Xandle
July 6th, 2012, 07:37 PM
I know this is a common question, but I really need some help with it.
I'm 16, male. I went through the idea that I could be gay for a while, but eventually came to the conclusion that I'm actually straight, as I like the idea of being in a relationship with girls and not boys. But now, I'm thinking I could be bi. I know I'm not gay, as I'm attracted to girls and like the idea of being in a relationship with one, but I'm unsure if I feel the same about guys.
As it is, if I see a picture of a hot guy of about my own age, I get turned on. When I jack off, I think of guys, until I climax, and then I think of a girl. I used to feel repulsed by guys after I jack off, but now I'm still turned on by them just after.
I've never had a sexual experience or even a first kiss with either gender, so it can be hard to tell. The only thing close I've done is jacking off side by side with a friend. I really like doing it beside him while it's happening, but straight after I've climaxed, I feel kind of disgusted by the whole thing and that carries on for a day or two afterwards. Maybe I'm not as attracted to guys as I thought, though, as The guy I do that with I was fairly attracted to, until I actually did that with him, and now it goes away for a while every time we do it? For example, I fantasize about giving him a bj, but would never do it in real life. Can anyone share their experiences about that sort of thing and how they felt?
What I'll often do is imagine being in a relationship, both sexual and emotional, with a guy and see how it feels. I've never been in a relationship so I don't know - sometimes it sounds ok, and sometimes I hate the thought. When I think about it with a girl, though, it sounds great, depending on the girl obviously. It's hard to judge, though, as I've never been in a relationship with anyone. Does it only seem more natural to be with a girl because that's what's considered normal?
I also seem to feel more comfortable with the idea of doing sexual things with a normal guy as opposed to a normal girl (i.e. not stupidly hot). But is that only because I'm unfamiliar with the idea of a vagina? I mean, I obviously know what it is and what it looks like, but I've never had the chance to actually see one properly, whereas, being male, I've obviously gotten to terms with the male anatomy. Is it because I don't know what to expect?
Thing is, I don't want to be bi, I want to be straight. I have nothing against people who are gay/bi at all, I have bi friends, it's just that I really want to be normal. Throughout school, I've gone through people calling me gay (apparently I'm camp - I've been compared to Chandler on Friends, who I don't think is very camp at all), and I hated it. They were using it in the derogatory way, which is why I hated it so much (why people use gay as a derogatory word is still a mystery to me).
So yeah. You have no idea how much I appreciate you reading all this. Please help me out - I'm really confused, and really need some clarification.
One more question - if you're straight, when did the "curiosity" stage finish, where you become completely interested in girls and not at all in guys? And how did it feel/how did you know? What was the transition like?
Thank you so, so much :)
I'm 16, male. I went through the idea that I could be gay for a while, but eventually came to the conclusion that I'm actually straight, as I like the idea of being in a relationship with girls and not boys. But now, I'm thinking I could be bi. I know I'm not gay, as I'm attracted to girls and like the idea of being in a relationship with one, but I'm unsure if I feel the same about guys.
As it is, if I see a picture of a hot guy of about my own age, I get turned on. When I jack off, I think of guys, until I climax, and then I think of a girl. I used to feel repulsed by guys after I jack off, but now I'm still turned on by them just after.
I've never had a sexual experience or even a first kiss with either gender, so it can be hard to tell. The only thing close I've done is jacking off side by side with a friend. I really like doing it beside him while it's happening, but straight after I've climaxed, I feel kind of disgusted by the whole thing and that carries on for a day or two afterwards. Maybe I'm not as attracted to guys as I thought, though, as The guy I do that with I was fairly attracted to, until I actually did that with him, and now it goes away for a while every time we do it? For example, I fantasize about giving him a bj, but would never do it in real life. Can anyone share their experiences about that sort of thing and how they felt?
What I'll often do is imagine being in a relationship, both sexual and emotional, with a guy and see how it feels. I've never been in a relationship so I don't know - sometimes it sounds ok, and sometimes I hate the thought. When I think about it with a girl, though, it sounds great, depending on the girl obviously. It's hard to judge, though, as I've never been in a relationship with anyone. Does it only seem more natural to be with a girl because that's what's considered normal?
I also seem to feel more comfortable with the idea of doing sexual things with a normal guy as opposed to a normal girl (i.e. not stupidly hot). But is that only because I'm unfamiliar with the idea of a vagina? I mean, I obviously know what it is and what it looks like, but I've never had the chance to actually see one properly, whereas, being male, I've obviously gotten to terms with the male anatomy. Is it because I don't know what to expect?
Thing is, I don't want to be bi, I want to be straight. I have nothing against people who are gay/bi at all, I have bi friends, it's just that I really want to be normal. Throughout school, I've gone through people calling me gay (apparently I'm camp - I've been compared to Chandler on Friends, who I don't think is very camp at all), and I hated it. They were using it in the derogatory way, which is why I hated it so much (why people use gay as a derogatory word is still a mystery to me).
So yeah. You have no idea how much I appreciate you reading all this. Please help me out - I'm really confused, and really need some clarification.
One more question - if you're straight, when did the "curiosity" stage finish, where you become completely interested in girls and not at all in guys? And how did it feel/how did you know? What was the transition like?
Thank you so, so much :)