Emotions and Attraction

[Booman5]

Well I'm very confused and I'm looking for someone who can share some wisdom with me and help me along, heres my situation:

I'm gay, meaning my sexual urges are for other men, I haven't come out to anyone yet and I have no plans to do so for a little while at least. But even though I'm gay, sexually, I'm in love with a girl, emotionally. I just don't know what to do with all this because I would like for her to be my girlfriend even though I'm not sexually attracted to her. Shes become my best friend over the past 2 years and now I think I love her. I'm very sure I'm gay as I have had gay tendencies for years (even before puberty) and I find several guys in my grade really hot. But I don't know what to do. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has any ideas please help.

Thank you.

[MoveAlong]

Well you could be bi. Since you're still in puberty, you could find out more about yourself and you could turn out bi, even though you think you're completley gay right now.

Plus, it might just be a teen crush. Usually, when teens think they're in love and especially if they aren't in a relationship with a person, it's just a crush.
I know it's happened before, I've read things like this!

Maybe you should try this out, or talk to her about it. At least you'll be able to get your feelings out and talk about them to someone rather than having all those ideas in your head bounce off the inside of your skull :P

That's what I think anyway :)

[what the?]

This is so strange because I was in just about exactly the same situation. I was very much in love with my best friend Catherine, even though I'd been gay for quite some time by then. I wasn't sexually attracted to her, the thought of having sex with any girl, let alone with my best friend, was really unpleasant. I spoke to her about it, and she was really understanding, if a little confused lol. My advice would be the same as Zach's, talk to to someone about it, maybe another close friend.


If you think about it, it's pretty logical, in a weird way, for a gay guy to fall in love with his best girlfriend, because gay guys and girls often tend to think in the same, feel the same and act the same, so aren't they the perfect couple? lol

Can I ask, how old you are? 'Cause I think it would be interesting to see whether this happened at about the same time.

Ashley x

[Booman5]

I turn 16 in October, and thank you both for your help, I'm going to think a little more then I might tell someone about it. I just don't know what to make of all these feelings. Thank you both very much.

[LateForTheSky]

had the exact same problem, mines faded over time. Ashers and Zach are right but keep in mind that ashers advice about how gay guys are usualy closer to women is only said through statistics, personaly I am closer to men and I'm gay. And I don't think your bi, u have just fallen in love with her personality and not her body. That is a great quality it shows how u can love someone no matter who they are. Whats happening is natural just see what happens and dont get stressed.

[Melchi0r]

Love is just love, no matter what gender you are in love with. It's a beautiful thing. So don't worry.

[xTheLordsServantx]

As I'm sure somebody has already said...this is something that you have to find out for yourself. When challenges similar to this appear in my life, I typically think of it as a test of the inner-self given to me by God. Whether you believe in God or not, this is still a test and a discovery that ONLY YOU can go through.

God Bless you

and I know you will make the right decision...just follow what your heart and soul tell you