Hi

[Electra Heart]

Hi, I'm Tim. Maybe some of you know me, a lot of you probably don't. I was never an avid cutter. Occasionally, when the world was too hard, I'd let out the pain, and disgust in blood. Tonight though... I just, I just let it go. I didn't even feel anything until I noticed my arm was soaking red. It almost felt good. Now I just... I think I have a problem now. I think I'm going to start just doing it day in, day out. I can't let that happen. I cannot. I want to tell someone. Tonight. I can't tell my mother. 1 of 2 things would happen. 1) She's get a heart attack, and die in front of me, I'd be blamed. Or 2) She'd lock me up in a hospital, and none of you would ever see me again. So, I plan to tell her boyfriend. We are generally close, and I think he can help me get the help I need. I'm just scared he'll react in the same fashion... Does anyone have any advice? Just... something I can say to make him understand? I'm not crazy. I just... I just have a lot I need to get out somehow, and I know this is not the way to do it. Thank you.

[Fractured Silhouette]

Well, first off, I'd like to say a well done for getting help. That takes a-lot of courage.

Right, I think a good way to help people understand why you cut is to find and show them an article on cutting to help them understand. Either by printing it out or showing them on the computer. Here's one: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

The only other piece of advice I have is don't be discouraged if he doesn't react the way you expected at first.

They explain the act of self-harm pretty well I think. Other than that I wish you good luck in your endeavours. Hope I helped. :)

[Incompris]

That takes courage, Its good that you are trying to get help before it gets to bad. If you ever need to talk I have no life so I am always on. best of luck to you.

[Mortal Coil]

First of all, congratulations on trying to get help.
What I would say is, ask if he's ever dug his fingernails into his palms when he was angry, because it's a similar thing. You're creating some physical pain to deal with the emotions you're feeling. That would help him understand (hopefully)
Good luck!

[Smeagol]

Good luck getting help. I realise how tough this is... :hug: Stay strong!

[Love.Hate]

I think you have made an important descision to get help now and to not get trapped in this. I am here if you need to talk :) you are strong and can get through this Tim. Dont feel like you are ever alone. When talking to your mums boyfriend handle it calmly, it might come as a shock to him, so allow him time to think, its a very confusing concept for them if you think about it, they dont understand why anyone would do this, so just talk maturely and calmly and i hope it goes okay, be honest with him <3

[redknight]

Good luck getting help, some of us are fear too

[Breakeven]

tim tim if u ever need someone im here for u hun <3

[Electra Heart]

Just an update. My mom found out, flipped out a bit. She just doesn't seem to think I'm OK anymore, but... I really am alright since recently. She thinks I have some deep issues with cutting. It's honestly just a stress relief. I'm not trying to see myself...

[Jupiter]

I actually think that she reacted as expected. I must admit I am sorry that she flipped out, but I cannot say I'm surprised. Maybe you do have a problem, and you don't know it. At any rate, try to give her some ttime to get around, otherwise you'll probably shut her out of everything just like my mother and I have turned out. Best of luck, Tim, and it's nice to see you asking for help.

[Black.Veil.Brides]

no, yhu aren't crazy... i cut myself, burn myself, and even at times staple myself.... yhu definately do NOT wanna get that far into this shit... just tell him whats going on... tell him yhu need/want his help.. and that it should be just between yhu and him... he will understand, and please save yhurself while yhu have the chance [: let me know if evrything works out.

[Ambrosia]

She has the right to react flippidy, she just found out her baby hurts himself. It's understandable.

If you need anyone to talk to, I'm in line with everyone else. Great job stopping it before it gets too bad!!

[Dimitri]

I must commend you on telling her and yes, I agree with the above, she just found out her son hurts himself. She may even think of herself as a failure, my parents thought this because they did not realize I was doing it.

If you ever need to talk to anyone please, talk to me...I am always here for you, we all are.

[Black.Veil.Brides]

how did things work out, Tim?

[Electra Heart]

Thing's are alright... I can tell she's become MUCH more protective of me, ask for hugs all the time, and what-not. She's talking to my old therapist more seriously, and I don't object to start going to him again. I'm just trying to balance keeping her, and myself sane at the moment.

[Dimitri]

Thing's are alright... I can tell she's become MUCH more protective of me, ask for hugs all the time, and what-not. She's talking to my old therapist more seriously, and I don't object to start going to him again. I'm just trying to balance keeping her, and myself sane at the moment.

Good good and WHA....

Honestly, Tim, I know many kids your age (please realize I am trying to be compassionate but this may come off as me being condescending in a way but) are trying so hard to grow up and let me tell you it isn't all that it is cracked up to be.

Your mother needs you to be you, she needs you to be yourself and so do you. be who you are, don't try to keep sane for her sake, she is an adult and if she messes up a decision then so be it, that is her job, not yours.

I know this sounded really rude but I also have been through what you went through and attempted to kill myself int he process. You are 14 going on 24 and you need to relax, enjoy being taken care of and enjoy being a child, while it still last.

If you need or wan tot talk please realize that I am always here for yah bud, anytime.

[Maverick]

Thing's are alright... I can tell she's become MUCH more protective of me, ask for hugs all the time, and what-not. She's talking to my old therapist more seriously, and I don't object to start going to him again. I'm just trying to balance keeping her, and myself sane at the moment.
Hey, Tim. Why do you feel the need to keep her sane? Does your mother have some problems of her own?

It takes a lot of guts to put your problems out in the open like that. I think that is a great step and the right thing to do. You say cutting is a stress reliever so really to alleviate and fix that, you first must figure out what is causing you stress in the first place. Are they your personal problems, family problems, or both? Once you figure out what's stressing you out then you try to fix the problems so you can become less stressed. Finally, you also need to come up with techniques to cope with stress in a healthy way besides cutting.

Talk over these ideas with your therapist to get a game plan going that works for you best. Even if you can't eliminate all of the issues that cause you stress... either way stress is a part of life but we don't have to become victims of it as long as its coped with appropriately.

[Electra Heart]

Good good and WHA....

Honestly, Tim, I know many kids your age (please realize I am trying to be compassionate but this may come off as me being condescending in a way but) are trying so hard to grow up and let me tell you it isn't all that it is cracked up to be.

Your mother needs you to be you, she needs you to be yourself and so do you. be who you are, don't try to keep sane for her sake, she is an adult and if she messes up a decision then so be it, that is her job, not yours.

I know this sounded really rude but I also have been through what you went through and attempted to kill myself int he process. You are 14 going on 24 and you need to relax, enjoy being taken care of and enjoy being a child, while it still last.

If you need or wan tot talk please realize that I am always here for yah bud, anytime.

I know I know, I'm just stressed as fuck, I'm ALWAYS paranoid I'm not making the right decision, my entire school year is plagued with this. I only mean that if I can't keep myself sane, I don't know if she could take it, she doesn't handle stress very well, and this whole thing is just dumping a shit-ton on top of her.

Hey, Tim. Why do you feel the need to keep her sane? Does your mother have some problems of her own?

It takes a lot of guts to put your problems out in the open like that. I think that is a great step and the right thing to do. You say cutting is a stress reliever so really to alleviate and fix that, you first must figure out what is causing you stress in the first place. Are they your personal problems, family problems, or both? Once you figure out what's stressing you out then you try to fix the problems so you can become less stressed. Finally, you also need to come up with techniques to cope with stress in a healthy way besides cutting.

Talk over these ideas with your therapist to get a game plan going that works for you best. Even if you can't eliminate all of the issues that cause you stress... either way stress is a part of life but we don't have to become victims of it as long as its coped with appropriately.

I intend to do that when the time comes... My families issues, mainly centered around my father, have long since been oppressed, I don't express emotion to them anymore. As far as personal stress, of course, school, relationships, friends, sleep, inactivity, etc. Around this time of year, just as it has this one, my hair gets minute steaks of grey, even falls out sometimes. It's just, this year it's particularly overwhelming, that is why I cut.