Should I tell?

[Listed MIA]

Hey. i'm kind of new here. i don't want to tell my whole life story but some pretty bad stuff happened to me recently. i've been going to counselling for PTSD. i suppose it is helping a bit.

there's this other thing that happened to me when i was 10. it wasn't really REALLY bad, but it shouldn't have happened. it mostly makes me angry when i think about it tbh. its not like i think about it all that much either. its just that when it happened it was in my bed room, and my cat was in there too. this guy grabbed my cat and said if i ever told anyone he would kill the cat. i was 10 and that really upset me because our other cat just died a couple of days before that. so of course i wasn't going to tell anyone because i didn't want anything bad to happen to the cat. well, about a week later the cat got hit by a car and died. it was probably a random accident but i keep thinking, what if it was him? thats actually more upsetting to me than the stuff he did to me.

i was thinking, since i am in counselling now maybe i should bring it up? i kind of want to tell my dad since it was his friend that did it. but i'm not sure what the point of bringing it back up again is. i kind of just want to say it. i think i just want someone to tell me it wasn't my fault about the cat. i know that probably sounds crazy, but i do feel like it was my fault. if i say it in counselling maybe they will want to tell the police? i'm waiting for a trial date from the other stuff that happened and i don't want to do it all again. especially when its 5 years later and there is no evidence or anything. yeah, and my dad will probably be crazy upset about it. he's already partly crazy and i don't want to push him over the edge into full-on-crazy.

sorry, this is a pretty long way of asking whether you think i should tell or just leave it in the past.

(I posted an update in post #12)

[Desuetude]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that, however bad it was or that you viewed it as you're right, it shouldn't have happened. It's obviously been on your mind and maybe it would help talking about it, sorting out your thoughts and letting someone else in can be a massive weight off your shoulders. It can't be easy to keep something like that, maybe it's time to let someone know? The fact that it makes you angry isn't good, and of course, you have a right to be. Telling your Dad shouldn't make you feel guilty, you have a right to let people know, it's amazing just posting it on an anonymous website.

You have time, in my opinion I think you should talk to your counsellor but you should go along with whatever makes you comfortable. Leaving it in the past never does any good, keeping it to yourself will only hurt you more. Good luck with your decision and remember, VT is a place where if you want to be kept anonymous then you're welcome to, it's easier to post and get things out here knowing someone, wherever they may be in the world, is reading it. Real life is usually more complicated, that's one of the joys of this website.

[Stryker125]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that, however bad it was or that you viewed it as you're right, it shouldn't have happened. It's obviously been on your mind and maybe it would help talking about it, sorting out your thoughts and letting someone else in can be a massive weight off your shoulders. It can't be easy to keep something like that, maybe it's time to let someone know? The fact that it makes you angry isn't good, and of course, you have a right to be. Telling your Dad shouldn't make you feel guilty, you have a right to let people know, it's amazing just posting it on an anonymous website.

You have time, in my opinion I think you should talk to your counsellor but you should go along with whatever makes you comfortable. Leaving it in the past never does any good, keeping it to yourself will only hurt you more. Good luck with your decision and remember, VT is a place where if you want to be kept anonymous then you're welcome to, it's easier to post and get things out here knowing someone, wherever they may be in the world, is reading it. Real life is usually more complicated, that's one of the joys of this website.

This. I couldn't have said it any better.

[Destructive Impulse]

I'm not sure what happened but regardless of that it wasn't your fault your cat got hit. And I think since your already in counciling you should talk about it. Good luck man.

[Listed MIA]

thanks for the replies. i think maybe i made myself look like a pathetic victim? i'm not really. i have an amateur boxing record with zero losses. pretty much everyone hates me in real life because i make myself out to be horrible. i don't know why this stuff keeps happening to me. i don't know why i let it happen in the first place. the thing when i was 10, our house was full of people because my dad was having a party. i could have just shouted for someone to help me. or just left the room when i realised something bad was going to happen. theres hundreds of things i could have done but i didn't do any of them.

if i mention this in counselling will they have to report it to the police? i don't even know what to say. like how to bring it up. its not exactly my most favourite thing to talk about. actually writing it here was the first time i've ever said anything about it. i feel pretty wrong about saying it, like i can't take it back now. sometimes stuff spirals out of control when you let other people in on it. they just take over.

i do really want to tell my dad about it cos it will explain a lot about some of the stuff i've done. and he still sees this guy sometimes. and i just think its really wrong that this guy is pretending to be his friend after what he did.

i don't know now. i'm not sure why i had this crazy idea.

[Destructive Impulse]

I don't really know why happened so idk about your dad but if you ask everything be confidential between you and your councillor he'll keep it between you two.

[Listed MIA]

I don't really know why happened so idk about your dad but if you ask everything be confidential between you and your councillor he'll keep it between you two.

see, i don't think they will keep it confidential. i can't remember exactly what they said but they did say something about not being able to keep certain things confidential. i'm already on a child protection plan with social services (which is a load of bullshit. a. i'm not a child and b. i don't need their protection) so i think my counsellor would have to tell them. and i don't need any more hassle from them.

i wanted to tell my dad in counselling, so they could kind of contain his reaction. if i tell him without someone sane there then he might want to do something, illegal i guess. i don't want him to go to jail or anything.

[Destructive Impulse]

Well if your under 18 CPS has authority. I'm sorry to hear that though

[Listed MIA]

i think its 16 where i live. i can't complain about them too much since they have helped me with college stuff.

i guess i am going to tell them everything. this guy probably still goes around molesting little kids. i don't think i am the first person he ever did it to. why did that first person not say something? then it wouldn't have happened to me. i kind of just decided that. i actually started typing something else then i figured out that i was wrong so i deleted it. i need to figure out what i want to say now. this really sucks. a lot.

[Destructive Impulse]

Im sorry man. I hope it gets easier for you and dont blame yourself. Im here if you ever wanna about anything

[XxMaymayxX]

in most places, any parent or sort of guardian can get information from councilors and psychs if you are under what ever the legal adult age is. Here it is 18.

Something to try if you choose to go forward with telling your councilor is, writing it out before you go in. That way you can have everything planed out and you won't have to worry about what to say. You would also be able to make changes to it if something seems to sound off. I am here to talk if you need someone to talk to.

[Listed MIA]

I'm just posting an update to say that i finally told my dad about what happened. it was way harder than i thought. i didn't tell him who the person was yet. i talked to my friend about it after since he pretty much lives with us anyway. we never talk about anything like this but i'm glad we did. I'm going to speak to the police on monday, not looking forward to that. my counsellor is going to come with me. i don't know what is going to happen after that. that's pretty much it.

[Charleigh]

Hey. i'm kind of new here. i don't want to tell my whole life story but some pretty bad stuff happened to me recently. i've been going to counselling for PTSD. i suppose it is helping a bit.

there's this other thing that happened to me when i was 10. it wasn't really REALLY bad, but it shouldn't have happened. it mostly makes me angry when i think about it tbh. its not like i think about it all that much either. its just that when it happened it was in my bed room, and my cat was in there too. this guy grabbed my cat and said if i ever told anyone he would kill the cat. i was 10 and that really upset me because our other cat just died a couple of days before that. so of course i wasn't going to tell anyone because i didn't want anything bad to happen to the cat. well, about a week later the cat got hit by a car and died. it was probably a random accident but i keep thinking, what if it was him? thats actually more upsetting to me than the stuff he did to me.

i was thinking, since i am in counselling now maybe i should bring it up? i kind of want to tell my dad since it was his friend that did it. but i'm not sure what the point of bringing it back up again is. i kind of just want to say it. i think i just want someone to tell me it wasn't my fault about the cat. i know that probably sounds crazy, but i do feel like it was my fault. if i say it in counselling maybe they will want to tell the police? i'm waiting for a trial date from the other stuff that happened and i don't want to do it all again. especially when its 5 years later and there is no evidence or anything. yeah, and my dad will probably be crazy upset about it. he's already partly crazy and i don't want to push him over the edge into full-on-crazy.

sorry, this is a pretty long way of asking whether you think i should tell or just leave it in the past.

(I posted an update in post #12)

The only way you're going to get over it and get yourself through it, to deal with it; is to bring it up and actually talking about it. Suppressing it won't get you anywhere hun, good luck. Here if you need a chat :wub:

[aanderso_n]

im so sorry this happened to you :( i am an animal lover myself and i quite frequently think that if human only had the personalities of cats and dogs that heaven would exist on earth. I think counseling is best, because when you talk about things with other people, that's one less burden you have to carry alone, and it lifts the weight off your mind. Good luck :)

if you ever wanna chat just PM :)