User Deleted
June 14th, 2012, 01:02 AM
It seems on this day... Night, I have lost a friend. I presume it related to me religion. My emotions... I can't feel them, I'm rather numb, indifferent to the flurry of anger. The internet, could that be what has taken my emotions. No matter. I feel a little dizzy. I think my blood is pumping with adrenaline. I'm very on edge despite feeling like... nothing. This feels a lot like when someone died. I wasn't close to them, but I felt empty. Have they died to me... Is that why I feel nothing. I hope they come back, but do I know they won't. I'm shaking. My typing, I keep making corrections.
I know this is choppy. It was written in a flurry of emotion... Emotions I can not directly feel, I feel them physically not mentally. I was unfriended on facebook and tool they would never speak again to me... though this is a common sign of a females rage as I have come to stereotypical understand it seemed to pulsate with sincerity. I'm sweating... I'm definitely feeling stress weather I am mentally acknowledging it or not... I was linked to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bFbEg0SwJ8&fb_source=message and also told never to contact the family of this friend. I was told to remove the phone number.
I'm not sure that I care, I mean, at this point I've seen so many people come and go despite salvaging many past relationships I feel as though I would be no happier or less happy salvaging it. I feel so indifferent. Not a tear has been shed, nor would a tear shed if I never spoke with them again. I suppose I learned to let go. I've been meditating lately. Perhaps this lack of mental pain is a positive response.
I've said so much without saying anything up to this point. I should be a politician. Anyways I guess I should give some material. I posted about some of my thinking, it was about the bible. I am an atheist, and it was a flaw in the bible. It doesn't matter too much (I don't think... Tell me if I'm wrong and you really want to see it). But then a few hours was the message. I read it. Examined it. Listened. I felt hot and responded so numbly, with a formal apology saying I was sorry about their decision. Though I doubt they'll read it after that reaction.
Am I venting. I really don't know. This is just a reaction I had. Not sure if I should make amends or let it be another passing bush in the forest of life. Not sure if I should be feeling anything... mentally. Should I actually care... Should I stop asking rhetorical questions and add question marks... No I was kidding there. I can't be sad if I'm joking, I barely have a sense of humor. Anyways thank any of you who suffered reading this jumbled mess of a story. It was all I wanted to do.
EDIT: looks like this would fit better in family and friends, please move and thank you.
I know this is choppy. It was written in a flurry of emotion... Emotions I can not directly feel, I feel them physically not mentally. I was unfriended on facebook and tool they would never speak again to me... though this is a common sign of a females rage as I have come to stereotypical understand it seemed to pulsate with sincerity. I'm sweating... I'm definitely feeling stress weather I am mentally acknowledging it or not... I was linked to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bFbEg0SwJ8&fb_source=message and also told never to contact the family of this friend. I was told to remove the phone number.
I'm not sure that I care, I mean, at this point I've seen so many people come and go despite salvaging many past relationships I feel as though I would be no happier or less happy salvaging it. I feel so indifferent. Not a tear has been shed, nor would a tear shed if I never spoke with them again. I suppose I learned to let go. I've been meditating lately. Perhaps this lack of mental pain is a positive response.
I've said so much without saying anything up to this point. I should be a politician. Anyways I guess I should give some material. I posted about some of my thinking, it was about the bible. I am an atheist, and it was a flaw in the bible. It doesn't matter too much (I don't think... Tell me if I'm wrong and you really want to see it). But then a few hours was the message. I read it. Examined it. Listened. I felt hot and responded so numbly, with a formal apology saying I was sorry about their decision. Though I doubt they'll read it after that reaction.
Am I venting. I really don't know. This is just a reaction I had. Not sure if I should make amends or let it be another passing bush in the forest of life. Not sure if I should be feeling anything... mentally. Should I actually care... Should I stop asking rhetorical questions and add question marks... No I was kidding there. I can't be sad if I'm joking, I barely have a sense of humor. Anyways thank any of you who suffered reading this jumbled mess of a story. It was all I wanted to do.
EDIT: looks like this would fit better in family and friends, please move and thank you.