Jupiter
May 27th, 2012, 07:17 PM
First of all.
Today, I had to wake up and go to church. Which I clearly didn't want to do. Then I went to my dad's birthday party. And this is where it starts.
So dad started his treatments, right? And after his chemo, he got REALLY sick. So the chemo makes him sick, right? Well radiation isn't good for him either, because his heart is too close to his esophagus. So when his esophagus gets zapped, so does his heart. I'd be okay with this, but he doesn't even care. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY WHO IS SCARED TO DEATH!!!!!!!! It's clear that he doesn't even care about himself because it would help if he would stop drinking and stay out of the sunlight. He won't! His birthday party today was HickTown USA and it got to be 98 degrees. He never went inside once. He doesn't even care that he is slowly killing himself, and depleting what his treatments are supposed to be fixing. So I get the hell out of there.
Then I get to another party. My sister and her cousins and their friend want to go to the park. I thought they were going to this will where I like to sit on. Well, eventually I was rushed out of dinner to go to the park, which I was ok with cuz I thought it was the hill. Well pretty soon, we pass the hill, and we get to the park, and my sister starts being a bitch. So we had a fight IN PUBLIC, and so I leave, go through the trails and find a park bench and considered running away, and so many other things. I was SOOO pissed because then my mom started yelling at me. So I finally get back here and now I'm just here. This computer can't even get in the chat, so FUCK. Here I am at my grandma's. I just want to go home. I just want to fall asleep for years upon years. I just want to get the fuck out of here.
It's not even that I want to die anymore. It's just that I have no desire to live.
Today, I had to wake up and go to church. Which I clearly didn't want to do. Then I went to my dad's birthday party. And this is where it starts.
So dad started his treatments, right? And after his chemo, he got REALLY sick. So the chemo makes him sick, right? Well radiation isn't good for him either, because his heart is too close to his esophagus. So when his esophagus gets zapped, so does his heart. I'd be okay with this, but he doesn't even care. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY WHO IS SCARED TO DEATH!!!!!!!! It's clear that he doesn't even care about himself because it would help if he would stop drinking and stay out of the sunlight. He won't! His birthday party today was HickTown USA and it got to be 98 degrees. He never went inside once. He doesn't even care that he is slowly killing himself, and depleting what his treatments are supposed to be fixing. So I get the hell out of there.
Then I get to another party. My sister and her cousins and their friend want to go to the park. I thought they were going to this will where I like to sit on. Well, eventually I was rushed out of dinner to go to the park, which I was ok with cuz I thought it was the hill. Well pretty soon, we pass the hill, and we get to the park, and my sister starts being a bitch. So we had a fight IN PUBLIC, and so I leave, go through the trails and find a park bench and considered running away, and so many other things. I was SOOO pissed because then my mom started yelling at me. So I finally get back here and now I'm just here. This computer can't even get in the chat, so FUCK. Here I am at my grandma's. I just want to go home. I just want to fall asleep for years upon years. I just want to get the fuck out of here.
It's not even that I want to die anymore. It's just that I have no desire to live.