botwa
June 18th, 2012, 06:47 AM
Hello!
To begin with I want to say that I live with grandmother and grandfather and they have raised me so they are literally like my mother and father. I don't have any other relatives who are so close to me.
So my grandfather has a drinking problem. He used to drink every day several years ago and once it happened so that he couldn't stop. And that was the start of his drinking bout. It was really hard for my grandmother and me but we helped him to break it. He didn't drink for about a year and we thought that everything was OK then.
But last summer he went to our house in the countryside that is about 1000 km away from us so we couldn't be around. He was supposed to prepare it before we come because we go there only once a year. But since he arrived there we lost any connection with him and couple of days later found out from the neighbors that he drinks constantly and can't stop, that he broke his arm and hurt his head. It was another drinking bout.
It happened so that my grandmother couldn't go because she couldn't take time off at work so I went there myself. And with the help of our neighbors (and doctors of course) I helped him to break that drinking bout.
It was all OK after then, he doesn't drink but I don't feel like I still love him.
I'm totally indifferent towards him and it really scares me. I can't be the same with him anymore. I just don't want to be related to him. We just exist next to each other at the same house and that's all.
But he still loves me and sometimes I feel guilty that I don't feel this way too, that I just don't care anymore. I used to love him so much before it all happened although he used to drink everyday. But I hated only moments when he was drunk.
what should I do?
It feels bad because I don't think that I can pretend that I'm the same as I used to be before it all started. I feel like he betrayed us, he stole money from us to buy alcohol even though he knew that we didn't get much, he was a completely different person. so miserable and disgusting!
To begin with I want to say that I live with grandmother and grandfather and they have raised me so they are literally like my mother and father. I don't have any other relatives who are so close to me.
So my grandfather has a drinking problem. He used to drink every day several years ago and once it happened so that he couldn't stop. And that was the start of his drinking bout. It was really hard for my grandmother and me but we helped him to break it. He didn't drink for about a year and we thought that everything was OK then.
But last summer he went to our house in the countryside that is about 1000 km away from us so we couldn't be around. He was supposed to prepare it before we come because we go there only once a year. But since he arrived there we lost any connection with him and couple of days later found out from the neighbors that he drinks constantly and can't stop, that he broke his arm and hurt his head. It was another drinking bout.
It happened so that my grandmother couldn't go because she couldn't take time off at work so I went there myself. And with the help of our neighbors (and doctors of course) I helped him to break that drinking bout.
It was all OK after then, he doesn't drink but I don't feel like I still love him.
I'm totally indifferent towards him and it really scares me. I can't be the same with him anymore. I just don't want to be related to him. We just exist next to each other at the same house and that's all.
But he still loves me and sometimes I feel guilty that I don't feel this way too, that I just don't care anymore. I used to love him so much before it all happened although he used to drink everyday. But I hated only moments when he was drunk.
what should I do?
It feels bad because I don't think that I can pretend that I'm the same as I used to be before it all started. I feel like he betrayed us, he stole money from us to buy alcohol even though he knew that we didn't get much, he was a completely different person. so miserable and disgusting!