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xXoblivionXx
June 22nd, 2012, 10:26 PM
I feel like shit, I probably only had 500 calories today. I feel so dizzy and nauseous. I went to an amusement park and went on two roller coasters, my blood is rushing to my head. I don't really want to have an ED and I don't think I really have an ED. I feel so horrible and fatigue but I'm so fat and ugly, I don't deserve to eat, I can't eat. I feel like I'm going to faint but if I do my mom is going to make me go to the hospital because she knows that I haven't really eaten all day. I'm scared. I feel like horrible and it's all my fault :(
Emperor Penguin
June 22nd, 2012, 10:40 PM
Ok, seeing as my posts have been deleted. I'll say this kinder:
Eat a good healthy meal instead of no meal at all. It will benefit you more.
Edit: It's ok baby, beauty is on the inside! Who cares about your external appearance! Just accept yourself for who you are, and everyone else will too.
xXoblivionXx
June 22nd, 2012, 10:57 PM
Could you please just stop?
Emperor Penguin
June 22nd, 2012, 10:59 PM
I'm sorry..I was trying to cheer you up. :(
xXoblivionXx
June 22nd, 2012, 11:08 PM
I'm sure you had good intention but I'm depressed and you're not helping :/ thanks though.
Desuetude
June 23rd, 2012, 07:37 AM
Hey I know you're finding it difficult but 500 calories isn't enough to live on, did you know that to lose weight you should eat 1500 of the right foods. Fruit and veg tend to be negative calorie foods, why not eat lots of them? Just, eat something, a little more at a time. Go from 500 to 550, you can do this. Eating gives you energy and although it might make you feel bad mentally it makes you feel better physically.
xXoblivionXx
June 23rd, 2012, 11:20 AM
(this may be a trigger :/ )

I don't know Nikki. I weighed myself this morning and I lost 4 pounds since yesterday morning (for the most part the variables were the same) Know I just want to keep starving myself because it works :(
Desuetude
June 24th, 2012, 07:15 AM
(this may be a trigger :/ )

I don't know Nikki. I weighed myself this morning and I lost 4 pounds since yesterday morning (for the most part the variables were the same) Know I just want to keep starving myself because it works :(
It 'works'. It's not giving you energy, it's making you even more unhappy and depressed, fatigued, overall it just makes everything seem so much more negative and bad than things actually are. It might make you lose weight but if you put one smidgin of that weight back on then it will hit you even harder than before.

You don't have to lose this weight, you can be happy, happier than you are now. It takes time, don't expect everything to sort itself out straight away. It's not a bad thing to eat, I've seen you say that you don't deserve to but you do. Just take it one step at a time, it's okay to relapse, just like with cutting. What's important now is that you pick yourself back up again, tell yourself you can do it because you can. Don't drop back down that hole again.