Watching Someone you like Date a Jerk

[BrassMonkey]

There is this one girl who I have known and been friends with for about 3 years. Last Year I started really liking her as a girlfriend than a close friend. I mean, ever since I started middle school, I have been looking for someone go out with, but I havent had a real relationship with someone. I was in one when I was in 5th grade, but those relationships are those crush type of things I guess you would say. I have never been in a relationship in middle school, and I really wanted to be in a Real serious Relationship with someone during high school, which I will be a Freshman this year. I never liked anyone in middle school because there was no one that had what I looked for except her. Well, I asked her out and she seemed like she want to, but she had to ask her dad (Thats what she told me), but we never did go out. We kind just went on like it didnt happen. I still had/do have feeling for her, I think about her everyday. I found out she started going out with a guy, which really crushed me because I had to except the fact that we were not going to be able to go out. The guy that she is dating is a total jerk. He doesnt trust her enough from his actions, he controls who she can hang out with, plus he Cheated on her Multiple times. She came to me like she wanted advice and help, so I gave her advice and help, but it seems like she was too madly in love with him that she didnt listen. She kept giving me the madly in love story, so I told her ways to fix their relationship which didnt happen or didnt happen like it should. Yeah, that also crushed me by giving someone that Im madly in love with advice to fix a relationship with someone else. It also made me upset that she is dating a jerk that doesnt treat her like she needs to be treatde, but here I am madly in love with her and I would treat her like she needs to be treated. She doesnt see me as someone madly in love with her, she only sees me as a close friend. I cant show her that Im madly in love with her, because it would screw up our relationship as friends. You know you really care and really in love with someone when you think about them everyday and give them advice to fix a relationship with someone else. I could have done everything I could to get them to break up so I could get a chance of us going out, but I didnt. Thats how much I care for her. She is everything that I have been looking for in a girlfriend, and there is no one else that I would want to go out with right now, but her. It just really sucks watching the person that you are madly in love with date some jerk... Is there anyone out there that has been in a situation like this? What did you do?

[Drag0nite]

I have not personally had this but you know what I would do it may sound cheesy but say to her "how is your relationship with bob" if she says things about fighting or bad things say something like "I don't think he should treat you that way if he really likes you" then if you want to say like if "I where him I listen to your every word" stuff like that look in her eyes when saying it say it in a nice tone this might just touch her heart maybe then she might like you and break up with him for you way with words

[BrassMonkey]

I have not personally had this but you know what I would do it may sound cheesy but say to her "how is your relationship with bob" if she says things about fighting or bad things say something like "I don't think he should treat you that way if he really likes you" then if you want to say like if "I where him I listen to your every word" stuff like that look in her eyes when saying it say it in a nice tone this might just touch her heart maybe then she might like you and break up with him for you way with words
I forgot to mention that her Boyfriend Threatened me on Facebook, because he wont let her be around other guys. Me and my friend have been planning to hang out for months, and was going to until her boyfriend wouldnt let her. Then there was a bunch of drama of all of that. So, if we do hangout or whatever, her boyfriend is there. I wouldnt be able to do that. We text each other, facebook each other, and sometimes video chat.

[Drag0nite]

Does she know he threatens other people like her friends and it sounds like he is way to over protective. How big is he like in strength

[BrassMonkey]

Does she know he threatens other people like her friends and it sounds like he is way to over protective. How big is he like in strength
Oh Yeah, I told my friend and what really made me upset is it seems like she really didnt do anything about it. I mean, I told her and all she said is Im sorry repeatedly. And yeah, he is pretty buff.

[Drag0nite]

Well I was going to say stand up to him about being mean and clingy to her but if she likes that kind off stuff she has bad taste in guys

[BrassMonkey]

Well I was going to say stand up to him about being mean and clingy to her but if she likes that kind off stuff she has bad taste in guys
Well, they do all of that lovey dovey stuff and are all madly in love together (Which is what I would do too). I personally think she is madly in love with him, and the boyfriend just uses her for the lovey dovey stuff. I mean, if you cheat on someone, then you are basically using them. It just almost seems like she is so madly in love with him like being in denial, that she doesnt see or doesnt want to see the bad things that have happened.

[Drag0nite]

What kind of lovey dovey stuff do they do

[BrassMonkey]

What kind of lovey dovey stuff do they do
Well, when we all went to the movies with a group of friends, her and her boyfriend were all hugged up and cuddled and I think they may have made out a few times. Apparently they make out at home too or at least kiss a lot, from what she told me. I dont know what else they do when they are at home. I know they dont do anything sexual, because she is not that type of person.

[Drag0nite]

How old is her boyfreind

[BrassMonkey]

How old is her boyfreind
He is 16, and Im 15.

[Drag0nite]

Is she 15 or 16

[BrassMonkey]

Is she 15 or 16
She is 14.

[Drag0nite]

hmmmm that's a lIttle strange so all of you are going to be freshman and he is 16 in middle school. Do you know if you have any classes with her in high school

[BrassMonkey]

hmmmm that's a lIttle strange so all of you are going to be freshman and he is 16 in middle school. Do you know if you have any classes with her in high school
Actually, she is home schooled and I dont know if her boyfriend is in 8th going to 9th or in 9th going to 10th. Me and my friend are in the same grade though. She used to be in public school, but then her 8th grade year she was home schooled. We only hung out once out of school, and that was months ago. Thats why we were planning to hang out for months when summer break came for me. Then when summer break did come, then I was slapped in the face with her saying her boyfriend wont let her hang out with me. Then it became loads of drama.

[BrassMonkey]

By the Way, he lives in one of our border counties. So he doesnt live in my county.

[Drag0nite]

The only other way to solve this by using a shovel jk. Do your and your friends family's know each other well?

[BrassMonkey]

The only other way to solve this by using a shovel jk. Do your and your friends family's know each other well?
No, our families dont know each other.

[Drag0nite]

I was thinking about your families having a brabaque but that's not going to work. If she doesn't tell her boyfreind about doing stuff in secret with you will probably make him pissed. Are there any special places u and her have like a tree that you climb anything like that

[BrassMonkey]

I was thinking about your families having a brabaque but that's not going to work. If she doesn't tell her boyfreind about doing stuff in secret with you will probably make him pissed. Are there any special places u and her have like a tree that you climb anything like that
Oh dont worry, I already pissed him off when he started threatening me on Facebook. He already pissed me off by things he done that wasnt right, but I kept it to myself and didnt tell anyone that he pissed me off. Me and my friend live on the opposite side of the county, so there really isnt a place to meet up that is close by each others house. I have tried to get her hang out, but she is so madly in love with him that she isnt going to make him mad by hanging out with a guy friend without her boyfriend being there.

[Drag0nite]

You need something to get her out of the love trance something to "wake her up"

[BrassMonkey]

You need something to get her out of the love trance something to "wake her up"
I know Right!!!!! Just texting her isnt cutting it. I wish we could be alone somewhere to talk about the situation so she can her my voice. I told my other friend and my mom about this and said the same thing before I told them how I felt. I told my friend that two other people have said what I said and one of the two people are on of her friends too. I was telling my other friend that there are so many red flags in her face, but she doesnt see them.

[Drag0nite]

But just what would do it a memory a place a saying a song hmmmmmmm. When did you 2 first become friends

[BrassMonkey]

But just what would do it a memory a place a saying a song hmmmmmmm. When did you 2 first become friends
Well, we first knew each other in 6th grade because we had Social Studies together. We talked some here and there. Then in 7th grade we became friends because we talked more and then hung out in gym. We started texting each other in 7th grade. Then in 8th grade we did nothing but text each other and then we finally went to the movies that one time. We had so much fun and we were both really looking forward to go back to the movies, But then her boyfriend drama started.

[Drag0nite]

Is her boyfreind effecting her whole social life if it is you should txt here and say something is changing about you then if she replies like what you should say she has be acting strange and she isn't the person that you remeber from 7th grade and it has been effecting you guys friendship and summer is not forever there is only a limited time we can do all the fun things we planned ethir we do them or not it's your choice. do you think she wouldn't get mad at that

[BrassMonkey]

Is her boyfreind effecting her whole social life if it is you should txt here and say something is changing about you then if she replies like what you should say she has be acting strange and she isn't the person that you remeber from 7th grade and it has been effecting you guys friendship and summer is not forever there is only a limited time we can do all the fun things we planned ethir we do them or not it's your choice. do you think she wouldn't get mad at that
Yeah, thats how I feel about it. Summer if limited time and yes it is effecting our relationship as friends. It seems like Im the only guy friend who is having trouble, but I dont know if anything has been said or done with one of her other guy friends. I mean, it has effected our relationship. We used to text each other everyday for long periods of time throughout the day. Now, after all of this drama between me, her, and her boyfriend, we dont text each other like we did. I text her and she might text me back later on, but its short conversations and not the long conversations like we used to do. I miss that, and I was trying to keep our friendship strong and not let her boyfriend and his drama screw it up, which it seems like it already has.

[Drag0nite]

Try writing down on a piece of paper all the things that you miss about you two being friends then form that in to some kind of communication between you let all the emotions out on the paper revise edit form it you could even do a billeted list or something

[BrassMonkey]

Try writing down on a piece of paper all the things that you miss about you two being friends then form that in to some kind of communication between you let all the emotions out on the paper revise edit form it you could even do a billeted list or something
Yeah, thats a Good Idea. I might just do that. I hope she might would wake up or something if she sees that. Thanks for the Help and Support, man. I never told any of my friends about this Situation of me in love with her added on to the Drama situation. We should chat sometime.

[Drag0nite]

All ways happy to help

[Matt_is_Awesome]

dude same happened with my best friend, she dated a total jerk he was controlling told her what she could or could not wear, who to hang out with, who to talk to, made her feel bad about everything because to him everything was her fault, just a total jerk. Well I was one of those people she wasnt allowed to talk to and Im her best friend. So I talked to her anyway and found she was madly in love with him. They literally broke up and got back together like 20 times b4 the relationship finally ended and he still trys to get her back but I got her to not date him anymore and thank god i did he always hurt her emotionally and shes still kinda hurt emotionally but we getting through it so yea its tough to see a girl u like or best friend get treated like shit but try your best to get her though him so yea..

[Black.Veil.Brides]

maybe she is trying to make yhu jealous... ik i used to do that!!
i hope things work out!! :hug: