Cut again...

[Jmod]

I "Quit" cutting about 4 days ago, and I swore on my life that was the last time I'd do it.

I just did it again 5 minutes ago.

"Just testing" I talked myself into getting a razor and well...yeah


I made a deal with a friend that I'd help quit with her...I don't want to lie to her, I cant help but think that she'll start cutting again if I say something...

I promised some of my closest friends that I quit..

I'm tired of lying to myself, and friends...But for some reason I love doing it..

Basically, my question is...what do I do now?

Should I tell anyone?

[Desuetude]

It's okay to relapse, it's part of the process of quitting. No one can expect you to stop cold turkey because it will be a lot harder, shrugging it off slowly is the best way to go. You can do this, pick yourself back up. Just because you had one small setback that doesn't mean you have to let it pull you right back. Think to yourself and remember all the reaons why you want to stop, it's an addiction so it will be hard, you might keep getting urges but use distractions to keep them at bay. Listen to music, write everything you're feeling down, excersize - run, talk to someone just gettinig your feelings out can help and knowing someone is listening is a nice feeling. Tell your friend, she wants to help and support you, just say that it was a minor setback and that you're back on track now because you can stop. It might take a while so be patient but you have the ability to leave it behind, you don't need it and it doesn't rule over you.

[Mortal Coil]

Yeah, like Nikki said, you relapsed. You didn't restart. It's part of the process of quitting. Admitting it to your friend may be a good thing, because keeping it to yourself is only going to make you feel guilty, and it's a vicious circle.

[Jmod]

That's the thing...I've quit more times then I would like to count, and I don't want to admit it..

But its getting worse each time, its at the point where I like the pain, and I like the scars

I just don't want to hurt my friends because of it, and I cant lie about it and say I've stopped, I'm just...too honest, in lack of better words..

[Kenton225]

Hey,
I have managed to last 4 weeks without cutting myself, and what kept me going is that my mate was literally like 'if you last 2 days ill buy you a pint' for example, depending on your age would depend on what.
If i last another week he said that he will pay for my next night out and its keeping me going.
You should get someone you know and trust to do this, because without it i would barley of lasted a day.
I know what its like with the lying, i used to tell people i had stopped and stuff and each time they found out they screwed, i lost close frineds because of it, which made me want to do it cut myself again, but the thought of losing all my friends because i was lying also helped me stop.
The first few days are hard, its strange i kind of missed the sensation, but after about the first week, you kind of become proud of your little achievement and you dont want to ruin it.
Dunno if this has been useful, it just helped me a lot.

[Jmod]

Well...None of those things helped...So, whatever. I'm done trying to quit, If it helps make me happy, whats the point of stopping

[Desuetude]

We cannot make you stop unless you want to. Until you want help VT can support you the best we can and then afterwards when you decide you need to quit we will still be here.

Personally, for some people, I see a point in quitting. I know cutting makes you feel better, even just in the slightest it helps but when you get addicted, when it's all you can think about and you're going deeper and deeper until you get so bad that you might get admitted to hospital. That could happen. It could become such an addiction that it rules your life. You don't want that, right? You can lead a happy life without cutting, you don't need it to make you feel better although it may seem as though you do. Think about your friend, how will she feel if she knows you've given up? Talk to her and support her, let her support you. You can beat this but kicking it now rather than when you're further along down the line is easier.
However like I said at the beginning, no one can force you to quit. You need the right frame of mind and the need to stop. Relapse is okay, it's never easy to completely give up but after one relapse make the days of not cutting last longer. Go from a day to a few days, to a week, to a month. If you get far and the numbers suddenly fall again then pick yourself back up, it's never too late to quit. You can do this.