What did I do wrong?

[Princess Ariel]

Y'know. I really hate making new threads. It just proves to myself how fucking worthless I am. I keep on trying to recover, to try different things.. nothing works out in the end. Nothing should. It'll just be a waste. I told myself a couple weeks ago that i'm going to recover. I'm going to make it a year without any self-harm. Yeah well, what's the likelihood of that happening? Slim and none. I can barely make it to day one without relapsing harder than the last.
I just want to be skinny. I hate that feeling when I walk on the floor and the ground shakes around me. I'm tired of counting calories. I'm just so fucking tired. Summer's here and we're heading into a heatwave which means short sleeves and Shorts.
I'm not so worried about the arms since they've kinda faded... but I can't even bare shorts when i'm home alone.
I just want someone to care. No one cares no matter how good or crappy i'm feeling. No one gives a fuck. I just feel as if i'm on this earth purely for the reason for people to use me. Use me for a friend. Use me for a shoulder to cry on and not have to give anything in return. I'm always helping people.. Whether it's on facebook, skype, person... ect.. But nothing is given in return. If I never leave my house again, go online. I bet nobody would notice. I'm just a fucking ghost drifting through the halls and streets.
I'm a worthless, ugly bitch.
I've broken too many mirrors to count. Most recently today. I want to get better.. I guess.. But I know it'll never happen.
meh.
I don't know why I try. Nothing ever works out in the end..
I'm going to fail all my classes. I'm never going to graduate. argh..
What did I do so wrong to have this shitty life?
I'm constantly told about my poor spelling, grammar, looks.. this and that. As if I don't know that already.
I know i'm a failure. I'm a failure at life. Failure at living. Failure at everything.

[Thunderstorm]

I'm sorry you feel this way. But you're not worthless. we want you here. We NEED you here. You inspire others more than you think. God put your here because he wanted you to fulfill a journey, and it's your choice if you want to take that journey.
Someone is out there who really needs you. Who really has your back. Who will really never leave you. they're your soul mate. Furthermore, if you leave what will they be? Nothing more than a ghost of the halls wandering the streets as nothing. This world NEEDS you.
You don't need to listen to the haters. The haters are your motivators. They are worhtless. they will turn out to be nothing when they are older. You WILL BE SOMETHING! You will be succesful. Today, I learned at the last school day of the year in an assembly something special.... that the key to succes is Education. the key to your life is Education. The key is looking towards the stars. Use everything you've gone through as a motivator and think "Someone out there needs me....they are more than a person they are part of my soul. SoulMate."
And I'd like to leave you off with two things. 1. A qoute:
" Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation."
2. A story. on my friend's blog, is a post. She posted something very moving and touching. A kid in her school attempted suicide (although she said they had a ceremony for him, so he might have died.) Then, a popular girl stood up to the bullies who bullied that kid and told them off. this post on Facebook is now very famous. Her is is. I'm also giving you the link to her inspirational blog:
So you want to kill yourself? Because no one cares about you. Your family hates you, right?No. Your parents walk in your room in the morning & find a dead body. They’ll try their hardest to not think negative, & just think you’re fooling around. They’ll start to shake you. Why aren’t you breathing? They’ll be broken. Tears. Many tears. More tears than you ever shed. Was it..them? Were they the reason you did this?More tears. Pain. Every night. Every day. Every single second of every day. Guilt. More guilt. What about your bestfriend? They won’t care, right? No. What’s the first thing that’ll go through their mind when the principal comes in to tell your class that you’re not alive? While your bestfriend sits there in tears, that girl that you’d never talked to, but smiled at, is in tears too. The boy who used to kick you under the table just to annoy you, he’ll be shocked. Devestated. He’ll blame himself. What about your teacher? Thoughts crossing her mind. She’ll question if you did it because she didn’t make you feel comfortable in school. Pain. Devestation. All in one. Who organizes your funeral? Who has to go through your stuff?Clothes. Notes. All of it. See, if you kill yourself, you’ll never know what might happen tomorrow. Because you’re dead. Not breathing. Not alive. Just dead. Your family hates themselves for it. Your bestfriend falls into a depression. Tears. Tears. Then more tears. Then a river. All because you killed yourself because you thought no one would care, right? You are loved. By many. Someone right now is thinking about you. You are beautiful. No matter if you’re black, white, homosexual, tall, short, overweight, or anorexis. You are beautiful. There’s no coming back if you do this. & I promise you, if you do this, you are not only hurting yourself, you are hurting many. You are creating more tears than you led yourself to. You are making them all feel guilt & pain. Never will they feel whole like they used to when they had you. You are beautiful. & you are NEVER alone.
http://sunshinegurly.wordpress.com/

[Breakeven]

You are not worthless ,i dont know what you go throu but i can tell ur amazing for tying ,u try thats all it matters coz deep inside u want to stop , you are beautiful the way you are , u don't need to be skinny to be pretty hun , you are stunning the way you are , if you think no one cares that's not true coz I CARE!, i know your alive for a reason , god gave u life because you are strong enough and you can stop just keep trying <3 keep holding on beautiful :hug:
sweetie u know i am here if you need someone to talk to :)

[Mortal Coil]

Casey, listen to me. I know it doesn't sound true at all, but you aren't worthless in the least. Nor are you fat. I would kill to be as skinny as you. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that I believe in you. But you need to have faith in you too. You can get through this. And that's what VT is for: to help you get through it.