I guess I've joined the club?

[CleoP]

Another thing I never thought I would do. I cut myself tonight, and I have been the past few nights. I don't know why, I just get the urge to and I have to. Especially when I'm feeling upset. But sometimes when I'm not, I just do it anyway.

I wanted to tell someone, but no one in my life would really get it. So I'm telling all of you. I hurt myself, I cut my arm with a little jackknife that my parents thought it would be good to get me (a little ironic, if you ask me). Not usually deep enough to bleed, but enough to have a constant reminder of what I did to myself.

I don't know why I did it, or why I can't stop, or what I'm supposed to do now. Please, please don't tell me to go to a therapist, because I'm currently on the waiting list to go to one. I need help about what to do in the mean time. How do I go on?

--CleoP

[StoppingTime]

Between now and then, distract yourself. Start a big project you've always wanted to do. Write a song, draw, run, swim, anything that you enjoy. Keep a diary, and read it when you are able to see a therapist. Your feelings will go on paper, and not your arms.

[CleoP]

Thank you, Steven. Maybe I'll try that.

Just a few more questions, if anyone can answer them?

Why do I want to do it again?
And how do I explain why I do it to people?

Thanks. I've never done it in the past until now.

[Mortal Coil]

Please, stop before you get even more addicted. You can do this. If you need to cut, try rubbing an ice cube over the spot where you want to cut.

[CleoP]

Okay, so this may seem really stupid, but I don't want to stop. It makes me feel better. WTF is that?

[LoveMe_HateMe]

It's an addiction. No one can really explain the why's and how's. It's just... A relief I guess. But in all honesty, if you've only just started doing it... PLEASE don't carry on. Stop while it's still possible. Don't get drawn into it like so many of us have. It really isn't worth it. If I had someone come up to me 2/3 years ago and told me what it does to yourself, to your self-esteem, to your friends, family. I would've listened to them and not done it.

It really isn't worth it. I saw my parents cry because of what I did/do to myself. I've lost all of my friends because me cutting has made me push others away. Right now, I can honestly say that I only have one true friend, and that's my partner.

I'm sorry to say this but if you carry on and don't stop while you still have the chance it will only get worse, to the point where you don't give a damn about whether or not you stop cutting, whether or not you end up in hospital. Seriously please don't carry on the path that you are on now. You still have the chance to change your future, you're still young enough.

[CleoP]

Okay. I decided I'm not going to do it tonight. Wish me luck...

[xXoblivionXx]

Good luck! I know you can do it :D *hug*

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Good luck hun, let us know how it goes :)