CalicoCat
July 1st, 2012, 07:36 PM
Warning this might trigger, I'm not too sure because I'm new to this site and I would like to be as emotionally sensitive as possible.
Since I'd say probably 14 (i'm 20 now), I have had a lot of related experience with eating disorders and it definitely has fluctuated quite a bit. I remember when I was first recognizing that I may have had an eating disorder it was very confusing for me and very painful, and its true it had a lot to do with not feeling in control of your own life. Not getting a long with your mom/dad's new spouse, not getting enough attention from one parent, being bullied etc.. The very many aspects of it could go on. At first it was almost like finding a whole other portal into a different realm of oneself, a chance to be happy and feel like for once something was going your way.. At least thats how I felt and I know it varies from person to person. It got severe up until the point where I got my first boyfriend at 16 and then it slowly passed for me.. I started to eat better and gained some weight respectively.. To be honest I barely even noticed how it changed so rapidly, it just sort of crept up on me and my self esteem seemed to get better and better. Then a couple of years passed when I was 18 and it sank way down because it was the tail end of that relationship that had gone very sour and abusive. I had stopped eating and was starting to take heavy drugs. From that point, I got a little bit better after a few months and then I met my current partner. We live together but the past year and a half I would say that we have been together hadn't always been easy (even though he's an amazing individual) We both did heavy drugs and because I'm older now and don't live under my parent's roof I was allowed to run rampant with my ideals and pretty much live whatever lifestyle I chose. Soon my drug use didn't become an addiction it was just another method of coping with my eating disorder that had been laying dormant for over 6 years and exploded in my face in my early 20s. I am much better now though (best part of the whole story here) My partner and I have overcome a very many obstacles together and we are some of the dearest of friends, I don't use hard drugs anymore and I'm on a better eating cycle. I try every morning to look at myself in the mirror and say one good thing about myself, I have been doing it for a long time now and its helped more than one would think. I guess I just keep reading lots of post about how hard of time some of you are going through and if it sounds cliche but I never thinking caring is a cliche.. It really just erks my heart and to know that so many people are still suffering all alone, regardless if they read this or not.. Still believing that there is no one else who really sees and understands them. There are and things will always get better, nothing and no one ever stays the same.
If you want to talk to me about something you are going through thats awesome too, I really just stumbled upon this site and thought it was a really wonderful way of helping other people as well as myself get through tough things!
Since I'd say probably 14 (i'm 20 now), I have had a lot of related experience with eating disorders and it definitely has fluctuated quite a bit. I remember when I was first recognizing that I may have had an eating disorder it was very confusing for me and very painful, and its true it had a lot to do with not feeling in control of your own life. Not getting a long with your mom/dad's new spouse, not getting enough attention from one parent, being bullied etc.. The very many aspects of it could go on. At first it was almost like finding a whole other portal into a different realm of oneself, a chance to be happy and feel like for once something was going your way.. At least thats how I felt and I know it varies from person to person. It got severe up until the point where I got my first boyfriend at 16 and then it slowly passed for me.. I started to eat better and gained some weight respectively.. To be honest I barely even noticed how it changed so rapidly, it just sort of crept up on me and my self esteem seemed to get better and better. Then a couple of years passed when I was 18 and it sank way down because it was the tail end of that relationship that had gone very sour and abusive. I had stopped eating and was starting to take heavy drugs. From that point, I got a little bit better after a few months and then I met my current partner. We live together but the past year and a half I would say that we have been together hadn't always been easy (even though he's an amazing individual) We both did heavy drugs and because I'm older now and don't live under my parent's roof I was allowed to run rampant with my ideals and pretty much live whatever lifestyle I chose. Soon my drug use didn't become an addiction it was just another method of coping with my eating disorder that had been laying dormant for over 6 years and exploded in my face in my early 20s. I am much better now though (best part of the whole story here) My partner and I have overcome a very many obstacles together and we are some of the dearest of friends, I don't use hard drugs anymore and I'm on a better eating cycle. I try every morning to look at myself in the mirror and say one good thing about myself, I have been doing it for a long time now and its helped more than one would think. I guess I just keep reading lots of post about how hard of time some of you are going through and if it sounds cliche but I never thinking caring is a cliche.. It really just erks my heart and to know that so many people are still suffering all alone, regardless if they read this or not.. Still believing that there is no one else who really sees and understands them. There are and things will always get better, nothing and no one ever stays the same.
If you want to talk to me about something you are going through thats awesome too, I really just stumbled upon this site and thought it was a really wonderful way of helping other people as well as myself get through tough things!