project_icarus
June 13th, 2012, 07:50 AM
Tonight has been pretty fucked up. Just starting from earlier today at school, period 5 & 6.
I had exams, the stress got to me way more than it should have. Anyway, right before the exam, I went to a secluded part of the campus and cut. I managed to make it back less than a minute before the thing started. Throughout the exam I kept on having tics (I have Tourettes) and the whole hall of people just started staring at me, and some of the teachers there decided to come over to me and ask if I was okay, and if I needed anything, which just made me even more stressed out, I said nothing. Throughout the test I managed to answer barely any questions (31 of 117), of which I got 0% correct.
I've been feeling rather low for a while (a few days now), I don't even know exactly why. I'm just fucking stupid, pointless, and fucking retarded. There's nothing I can pinpoint, except for what just happened earlier today, and about ten minutes ago. I was (obviously) feeling like shit, I've done three things. I've called Kids Helpline (they had me on hold for about 20 minutes so I hung up), I've called a friend (who didn't answer), and I went on facebook to see if another friend was online. She was, and I started speaking to her. Once I let her know I was feeling like this, she told me this...
dont talk to me if ur gonna keep sayin shit like that i dont need to worry about more things so bye
So yeah. I don't know what else to do, I have nothing else to do. I could rant through another four, five, or ten of these paragraphs about how pathetic I am, but my bitch of a mother is disconnecting the internet in... well, meant to be twenty minutes ago. I would provide a number, but hey, this is VT.
Fuck.
I had exams, the stress got to me way more than it should have. Anyway, right before the exam, I went to a secluded part of the campus and cut. I managed to make it back less than a minute before the thing started. Throughout the exam I kept on having tics (I have Tourettes) and the whole hall of people just started staring at me, and some of the teachers there decided to come over to me and ask if I was okay, and if I needed anything, which just made me even more stressed out, I said nothing. Throughout the test I managed to answer barely any questions (31 of 117), of which I got 0% correct.
I've been feeling rather low for a while (a few days now), I don't even know exactly why. I'm just fucking stupid, pointless, and fucking retarded. There's nothing I can pinpoint, except for what just happened earlier today, and about ten minutes ago. I was (obviously) feeling like shit, I've done three things. I've called Kids Helpline (they had me on hold for about 20 minutes so I hung up), I've called a friend (who didn't answer), and I went on facebook to see if another friend was online. She was, and I started speaking to her. Once I let her know I was feeling like this, she told me this...
dont talk to me if ur gonna keep sayin shit like that i dont need to worry about more things so bye
So yeah. I don't know what else to do, I have nothing else to do. I could rant through another four, five, or ten of these paragraphs about how pathetic I am, but my bitch of a mother is disconnecting the internet in... well, meant to be twenty minutes ago. I would provide a number, but hey, this is VT.
Fuck.