RelicHunter97
June 14th, 2012, 09:31 PM
For those of you on here who may know me, I am typically a happy go lucky perky full of life and laughter kind of guy. But within the past year and a half or so, my life has really gotten sucky. I've never been a well liked kid amongst my peers. Hell,until 6th grade I Only had a couple friends. I was always the fat, ugly, smart kid that people didn't want to associate with. And I am still affected by this, 4 odd years later. Even though I am in a much better environment, the pain is still there; people making comments behind your back, your alleged best friend deciding that she was going to be a bitch and totally disconnect from you, and more recently, hearing people laugh at a picture of you that came up on a slideshow. Then there is the shadow of doubt you cast upon yourself. As well as the amount of stress coming from school, it all builds up. Tonight the floodgates opened, but just a trickle came out. More on that later.
Let it be known that I am currently in tears whilst listening to the the born this Way album, a compilation of musical genious that always calms my nerves. Anyways, this past year, the last couple of months in particular, I have been very angsty. And more recently suicidal, and the feeling is only getting stronger. I have honestly been questioning whether or not I will literally survive high school. Back to this stress thing, some of my hair is starting to go gray. I turned 15 last month. I hate my life, I hate my face, my body, my nature. And home isn't much better. It has gotten so annoying and overwhelming, but I shan't get into that now.
Fast forward to today. It is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday, and Monday is a half day, my last day of school. My English teacher isn't accepting anyt late work after tomorrow, and would you look at that I'm still missing several important things. As of the 11th, I was getting a 65. And on Monday, the fucking LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, I have my English final, ad we have to write two essays in one class period. Now, I am terrible at writing when it is assigned, unless it is something I am interested in. However, I have no interest in these topics or the books they came from, and a single essay in this kind of essay takes me about three hours to write. But I have 80 minutes, to do two. I don't know what corner of his ass he pulled this idea from, but I'd love to shove it back up there. So I am most likely going to fail. And even if I don't, I was so lucky to get one of his classes next year, and my goddamn guidance counselor won't change my chedule because it will rearrange my whole schedule. I'm like I don't care about when my classes are! So then later today, I was walking in the hallway with my friend and her friend, Satans spawn. At one point ms. Spawn asked me if I cut myself, and before I can say anything my friend said no because hes too much of a pussy. I was really pissed off by this. And her arms are absolutely covered in cuts.
Well guess who just joined the club?
Thats right. I just spent about five minutes carving up my thighs with my pocketknife. And I'm not gonna lie, it fel kinda good and took some of the edge off. So that's it, that's the end of my story. Now if you actually took the time out of your lives to waste it on this part of mine, then thank you.
Let it be known that I am currently in tears whilst listening to the the born this Way album, a compilation of musical genious that always calms my nerves. Anyways, this past year, the last couple of months in particular, I have been very angsty. And more recently suicidal, and the feeling is only getting stronger. I have honestly been questioning whether or not I will literally survive high school. Back to this stress thing, some of my hair is starting to go gray. I turned 15 last month. I hate my life, I hate my face, my body, my nature. And home isn't much better. It has gotten so annoying and overwhelming, but I shan't get into that now.
Fast forward to today. It is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday, and Monday is a half day, my last day of school. My English teacher isn't accepting anyt late work after tomorrow, and would you look at that I'm still missing several important things. As of the 11th, I was getting a 65. And on Monday, the fucking LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, I have my English final, ad we have to write two essays in one class period. Now, I am terrible at writing when it is assigned, unless it is something I am interested in. However, I have no interest in these topics or the books they came from, and a single essay in this kind of essay takes me about three hours to write. But I have 80 minutes, to do two. I don't know what corner of his ass he pulled this idea from, but I'd love to shove it back up there. So I am most likely going to fail. And even if I don't, I was so lucky to get one of his classes next year, and my goddamn guidance counselor won't change my chedule because it will rearrange my whole schedule. I'm like I don't care about when my classes are! So then later today, I was walking in the hallway with my friend and her friend, Satans spawn. At one point ms. Spawn asked me if I cut myself, and before I can say anything my friend said no because hes too much of a pussy. I was really pissed off by this. And her arms are absolutely covered in cuts.
Well guess who just joined the club?
Thats right. I just spent about five minutes carving up my thighs with my pocketknife. And I'm not gonna lie, it fel kinda good and took some of the edge off. So that's it, that's the end of my story. Now if you actually took the time out of your lives to waste it on this part of mine, then thank you.