I don't want it to happen again..

[MyRedHeadWorld]

I've been of cutting for about...3 months? but last time was a slip up that I regreted the secound after. But just like last year, everything is piling up...

small problems like my friends being such arses towards me lately. then slightly bigger issues, like the fact I have 4 GCSE exams coming up and I'm positive I'm gunna fail! especially drama because my teacher loves to critise me. not my work. Me! the way my hair is, my boyfriends weight (just cause he's a little chunky) the fact I use to cut is well?! I dont know HOW she knows unless she guessed cause I had black hair and says I'm 'emo' for that. little problems then get piled on big problems, Like the fact the only grandparents I ever had are dyeing or whatever, and my parents dont want to actually tell me about, I just get to hear them talk about it on the phone or whatever. So this and more is just getting to me, and the only way I delt with stress was self harm. I've done well to resist it so far, but I may snap, and I cant tell my boyfriend, even though I trust him with my life..I dont want him to worry..

I dont know why I'm writing this. maybe to just get it out there. for advice, or whatever. I just feel like my life is going down the drains. I'll never be a singer, I wont have a house, I'm so scared about what MIGHT happen...Maybe I'm over thinking alot. I dont know what's going on >_<


^nice to get it all out:)..

[Breakeven]

awww hun :hug: , im here if u need someone to talk tooo

[StoppingTime]

You aren't going to fail, no matter what your "teacher" says. Of course, you know they're wrong. You aren't "emo" whatever that means. You shouldn't be criticized by someone who is supposed to be helping you. If you feel it is getting out of hand, tell an administrator a your school. It may seem childish to do this, but you don't deserve to be treated at put down like that.
And I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents. I don't really know how to say this, but sadly, there isn't anything you can do about it. Just spend as much time with them as you can, and enjoy all of it. Don't stress yourself out over things you cannot control. I am the exact same way. Any time there is a problem which I know I can't fix, I always think, "There's something I could/could have done...," but really, in this case, there isn't.
Finally, it is best to tell someone in your life about all this. It will be hard, but if your boyfriend is truly trustworthy, then he won't worry too much about you. He'll make sure he can help you in any way possible.
To make it less nerve-wracking for you, write him a note, and give it to him, explaining that you want to talk. He'll understand, and support you through all this.
Focus on the present. Don't worry about what'll happen to you in 10-15 years from now. If you try, you'll get there. Live in the moment, and focus on everything that's going on. When the time comes, you'll deal with all that, but for now, don't work yourself up over it.
Good luck, and I'm always here to talk. :)