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Bolt
June 6th, 2012, 05:18 PM
After reading around in this section of the forums I’ve come to the realization that in comparison to the majority of people’s issues that mine are relatively insignificant and because of that I’d just like to apologize before I start ranting on about my lesser problems as to not offend the people whose issues are far more severe (especially to Montesquieu15 in his A Letter to Dad thread).

My mother and I have always had an estranged relationship: one moment we’d be the living embodiment of a perfect mother-son relationship while in the next breath we’d literally be at each other’s throats over the most petty of things. And I’ve tried to fix it. I’ve tried so hard and I’ve always came away with the same results – nothing. Nothing I ever do seems to strengthen the bond that we have, to really solidify it. In the end, every attempt I make to rectify our issues with one another just leads to more issues and more arguments and more angst towards one another. And I’m sick of it. I’m absolutely sick of putting so much effort into trying to have a strong relationship only to have it put down and used as a catalyst to build more problems off of.

In complete and total honesty, I cannot remember the last day that my mother and I did NOT argue about anything. Do you have any idea how friggin’ heart breaking that is? To at some points feel like your mother hates and is ashamed of you? When we argue, I always try to maintain an even tone but I’m only human and when the levy of my emotion breaks I get pissed. My voice raises, my tone changes, and my facial expressions are hostile but (usually) that is all in reaction to her voice raising, tone changing, etc. Yet I’m expected not to do that and when I do she acts as if I am damn near demonic for getting mad enough to ACTUALLY raise my voice to ACTUALLY get pissed. Oh, and if I try and say something like “Relax mom, its fine. It’s no big deal, don’t get yourself worked up.” Or anything of that nature then she starts yelling about how she isn’t upset… definitely seems like she isn’t, right? And after all that, when she storms away and I eventually go after her to talk to her about the situation what does she have the nerve to say? “I’m sick of you talking to me like this.” Wait… what? In what way am I talking to you that is so hurtful? In what way do I treat you like anything short of the mother I’d wish you be to me? Please, enlighten me, mom because I don’t know what the FUCK I’m supposed to do anymore. I’m sick of trying so hard only to be demonized.

I’m just sick of all this bull that seems to be a constant affair in my everyday life. Does anyone have ANY suggestions for what I can do to finally rectify all these issues with her? I’m fresh out of ideas and considering this is a constant occurance when I’m around her I’m all but set on taking a “road trip” (A.K.A. running away) to god knows where when I get back from my time away this summer (2 ½ months away from her).

Conner Davies
June 6th, 2012, 06:48 PM
Now bolt i would like to help u, so theres a couple i would to clear up.
1) in another post u said ur dad wasnt in your life, WASNT so is he there now or not
2) what do u think of your dad
then i can help u

Bolt
June 6th, 2012, 06:59 PM
Now bolt i would like to help u, so theres a couple i would to clear up.
1) in another post u said ur dad wasnt in your life, WASNT so is he there now or not
2) what do u think of your dad
then i can help u

1) Sorry about the unintentional confusion. My dad isn't a main factor in my life. We have limited conversation and only see each other for a week or two out of the year.

2) My dad is a good guy. He's strong, caring, really the perfect dad archetype. Unfortunately due to the custody battle a couple years back he really doesn't get to see me as much as he wants and can only call me from time to time due to his job. He's made more of an effort to squeeze in conversation time with me lately, which is nice.

jacob360
June 6th, 2012, 08:03 PM
Hey Bolt, I know exactly how you feel. My mom and I would fight just like you and yours do, even over the smallest of things. Just hang in there, and everything will be okay. Trust me, running away is not the answer. My sister did this because they would fight all the time, but it broke my mom's heart that she would go to this extent. Things will get better though, trust me. My mom passed away this February, and all I do is look at the good times we had. I still feel guilt, because we got in a fight right before she passed. If you wanna talk, I'm here bud. Hope everything gets better.

Bolt
June 6th, 2012, 08:34 PM
Hey Bolt, I know exactly how you feel. My mom and I would fight just like you and yours do, even over the smallest of things. Just hang in there, and everything will be okay. Trust me, running away is not the answer. My sister did this because they would fight all the time, but it broke my mom's heart that she would go to this extent. Things will get better though, trust me. My mom passed away this February, and all I do is look at the good times we had. I still feel guilty, because we got in a fight right before she passed. If you wanna talk, I'm here bud. Hope everything gets better.

Just another showing of why I threw that apology in there at the beginning of my post. What you've gone through is a lot more tragic than anything I'm going through with my own mother at this time. I never looked at me running away as something that would actually impact her life. I'm not sure why but whenever I thought of her reaction I always felt as if she'd finally be happy or finally want that damn relationship I'd been wishing for. But despite this I don't wanna hurt her. She's my mom after all.

I'm sorry about your mom, bud. I'll definitely hit you up with a message if I have any more troubles like this. Thanks again and I'm sorry. Stay strong.

jacob360
June 7th, 2012, 12:13 AM
Just another showing of why I threw that apology in there at the beginning of my post. What you've gone through is a lot more tragic than anything I'm going through with my own mother at this time. I never looked at me running away as something that would actually impact her life. I'm not sure why but whenever I thought of her reaction I always felt as if she'd finally be happy or finally want that damn relationship I'd been wishing for. But despite this I don't wanna hurt her. She's my mom after all.

I'm sorry about your mom, bud. I'll definitely hit you up with a message if I have any more troubles like this. Thanks again and I'm sorry. Stay strong.

Thanks man. I will. Hopefully everything gets better!