Gay but Still Straight?

[Montesquieu15]

I hope I'm not going over the line here, but I'm going to ask anyways. This question is purely out of curiosity. No offense to anyone out there. Is anyone else gay who finds things commonly associated with homosexuality (for lack of a better term) repelling? For example, I'm gay and I still would rather dress like a guy and play basketball. I find open gays who dress like girls a bit weird. I find rainbows weird. What I mean is, gay but acts straight because he finds the gay "image" repelling.

No offense intended. Just pure curiosity.

[boonsim]

Umm, there is a big difference between "homosexual tendencies" and "transgendered tendencies". Gays guys don't always dress like women, unless they identify as female or are transvestites.

Oh, and the person you are referring to is the Bear archetype in a nutshell.

[Montesquieu15]

But I mean at school, there are people who are gay, but still act straight (maybe because they are closeted or maybe because they prefer to stay that way) and there are open gays who dress gay (in a non-derogatory way). I don't think they have transgender tendencies, unless they are the very definition of transgender tendencies. (Do homosexual tendencies usually accompany transgender tendencies?)

And what about those gay activists you see in parades. They don't dress like men, and it don't look like they aim to dress like women either. They seem to dress in their own category.

And could you elaborate on the "Bear" archetype? I'm not familiar with what that means.

The way I see it, there are three categories: gays who act straight, gays who act gay (as demonstrated in gay parades. not every gay acts like that. i find them really obnoxious), and transgenders (which is something else). Enlighten me.

[Lovemeorleaveme]

You are reffering to stereotype gays. and that stereotype is untrue and offensve to all the gays that arnt like that.
let me ask you somthing,
are all blonds actually dumb?
or all bi-sexuals sluts? Absolutely not so why whould all gays be feminine, you yourself show how untrue that stereotype is.

[Montesquieu15]

Thats very true. Idk. Homosexuality isn't something ive in depth examined before so I was wondering if there were anyone else like me.

[PerpetualMotionSquad]

I seriously think gay people who dress like women and act like women are just attention seeking from girls. I think that we should all just act like what we were born as.

[Ryhanna]

Being gay doesn't define your personality. You don't have to fit the stereotypical view of gays because you're gay. You just be yourself.

I don't have an unusually high voice or walk around with a pink boa and glitter shooting from my fingertips.

[Montesquieu15]

I seriously think gay people who dress like women and act like women are just attention seeking from girls. I think that we should all just act like what we were born as.

I know right. I mean I don't find them attention-seeking, but I see them as flamboyant and loud

[Montesquieu15]

Being gay doesn't define your personality. You don't have to fit the stereotypical view of gays because you're gay. You just be yourself.

I don't have an unusually high voice or walk around with a pink boa and glitter shooting from my fingertips.
I think this is what I was really looking for when I asked this question.

[Ryhanna]

I think this is what I was really looking for when I asked this question.

Well, now you have an answer. It's about personal identity, not comformity to a stereotype.

[Mysterious Skin]

Gay people who have "loud" personalities Do that because that's who they are. The same as a straight guy showing straight attributes. Just cause you like fashion does not make you gay, just the same as liking football does not make you straight.

[Tristin.]

As a gay guy, i am 'loud', I wear pink i have a high pitched laugh, i like girly things. But, i also fence, drive quad bikes, play call of duty and find blood fascinating. I am not like this because i am gay, i am like this because it is who i am.

You don't have to dress in pink if you are gay, there is no law. I have a gay friend who is the most straight looking guy i know. Don't get stuck into stereotypes, they are offensive and usually make you look like an idiot.

[liljack13]

I'm kinda like that

[Lights]

You are reffering to stereotype gays. and that stereotype is untrue and offensve to all the gays that arnt like that.
let me ask you somthing,
are all blonds actually dumb?
or all bi-sexuals sluts? Absolutely not so why whould all gays be feminine, you yourself show how untrue that stereotype is.

Being gay doesn't define your personality. You don't have to fit the stereotypical view of gays because you're gay. You just be yourself.

I don't have an unusually high voice or walk around with a pink boa and glitter shooting from my fingertips.

Well, now you have an answer. It's about personal identity, not comformity to a stereotype.

As a gay guy, i am 'loud', I wear pink i have a high pitched laugh, i like girly things. But, i also fence, drive quad bikes, play call of duty and find blood fascinating. I am not like this because i am gay, i am like this because it is who i am.

You don't have to dress in pink if you are gay, there is no law. I have a gay friend who is the most straight looking guy i know. Don't get stuck into stereotypes, they are offensive and usually make you look like an idiot.

Gay people who have "loud" personalities Do that because that's who they are. The same as a straight guy showing straight attributes. Just cause you like fashion does not make you gay, just the same as liking football does not make you straight.

These five posts are absolutely right. As HolyHooker said, sexuality is about personal identity and has nothing to do with conforming to stereotypes which many people don't relate to whatsoever.

'Gay' is neither an adjective, nor is it a verb. You cannot use 'gay' to describe something, nor can you say an action is 'gay'. I bring this up to show how undeniably flawed stereotypes are, and to show it doesn't matter what kind of person you are, you can still be gay.
To put it plain and simple, if you're gay, you like people of the same gender. That's all you're definitely ever going to share in common with other gay people. Every other thing you have in common with another gay person is by chance. If you both like going shopping all the time, that's by chance; if you both like playing COD together, that's also by chance.

I wish society didn't depend on stereotypes so much because they are so misleading. Sexuality just isn't understood like it should be. I wish people, in general, just understood that being gay only means you like people of the same gender. Nothing else comes as baggage with one's sexuality; whatever other characteristics they have are by chance and are just who they naturally are.

[RoseyCadaver]

I seriously think gay people who dress like women and act like women are just attention seeking from girls. I think that we should all just act like what we were born as.

This right is a very close minded view of things. Act like we were born? Why don't you go tell all the transgendered men and women out there that.

Does that mean since I was born with a penis I should procreate strictly with females and be the provider of the house? I should be a laborious man who doesn't have feelings and dresses the way a "man" dresses?

To OP: I can understand where you are coming from. You are a cisgendered gay male. Like someone said before, sexuality doesn't define you. Just like a sterotype shouldn't define you. Not all gay men dress in dresses, and not all straight men act like guys.

How ever you need to be careful when you're talking about the cross dressing. Some people are transgendered women in the closet as gay men, which could be why they do dress in "female" apparel.

But personally it doesn't bother me. I love looking androgynous, wearing make up and heels,and other days looking more manly. Then again I'm gender neutral and I'm very happy with that.

[Montesquieu15]

Don't get stuck into stereotypes, they are offensive and usually make you look like an idiot.
Lol.
These five posts are absolutely right. As HolyHooker said, sexuality is about personal identity and has nothing to do with conforming to stereotypes which many people don't relate to whatsoever.

'Gay' is neither an adjective, nor is it a verb. You cannot use 'gay' to describe something, nor can you say an action is 'gay'. I bring this up to show how undeniably flawed stereotypes are, and to show it doesn't matter what kind of person you are, you can still be gay.
To put it plain and simple, if you're gay, you like people of the same gender. That's all you're definitely ever going to share in common with other gay people. Every other thing you have in common with another gay person is by chance. If you both like going shopping all the time, that's by chance; if you both like playing COD together, that's also by chance.

I wish society didn't depend on stereotypes so much because they are so misleading. Sexuality just isn't understood like it should be. I wish people, in general, just understood that being gay only means you like people of the same gender. Nothing else comes as baggage with one's sexuality; whatever other characteristics they have are by chance and are just who they naturally are. Thanks. That helps a lot. Its not something about myself I could change, but I had an unconscious feeling I had to surrender some part of me in order to meet the gay image which I realize I don't.

[Lights]

Thanks. That helps a lot. Its not something about myself I could change, but I had an unconscious feeling I had to surrender some part of me in order to meet the gay image which I realize I don't.

You have learned well, my friend. :)
Just enjoy being exactly who you are.

[Biscuithead13]

Well I'm gay, but i'll be honest I have the weirdest mix of attributes you'd every find in a gay guy: I love sports, I play basketball for fun, I play FSP Games, I even watch drag racing sometimes and I'm going to one this summer, YET I do kinda talk gay, I like shopping, most of my friends are girls, I would consider myself very fashion concious....Can't get any more confusing than that, but the the reason I'm gay is because I like guys and have no desire to be with a girl. It has nothing to do with my intrests OR how I act.

[Virtua Guy]

I am gay -straight i dont do girly things.. i also like to dress like guys and play basketball so i guess its completely ok

[StoneColdNicky]

I get what you're saying exactly. I'm going to be 18 soon, and able to go to night clubs and stuff, and someone asked if I would go to a gay club because I never really had any chance to meet guys I might have a relationship with, but I find them all so unappealing - mostly because I'm into heavy metal and punk and they are all really disco music and drag queens!