Its taking over our relationship!!

[ackmedsgirl666]

ive run out of options.. im fedup..
my boyfriend knows that hate that he drinks and smokes weed yet he continues to do thiese things and it really bothers me. i want to have a future with him and have kidsbut i dont want to raise kids with someone like this.im so inlove with him and what not and i wanna be with him but hes never gonna change.
im not sure what to do.. what my options are
ive tried everything but its not ending
what should i do
his alcohol abuse and drug abuse is killng our relationship and hes blaming everything on me and he says that thees alot of shit that he doesnt like about me yet he doesnt bothr about them.. well this is a totaly dofferent matter
im sick and tired and idk what to do...
any ideas?

[SLABBS]

well, to start, hes a younge man. its not uncommon for people around your age to be involved with drinking and smoking weed. and like most people hell probably grow out of it. also, smoking weed and drinking doesnt make for a bad parrent. both my parents were alcoholics at one point in my life and my mom is still borderline. on top of that my dad smokes pot when im not around. but their still the best parents ever in my eyes. once your boyfriend realizes that he wants a future with you he will slow down. but in the mean time hes going to drink and smoke pot and theres nothing you can do about it but wait it out and make sure he knows what you think about it. so just talk to him and let him know how you feel. (trust me, i had a girlfriend who didnt aprove of my smoking and drinking and it all worked out in the end and turned into a longtime relationship)

[ackmedsgirl666]

Well me and him talked
and we just found out im pregnant so he says hes gonna stop
things are gonna be even harder now because im moving to toronto with my mom for a while. :) well its good but kind of bad as well as were gonna have more stress in our relationship so idk what to do
should i put him in aa?

[SLABBS]

Wow! Congratz on the pregnantcy. :)

i would suggest finding a way to move in with him.

and im not sure if AA is really the best way to go for everyone, AA would best be left to his own choice. i wouldnt try to force him into AA, but suggesting it to him wouldnt be a bad idea if you thinks its whats best for him. but as long as his drinking or getting high is under controll and kept to a minimum and isnt affecting you or the child negativley it shouldnt be to much of an issue.

but just remember, this is an exciting and extremley important time in your life for both you and your boyfriend. you both need to plan your lifes out for the next couple months and think about where youre going to live, be it with your mom or together at your own apartment/house.

and once again, GRATZ on the pregnancy. good luck :)

[ackmedsgirl666]

thankyou a milion times
ive had scares but this one is real :)
were gonna move in eventually

[Dimitri]

removed by myself

[Clawhammer]

Lass, I'll only say this much. You're both young, and now you're pregnant, and do you honestly think that things are suddenly going to change for the better because you're going to have a baby? Believe me, children take a large toll on both people. I cannot presume to be absolutely right as I don't fully know your situation firsthand, but be very careful or you're going to get yourself hurt, and badly.
Whatever comes, remember that once you're pregnant, it's not about you and him anymore, it's about the child. And it's going to require a lot of sacrifice. Be wary as to whether he's ready for it.