I'm having a panic attack because a girl likes me

[delaney1414]

HI :D .
So, i'm gay and i'm also very good friends with this girl,
we hang out at school we like the same kind of music, jokes, even youtube videos and I always thought she might like me a little, but the other day during maths at school my friend who sits behind me (Abby) randomly said "Do you like Jemma? (The girl that likes me)".
I kind of ignored it and just assumed she asked because we are always together and making jokes but then Abby sent me a message on facebook saying "Hey, not trying to make things awkward, but do you like Jemma? Because it seems like you do".
Again I ignored it and then she sent me another message saying "Wait, I think you told me in maths that you did, didn't you? Well anyway I think you should ask her out, you two would be cute together and besides, she likes you, too."
Again I ignored it.
I think she became a little frustrated at me ignoring her and sent me this
"PLEASE JUST ASK HER OUT JOSH (ME) JEMMA PUT ME UP TO THIS AND PUT ALL HER TRUST IN ME BECAUSE SHE REALLY REALLY LIKES YOU A LOT AND I DON'T WANT TO LET HER DOWN I JUST EANT TO BE THE BEST FUCKING WINGMAN IMAGINABLE AND I WANT TO LIVE UP TO MY PROMISE ;A; but you have to admit, you would be a lot happier with her, wouldn't you?
Please don't tell her I blurted all of this out but it's just such a frustrating thing to do".
And now I don't know what to do and i'm starting to feel a little nervous and sick to the stomach.
After reading the message from Abby, Jemma sent me a message saying "JOSH!!! I need to tell you something".
And now I feel really bad.
I would tell her that i'm gay but i'm not ready to tell people and shes REALLY bad at keeping secrets and I don't want to tell her i'm not interested because that would ruin our friendship and I just feel really bad because I am attracted to her mentally and emotionally (to some extent) but even the thought of us just kissing makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't want to just go out with her because thats not fair on her.

Please help I don't know what to do.

[Wonder.]

You don't really have another choice than to decline any romantic relationship she tries to start. Like you said, it wouldn't be fair to her. You don't have to tell her you're gay - tell her only when you feel comfortable about it. Tell her that you're just not interested in being in a relationship right now. If she's not completely ignorant, she'll understand. Just choose your words carefully because it's easy to seem disrespectful when you're not trying to be when it comes to things like this.

[ImCoolBeans]

You don't really have another choice than to decline any romantic relationship she tries to start. Like you said, it wouldn't be fair to her. You don't have to tell her you're gay - tell her only when you feel comfortable about it. Tell her that you're just not interested in being in a relationship right now. If she's not completely ignorant, she'll understand. Just choose your words carefully because it's easy to seem disrespectful when you're not trying to be when it comes to things like this.

This is good advice.

It wouldn't be very fair to her to go through with it, and you certainly won't be happy. You need to do what's in your best interest, but be kind while telling her that you are not interested. As TickTockClock said, choose your words carefully and just keep in mind that she has feelings too.

[whiteyrhys]

Hay Josh,
I have had a friend that’s gone through something similar to this recently – he’s bisexual but leans more towards guys and a girl started to become attracted to him and he didn’t know what to do.
The advice I gave to him and the same I’m going to give to you is don’t try to keep others happy at your unhappiness (if that makes sense)
TickTockClock is right. You will have to decline a romantic relationship but be careful as to the words you use, don’t let her know over the internet or through a text because your message may be misinterpreted and it’s very impersonal.
I recommend – if you’re comfortable with this is arrange some time alone together. This could be either at lunchtime at school or even after school. Go somewhere peaceful and sit down and just talk to her – explain your feelings and thoughts (only let her know you’re Gay if you’re comfortable) you’re good friends with her and you don’t want it to affect your friendship with her. She’ll understandably be hurt but that’s why you’re there in person because if she needs a hug you’re there to give her one!
Let us know how it goes, we’re always here if you need help! :)