Please help. Advice needed.

[Montesquieu15]

Well, I came out to my best friend (or who I thought was my best friend) through a letter. After texting back and forth, with him asking me all kinds of questions, he seemed pretty cool with it. But I always feel awkward around him. Like I don't match up. Like I am less than what I am. No, being gay wasn't my fault, so why should I feel this way? but I always feel the need to outdo him, like in sports or simple games.

I noticed he stopped taking a liking to me as much: we didn't do our handshakes anymore and all. After some months, he insensitively started acting gay around me (he's straight, just being a bit immature, he probably didn't mean it). I got mad and texted him that it bothered me. Well we stopped talking, but I guess everything is cool now because three of us are sleeping over.

I hate it. It's hard because you're sensitive to every little thing. You always have to analyze every little thing and come to a conclusion from it. (I'm an introvert.) Sometimes I hate the kid for the way he's made me feel, and at other times I can't help but feel relieved when he talks to me. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate myself sometimes, because I've been so confused. :confused::confused::confused: I'm 16 by the way (he's a year younger than me). Advice please??

[Nellerin]

Being gay isn't anything bad. You may have gotten nervous about having told him and then began to act different around him, so then he responded by acting different to you.

The gay jokes and stuff is just normal guy things and wouldn't be anything personal directed at you so do not worry about that. Plus, it does not seem as though he is a bad friend, so just act normal and I am sure he will do the same.

[Montesquieu15]

I think your right. Thanks.

[Ryhanna]

The gay jokes and stuff is just normal guy things and wouldn't be anything personal directed at you so do not worry about that.
That's very true. Boys make those kinds of jokes around each other, a lot of the time they mean no offense to gay people, they're just boys mucking around.

I think the cause of this problem might actually be you feeling insecure about being gay, to be honest. Which is understandable, especially around your straight friends. Try not to take things they say to heart. :)

[Montesquieu15]

That's very true. Boys make those kinds of jokes around each other, a lot of the time they mean no offense to gay people, they're just boys mucking around.

I think the cause of this problem might actually be you feeling insecure about being gay, to be honest. Which is understandable, especially around your straight friends. Try not to take things they say to heart. :)

no, I understand what you mean. I kinda realized that today. Still kinda wish I wasn't sometimes. Makes me feel kinda off from them. What about you?