ugh. help. please.

[ExhibitG]

after years and years of pondering, i really just want to come out of the closet to someone and even a few people, but i'm so scared. i think most of my friends will accept me, but i feel like they will just look at my differently once i come out. it's embarrassing that i've been holding in this secret.

but it's just this pressure that keeps building up inside me little by little every day to just get it out. i want to be able to be myself around my friends and call guys hot or something, you know? i shouldn't have to lie all the time.

it gets even worse just because i'm not even sure of what i am. i'm emotionally attracted to girls more than i am to guys, but i'm way more sexually attracted to guys than i am to girls. i don't know if that's bi or bordering on gay. i don't know whether to come out to someone as bi or gay. and i also don't want to come out as bi and then later declare i'm gay because i feel like that's sort of embarrassing.

i'm just nervous and scared and confused, but i just want to be myself at least with a few close friends for now. does anyone have any tips or advice to come out? i feel so alone. :(

[Guillermo]

I think that you should pick one of your really good friends whom you think will accept you (it's usually better if it's just one friend). Then you should just sit down and talk with him/her about your feelings. I'm sure that if they accepted you in the first place, then they'll understand your feelings. You shouldn't have to keep all this built-up pressure because sometimes that can ultimately lead to depression.

[Mike Gainer]

umm... so you're coming out of the closet to tell people you're unsure of your sexuality? You need to decide who you are before you make decisions like these.

[NotYourSombrero]

It is normally a lot easier to come out to a gay/bi friend you could start there and slowly learn more about who you are then start telling more people. Some people won't accept you but that is something you will just have to look past.

[Harley Quinn]

after years and years of pondering, i really just want to come out of the closet to someone and even a few people, but i'm so scared. i think most of my friends will accept me, but i feel like they will just look at my differently once i come out. it's embarrassing that i've been holding in this secret.
If your friends don't accept you and/or look at your differently, I think you need to re-evaluate why you're friends with them. However, you say that they'll probably accept you, so why are you worrying, you won't know the reaction till you actually tell them.

but it's just this pressure that keeps building up inside me little by little every day to just get it out. i want to be able to be myself around my friends and call guys hot or something, you know? i shouldn't have to lie all the time.

If you want to be yourself, just be yourself, in today's society, no one will actually judge you that harshly. Just slip in to a conversation that you think this guy is hot or whatever and you'll know by their reaction what they think.

it gets even worse just because i'm not even sure of what i am. i'm emotionally attracted to girls more than i am to guys, but i'm way more sexually attracted to guys than i am to girls. i don't know if that's bi or bordering on gay. i don't know whether to come out to someone as bi or gay. and i also don't want to come out as bi and then later declare i'm gay because i feel like that's sort of embarrassing.


Well first off, you need to figure out what you are before even thinking of coming out, if you are sure, then by all means come out. We can't tell you what you are, only you know that, and if you really don't now, give it time. There is no rush, and you don't actually need to label yourself. I first came out as bi, but later lesbian and to be honest, nothing changes, it's not embarrassing, it's just easier sometimes coming out as bi because it's not as 'heavy' in terms of a label and is more accepted.

i'm just nervous and scared and confused, but i just want to be myself at least with a few close friends for now. does anyone have any tips or advice to come out? i feel so alone. :(

If you feel that you can tell them, even if you're confused, voice it with them. If they are your best friends, they'll understand and guide you into place.

[ExhibitG]

thanks for the responses :)

umm... so you're coming out of the closet to tell people you're unsure of your sexuality? You need to decide who you are before you make decisions like these.

i know i'm at least bisexual, there's no questioning that. i'm just not sure if i'm gay right now. so should i come out as bisexual now and then later come out as gay if i decide that's what i am?

please don't double post use the edit button to edit your original post -FullyAlive

[Desuetude]

I say you should wait until you're completely sure. Then at least you can be certain that when you tell people there will be no confusion and no having to go round all over again and catch people up. Maybe you could tell a few close friends/family that you're bi, maybe they can support and help especially when telling everyone else.

[Skyhawk]

Hey ExhibitG :)

Before you do any form of publicly joining the rainbow squad you need to be absolutely sure that you are bisexual/gay. This will probably mean that it isn't the right time for you.

If you are absolutely positively 100% sure, then start with your closest friends. If they don't accept you then you don't accept them, mmkay? True friends stay friends, fake friends fade away.

Good Luck! :)

[ExhibitG]

yeah all i really wanted to do was tell some of my closest friends, and i'm absolutely not even anywhere near ready to tell my parents. i think little by little i'm going to come out as bi to my friends and maybe just explain exactly how i'm feeling so they know that's being more than just "bisexual" or "gay" in a single word.

[Skyhawk]

As long as you're absolutely sure about yourself then you can't go wrong with telling your closest friends. If they don't accept you then they can go be friends with some delinquents. :)

[ExhibitG]

As long as you're absolutely sure about yourself then you can't go wrong with telling your closest friends. If they don't accept you then they can go be friends with some delinquents. :)

haha thanks. idk why i'm so scared. i just feel like this a huge step, and even though i really want to take it, i'm just nervous to.