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Xandle
July 6th, 2012, 07:37 PM
I know this is a common question, but I really need some help with it.
I'm 16, male. I went through the idea that I could be gay for a while, but eventually came to the conclusion that I'm actually straight, as I like the idea of being in a relationship with girls and not boys. But now, I'm thinking I could be bi. I know I'm not gay, as I'm attracted to girls and like the idea of being in a relationship with one, but I'm unsure if I feel the same about guys.
As it is, if I see a picture of a hot guy of about my own age, I get turned on. When I jack off, I think of guys, until I climax, and then I think of a girl. I used to feel repulsed by guys after I jack off, but now I'm still turned on by them just after.
I've never had a sexual experience or even a first kiss with either gender, so it can be hard to tell. The only thing close I've done is jacking off side by side with a friend. I really like doing it beside him while it's happening, but straight after I've climaxed, I feel kind of disgusted by the whole thing and that carries on for a day or two afterwards. Maybe I'm not as attracted to guys as I thought, though, as The guy I do that with I was fairly attracted to, until I actually did that with him, and now it goes away for a while every time we do it? For example, I fantasize about giving him a bj, but would never do it in real life. Can anyone share their experiences about that sort of thing and how they felt?
What I'll often do is imagine being in a relationship, both sexual and emotional, with a guy and see how it feels. I've never been in a relationship so I don't know - sometimes it sounds ok, and sometimes I hate the thought. When I think about it with a girl, though, it sounds great, depending on the girl obviously. It's hard to judge, though, as I've never been in a relationship with anyone. Does it only seem more natural to be with a girl because that's what's considered normal?
I also seem to feel more comfortable with the idea of doing sexual things with a normal guy as opposed to a normal girl (i.e. not stupidly hot). But is that only because I'm unfamiliar with the idea of a vagina? I mean, I obviously know what it is and what it looks like, but I've never had the chance to actually see one properly, whereas, being male, I've obviously gotten to terms with the male anatomy. Is it because I don't know what to expect?
Thing is, I don't want to be bi, I want to be straight. I have nothing against people who are gay/bi at all, I have bi friends, it's just that I really want to be normal. Throughout school, I've gone through people calling me gay (apparently I'm camp - I've been compared to Chandler on Friends, who I don't think is very camp at all), and I hated it. They were using it in the derogatory way, which is why I hated it so much (why people use gay as a derogatory word is still a mystery to me).

So yeah. You have no idea how much I appreciate you reading all this. Please help me out - I'm really confused, and really need some clarification.
One more question - if you're straight, when did the "curiosity" stage finish, where you become completely interested in girls and not at all in guys? And how did it feel/how did you know? What was the transition like?

Thank you so, so much :)

Tiggz
July 6th, 2012, 08:34 PM
Ok ill try to help a little as im going through the same thing just a little differently. Up until my first year of highschool i always thought i was str8 but then when i was a freshman i started to question tht i tried to ignore my doubts and it worked of a little bit but then my sophmore year (last school year) i stopped ignoring them and actually tried something with a guy at first i was into it and then after wards i was just disgusted by it which lead me to believe tht i didnt like guys but i always got rid of the feeling and end up doing it again with my friend with the same outcome tht disgusted feeling eventually we stopped (unforseen circumstances) and i had time to think and i thought i had gotten rid of the feelings and i liked only girls well tht wasnt the case i started to find alternative ways to explore the feelings and eachtime i got the same results tht disgusting feeling afterwards. soo my advice here is that its most likeley hormones your goin through puberty and so at the moment it seems great but afterwards you cant stand the thought also ive only been with a girl and ive enjoyed it (ive never done anything but kiss a girl just lips no tounge) and i liked it and enjoyed it and could see myself going longterm with them i can see myself in a physical and emotional relationship with a guy but i can only see it that way for a little bit which again leads me to think its just hormones and puberty. as for the being normal thing theres nothing abnormal about being gay or bi people try to make it seem that way because its not something there used to being gay straight or bi is nothing more than a human triat which is normal cause in all honesty people have been gay since the dawn of time so it is normal. So to wrap this up real quick it dosent matter your lack of what youve done with either sex its just your going through puberty your hormones are all wonky and soo your just in that curious stage but i wouldnt think anything of it. i hope i helped and thanks for reading my long answer :)

Xandle
July 6th, 2012, 08:38 PM
Thanks, that really helped a lot :) I'm just feeling a bit worked up about it all right now :/

Tiggz
July 6th, 2012, 08:43 PM
Lol i know how you feel i felt the same way at first and now i just kinda go one and try not to dwell on it cause in the end im sure it all work out the way its meant to but if you ever want someone to tlk to that understands what your going through than just hit me up i dont mind giving any advice or if u just want to tlk then let me know im always trying to meet new people anyway

Xandle
July 7th, 2012, 07:26 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean - I think it's really easy to over think which kinda makes it worse. You can imagine different scenarios all you want but you can't really replicate real life. Thanks man, I really appreciate it, always good to chat to someone who understands :)

account deleted
July 7th, 2012, 07:58 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean - I think it's really easy to over think which kinda makes it worse.

Over thinking this is no issue. I went through almost the same scenario, but I was 13. Well 1. Being bi is nothing wrong. 2. And I know you don't want to be Bi. 3. It seems like its just a phase, and that's what I went through. I used to not be...attracted, but I liked Hot Guys. And I fantasized a few times, and it stopped after a while. But not understanding the females body is all part of the. mystery and the chase. My experiences may be a little different because I lost my virginity when I was 14, but to my understanding, you want something now. And knowing us guys, we can wait a bit. You wanting guys, is all part of the hormones wanting what we know, and we know penises a lot better than vaginas at this point in our lives, and that's ok. Th feeling and lust will go away at some point, and it's fine that you have not done anything with a girl and it's great to find a guy that still has values. Don't worry dude it'll all be fine.

Top Secret
July 15th, 2012, 12:45 PM
You wouldn't be posting on an internet forum, if you knew.