The Gates Of Hell

[I-Need-Help]

this is a poem i wrote about a year ago...

Like a demon dragging me down, deeper into the depths of hell
You awaken the evil spirits that wreak havoc on my soul.
My head explodes with the excruciating pain that fills my mind.
I cannot see clearly, the burden is hauling me down.
I am hurtling towards the fiery chasm that burns my very essence.
The scorching pit swallows every fibre of my being.
The silky flames lick at my ankles.
I can no longer feel the pain,
Only Freedom.



what do you think?

[Serenity]

Wooooah I like it! The last line totally took me by surprise- in a good way. Well done :daisy:

[LateForTheSky]

Very Deep i like it

[Rawrbaby]

its dark and deep and wonderful i love it ya should publish it, it would be the talk of the town, it is really good

[what the?]

I like it, although it made me sad lol

[Melchi0r]

An interesting build-up into the last line. I liked it.

[I-Need-Help]

thanks guys, i appriciate your feedback. i only just figured out what it meant about a week ago! i never really knew. cos it just kinda came to me. weird huh? well thanks again. glad you liked it.

[Crazysam]

man! that really blew me away. That is seriously a verry good poem, Have you ever had any of your work published?

[I-Need-Help]

thanks crazysam! no i havent had any of my work published. that poem was kind of a one off...

[Radfreak]

nice poem. not much else I can think to say.

[Whisper]

It's beautiful

[Sugaree]

After that poem I guess maybe hell would be like that