed quite some parts), then tell me, and I'll PM it. :)

[serial-thrilla]

sure ill have a read.

[marine_sniperman35]

NO NO NO NO NO NO AND MORE NO'S!!!!! Dude you're just going to freak her out with more letters. TALK TO HER!!!! WALK UP TO HER AND TALK TO HER!!!! Quit this letter thing. Shes going to get the impression that you are just a baby and have a little crush on her than when u actually talk to her.

[The Resurrected One]

I am not going to go up to talk to her, but I will use the letter instead. Final.

[Sage]

For fuck sakes J, why is it that time and time again you act as though my shouts are silent?

We are all sick and tired of hearing you monotonously describe your plan, regardless of our warnings. You're being very dense with us all, why the hell do you post a thread if time and time again you knock us over the head with "I'm going to get the letter to her anyways"?

I'm simply going to say this, because somebody desperatly needs to.

QUIT BEING SO COWARDLY, DENSE, AND PRETENTIOUS ABOUT YOUR MAGICAL PLAN AND GO TALK TO HER.

THE LETTER IS NOT ROMANTIC; IT IS CHILDISH, IMPERSONAL, AND CREEPY.

If you are so sure of this plan, why must you start a fruitless debate while you could be going through with it?

And don't get me started on 'being rude'. There is little more in this world I find more insulting than my opinion being so blatantly ignored. Shame. -_-

[The Resurrected One]

Well, I don't know, and I'll think of it myself. So now, I see no need to continue this thread.

REQUEST LOCK

[Maverick]

I'd just like to remind everyone to be considerate of people's feelings and learn to express your opinion without being unnecessarily rude.

I'm locking this as requested by the thread starter. JNJ, if you decide to change your mind PM me.

[Maverick]

Unlocked as requested by thread starter.

[The Resurrected One]

Yeah, I decided to give it another chance. I don't know why, lol, but I just did. :D