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View Full Version : Help getting out of what my friends say is an abusive relationship?


spw184
June 5th, 2012, 04:52 PM
I've had a crush on this guy for a year now, and I became his friend, and I eventually got over him. About 7 months ago he came out to me as bisexual. I came out to him as gay, and he said that he found me attractive and we started talking. He said that the most we would ever be is FWB, and I was able to accept this. I think when things really turned south is when my other friend told me that he told her he liked me, as in, more than just my body. I confronted him on it and he said that he doesn't date people, because he had his heart broken too many times. So, I figured I would give him a couple months.

So, we started having sex after a while, and again, I kept my feelings to myself. A while ago, (A month or two I think?) I brought it up again. I told him everything, about how I feel for him. I wanted to know wheather or not he had feelings for me or not. He said he did, and not just physical, but still won't date, or even open-relationship. A couple of weeks ago I was thinking about how unemotional he is to me. He never talks to me unless he wants sex, and sex is completely unemotional. Example? I've never been kissed, but im not a virgin. He never hugs me, or touches me at all. He insists that he finds me attractive but I can't help feeling that im not because he's always sending mixed messages. All my friends are telling me that he's being emotionally abusive to me, and I have to agree that i am sad a lot because of him.

The problem is that, not only do I really like him, but he is the first guy to ever call me attractive, and say that im not ugly. Nobody else has ever wanted me besides him, and im afraid that if I leave that nobody else is going to want me. Everyone tells me that I'll find somebody else but im worried that I won't. This is the closest thing I have ever had to a relationship.

There are tons of little things I could go into, but im pretty sure I got the big things.

And actually, I think my title is misleading. I don't want to get out, I want to make it work. Is there anyway I can get him to return my feelings?

spw184
June 5th, 2012, 09:48 PM
Wow. Thanks for all the help guys. Fantastic.

:/

wattado
June 5th, 2012, 09:57 PM
That sounds really tough. I don't know how to help exactly but if you want a relationship with him emotionally and he isnt willing then you need to find someone else. I would do that. Im not telling you to find someone else but it doesnt sound healthy if he makes you sad over it.

spiderdude
June 5th, 2012, 09:59 PM
Get the fuck out of that relationship he is not worth your time

Guillermo
June 6th, 2012, 12:25 AM
Yeah, sorry to say, but it's just not worth your time. He's not willing to make it work because he doesn't want a relationship. I know that you still have feelings for him, however you just have to move on. You've done all you can. There's some quote that goes something like "If you let something go and it comes back to you, then you can keep it." Even though I don't really like quotes about relationships and love, I think it really applies to this situation.

unnamed94
June 10th, 2012, 11:02 PM
i think that you should stop seeing him. you both want different things so why would you stick with him?