parents?

[WiiRemoter]

So I really want to come out to my parents, but every now and then my dad makes these homophobic comments (fag, queer, etc...) and I'm just nervous that if I tell them, he'll either 1. ignore me, 2. kick me out of the house, 3. never see me as his son again. Any advice/stories from ppl with a similar situation?

[RayRay]

Well I dobt really have experience with that but if i was you i would wait because of the whole with your dad. Mabe you can sort of try to change his perspective on gays or something.

[Gandalf]

So I really want to come out to my parents, but every now and then my dad makes these homophobic comments (fag, queer, etc...) and I'm just nervous that if I tell them, he'll either 1. ignore me, 2. kick me out of the house, 3. never see me as his son again. Any advice/stories from ppl with a similar situation?

Maybe you could speak to your mum alone first? Otherwise it may be best to wait, do it when your ready to accept any possible consequences (only when you feel ready, but you seem like you are), preferably if it safe to do so, I wish I had the confidence to do the same.

Hope I've helped.

[Ender]

I think about telling them every day. I'm scared. My sister finally found out, and shew wants me to tell them. But, I"m not ready. It'll happen when it happens. No need to rush.

[Nellerin]

No need to rush into telling them. Because your dad sounds very ignorant then I wouldn't tell him just yet but tell him sometime later on when it feels right. Or never tell him, it is up to you.

[OregonStateDude]

My dad isn't the most open-minded guy, so yeah, I don't plan on telling him anytime soon. With my mom, if I can convince her that I did not choose to be gay, then I think it will be okay.

Luckily for me, I plan on playing Freshman baseball next year, so my dad shouldn't suspect a thing. :)

[Tiggz]

Maybe you could speak to your mum alone first? Otherwise it may be best to wait, do it when your ready to accept any possible consequences (only when you feel ready, but you seem like you are), preferably if it safe to do so, I wish I had the confidence to do the same.

Hope I've helped.

yea i think it would be best to tlk with your mom first (when your ready) and then maybe tell your day you know to kinda have someone on your side to help you break the news to your dad

[Cognizant]

I told my father yesterday. He told me he loved me and thanks for telling me. He also made comments like that.

I guess it's just the way parents work; if your child is like that, accept it.
Don't worry about it, you're fine and no need to rush if you're not ready. :-).

[All The Small Things]

cool dude what postion do u play

but sorry that u cant come out to parents

[NotYourSombrero]

You can come out to your mom first and/or wait till your own your own and can support yourself before you tell him.

[Eric57]

I was in the exact same position as you are now when I wanted to come out.

First off, my advice to you is to come out to them when you are ready. Not because others think you should do it, not because you feel pressured, and not because you think it's just something you need to do right away. Do it when you feel comfortable and when you are ready. I wouldn't ever advice a gay man/woman to come out before they are ready.

Second, I say come out to your mom first. That is exactly what I did. My dad is very conservative and he doesn't believe that being gay is normal. So I told my mom first. She was perfectly okay with it. I talked to her about telling my dad and she said to just not tell him right now and we'll figure a way to tell him later.

It was maybe a couple months later and we finally told him. Luckily for me, he didn't care. He said that it's not something he really agrees with, but he still loves me and that he will always support me, even if it's not something he agrees with.

Honestly, even if your dad does say ignorant things like that, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Unless you know for a fact that your dad is 100% against gay people and thinks it's disgusting, not natural, and hates them, I wouldn't worry. For the most part, all parents just want their children to be happy.

But like I said, don't come out until you are ready. There is nothing worse than coming out when you aren't ready for it. And come out to your mom first and maybe you guys can find a way to tell your dad. Good luck!

[ImCoolBeans]

I wrote this thread filled with advice/things to keep in mind for people who are thinking about coming out. It's filled with peoples stories, some about coming out to parents too, and how they went about doing it. I hope it helps.

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=134627

[SamB]

Before I came out my mum did the same, well she still does sometimes :/, but now that they know both my mum and dad have dealt with it and accept it for what it is. Your parents are there to love you and look after you when you are weak, they will love you no matter what your sexuality is because you are their son and they brought you into this world.

[whiteyrhys]

Hi dude,

I don’t want to seem out of place here but the fact that he makes those comments makes him seem very small minded.

I don’t have a similar story but a few times (in an incredibly awkward situation) I was told by my dad that he doesn’t care what I am which is encouraging but I just don’t want to confirm I am indeed gay.

Usually a mother figure understands more, have you thought about telling her? It could make you feel better knowing that one of your parents knows!

Good luck man!

[West Coast Sheriff]

Wait till ur older

[crisel]

Let your father knows. Yes, he may ignore you, kick you out of the house or never see you as his son again but at least he already knows what's the real you. Weather he likes it or not, you're still be his son no matter what.

[guycuberguy]

I think that a father will never hate his child
I am gay to i came out the last three day to friends but not to my parents if you feel comfortable with do it i am embarrassed to tell even i know that they'll accept me but those that i already told them says that i am young and you too i feel it wont change but i give it a chance so what i am saying is dont hurry up to tell the world
Take your time you are only 15 you can be confused even if you are100% sure about your sexuality

[HOLEinyoursoul]

And if they feel that way (wanting to kick you out, ignoring you, never see you as their son etc) they don't deserve you. Parents should love their children no matter what and if they choose not to because of who you love, it's on them not you. I'm still not really out to my parents but my mom has hinted to it several times and before then I dreaded being kicked out and being unloved (well by my mom at lease, my dad lost interest in me YEARS ago) Odds are it'll be awkward for a bit but they'll have to get used to it at some point.

[iLove Justin Bieber]

I don't think you should tell them as personally I think the chances most parents will not take it well is high.

[Foamy]

Try coming out to friends first so you can build up your confidence and say that "all my friends know already"