dottiepop15
June 16th, 2012, 02:24 PM
So I cut myself today for the first time in months.I felt like I couldnt stop.My arm s covered in hundreds of vertical cuts on my left arm.I couldnt get enough.Its like there was always empty skin.Like always a spot to add another cut.it kept bleeding and I kept cutting.it was so effortless.just cut after cute and I honestly felt no pain at all.nothing.The whole time I was doing this i was taking pictures every few cuts.I kept telling myself Id make a video and post in online so people can see the painful effects of self harm.I just took picture after picture as it kept bleeding I kept cuting not feeling anything the whole time.No almost 2 hours away the high I had from cuting is worn away.After I got done I felt so good more happy then I had been in a long time.Now its gone and I want to cut more.My left arm couldnt take anymore cuts.It would just be cut on top of cut.I could start on another part of my body but I really dont want to.I want to feel okay but I cant right now.Listening to music that justifies and supports mutilation and suicide isnt helping but its the only thing that is making me feel normal right now.I just need to vent or something.I just need to get it out.So now I have hopefully it will make me feel better.