Did I say that? Or ws it just a thought

[Gandalf]

Lately I've been having difficulty telling the difference between my thoughts and what I'm saying and I hear over and over again in my head "Did I just say that" (followed by rational and unrational possible consequences it could have. Then that's when I realise I can't tell if I actually said it.

For example, I was about to get on the bus, I saw the driver and a rude word came straight into my head, then when I had found a seat I thought, did I say that? (I am fairly sure with that that I hadn't because I finished the journey without incident.

Somehing doesn't seem right up there. Another example, is I was talking in the phone anand the other person asked why we split up (refferring to my now ex girlfriend) and I said something (I can't even remember what I said) and now for some strange reason I've got it into my head that I said "I'm gay" (which could put me in an awkward position if that's what slipped out, wether I meant it or not.


please ignore my bad spelling, that was because I am using my phome and it's hard to correct.



As alway's I appreciate the help. I don't know what to do either, I haven't got the confidence to seek proffessional help and I don't know if they would take it understand anyway. :(

[Gandalf]

I'm sorry to bump especially since I only posted this yesterday, but my brain feels like it's boilling and I forgot to mention I feel like I'm being watched when I'm in public. @#%&&# <that represents crap that is going through my brain at hyper sonic speeds Because it just turns to jibberish.

[Axw_JD]

I'm not sure about the not knowing if you say something or just thought about it... but it occurs to me that you might have something that you are working so hard to hide (like being bi) that you are constantly self-monitoring everything you do and say...

[Gandalf]

I'm not sure about the not knowing if you say something or just thought about it... but it occurs to me that you might have something that you are working so hard to hide (like being bi) that you are constantly self-monitoring everything you do and say...

I'm pretty sure people have worked it out, I don't go to any extreme length to hide it anymore (with the exception of my family, just the way I am) but it's the fact I feel like I'm being watched and I can't tell the difference between my thoughts and actions. It's like I'm not in control. Yet I can't tell anybody because they will say I'm being stupid and confusing being very self concious with being paranoid. I'm shaking now and I can't control that either.


Thanks, but to summarise I'm sure my sexuality has nothing to do with it.
So that still leaves me with the point of what do I do?

[Lolli]

How are you sleeping? I do same when I'm tired

[ShaneSawyer]

I had a something similar a few years back. Idk if this applies to you, but sometimes when I thinks, I can think about another thing while I am thinking, like overlapping my thoughts I guess. And a few years back, the second "voice" (I don't hear things I swear, I just think to much) kept saying 'you're gay' all the time. It sucked but eventually I guess I just outlasted it or something so it stopped!

[Gandalf]

How are you sleeping? I do same when I'm tired

Never thought about it, I don't know because for the last two-three weeks up until last night I had irregular sleeping patterns due to having no school, but I do have strange dreams lile one where I had a dream that our cat had died. :(

I had a something similar a few years back. Idk if this applies to you, but sometimes when I thinks, I can think about another thing while I am thinking, like overlapping my thoughts I guess. And a few years back, the second "voice" (I don't hear things I swear, I just think to much) kept saying 'you're gay' all the time. It sucked but eventually I guess I just outlasted it or something so it stopped!

That is very much similar, my thoughts are alway's disagreeing except one is either self loathing or rude and the other is rational me. The one I prefer.