bluedevil6
May 26th, 2012, 04:51 PM
Random scene that I wrote. Comment with your thoughts, I don't mind constructive criticism, but please, no insults/hate/any of that.
To give you a short summary of the book and the characters, since you won't be being introduced. The book starts in the year of 2012. A new president's been elected. His name is James Braddock. James is ... well, basically an evil dictator. He's a lot like Hitler. In fact, he's based off of Hitler. He decides to rid the United States of every person that has something wrong with them. Something that would make them a liability. And this makes...everyone hate him. However, James himself has a deaf wife, Susan. And a son with cerebral palsy. He tries to keep them a secret, as he doesn't want to kill them. But. The people find out about his son, so he has him executed. In the end, James is paralyzed from the waist down and since, it's the law, he's sentenced to death. Another character that pops up in this chapter is Brandon, the head of security for the President. Anyway. Yeah. James' death.
Final Chapter
I sat in the wheelchair, MY wheelchair now, and stared out the window at the countless people, screaming for my death. They’d have it soon enough. In less than an hour, in fact.
Less than an hour. I had less than an hour to live and I didn’t feel anything at all. No fear. No anger. Not even a sense of peace or acceptance of my imminent death. Nothing.
“President Braddock?” Three, sharp knocks came at my door.
I turned the chair around to face the door. “Come in.” I called.
The door opened to reveal Brandon and Susan.
Susan. She had come to say goodbye. That surprised me, but I tried not to show it and instead just watched them and didn’t say a word.
Susan stepped inside the room and Brandon shut the door behind her. She walked over to my bed and sat down, not saying anything.
I turned to face her and signed, “Why did you come?”
“You’re my husband. I had to come.” She signed back.
“Do you know how I’m going to be executed?”
Susan didn’t reply.
I stared at the floor, willing for her to tell me. Paralyzed people were usually executed using the gas chambers. However, the people had voted on this one. And I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be a painless death.
“Gas chambers.” She finally said, quietly.
I looked up at her, surprised. The gas chambers weren’t painless, but they weren’t the worse sort of death either.
I began to ask why but then Brandon came back in. “Mrs. Braddock. We need to take the President to the chambers now. If you want to see him there again, you may. But you need to go now.”
So soon? I wondered. But I hadn’t even started to tell her I was sorry. That I loved her. It didn’t matter if she believed me or if she told me she hated me, I just wanted her to hear it.
Susan got up from the bed and left.
“Susan..” I called after her, but of course, she didn’t hear me.
_____________________________________________
The ride to the chambers was short. Shorter than I wanted. The only day that I wished for a huge traffic jam, an accident, or just something to delay it, and the roads were clear. Every stoplight we hit was green.
The car stopped in front of a cluster of huge gray buildings. I was wheeled outside and then into one marked “12.”
I was pushed down some hallways and then stopped in front of a huge metal door. Brandon got out some keys, opened the door and pushed me inside.
The door shut with a hollow clang behind me.
I stared at my surroundings. An empty, gray, concrete room. Then, I noticed the vents that lined the ceiling and realized that this was the chamber.
I was already in the chamber. This wasn’t right. It was too quick. It couldn’t be time already.
A surge of panic overwhelmed me and I furiously tried to make my legs move. I needed them to move before the siren sounded and the gas was released. They had to have a camera in the room. If they saw me move, then I wouldn’t be paralyzed and they couldn’t execute me!
But there was nothing. My legs stayed motionless. I couldn’t even move a toe.
Then, the door banged open.
“You have one minute!” a gruff voice barked.
I turned the chair around quickly and saw Susan standing there.
“Please don’t let them do this! It can‘t be now! It‘s too soon!” I signed at her, frantically.
She walked over to me and gently, but firmly, grabbed my hands, and stared down at me, not saying anything.
“Please..” I whined, knowing how pathetic I sounded and knowing how useless it was to beg.
“That is … exactly what our son said before he was killed.” she whispered.
I didn’t say anything. Now, I understood. The gas chambers wasn’t the most painful death, not physically at least. But, I knew why the people had chosen this for me. They wanted me to know exactly what I had done to my own son. His helplessness. His sheer terror when he realized that there was nothing he could do to get out of it. The pain at fully understanding what he’d gone through … what I’d put him through … was more painful than any death I could imagine.
The panic left my body and a strange sense of calm took over. I couldn’t waste the time I had left pleading for my life. I knew what I wanted to say. I had to say it.
“Susan.” I gently squeezed her hand to make sure she was looking at me to read my lips.
She watched me carefully and didn’t say anything.
“I … I’m sorry,” was all I managed to get out.
She let go of my hands and signed, “What you did can never be forgiven, James. Ever.”
“I know.” I said, quietly.
Brandon stepped into the room. “Time’s up. Come on, Mrs. Braddock.”
Susan began to walk away but I caught her hand. She paused and looked at me, questioningly.
“I love you.” I whispered, signing it while I said it, so I knew that she understood.
She didn’t say anything, just nodded slightly.
Then, she pulled her hand away and was gone.
I sat there for a few minutes, staring at the empty space where she’d been standing, feeling more alone than I’d ever felt before.
Something lit up in my peripheral vision and I turned the chair to see red numbers flashing on the wall.
10
...
9
...
8
...
I then realized that was how much time I had left. The siren would sound at 0 and the gases would be released.
...
7
...
6
...
5
...
4
...
3
...
2
...
1
...
I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes.
...
0.
The indenting didn't format right. Sorry.
To give you a short summary of the book and the characters, since you won't be being introduced. The book starts in the year of 2012. A new president's been elected. His name is James Braddock. James is ... well, basically an evil dictator. He's a lot like Hitler. In fact, he's based off of Hitler. He decides to rid the United States of every person that has something wrong with them. Something that would make them a liability. And this makes...everyone hate him. However, James himself has a deaf wife, Susan. And a son with cerebral palsy. He tries to keep them a secret, as he doesn't want to kill them. But. The people find out about his son, so he has him executed. In the end, James is paralyzed from the waist down and since, it's the law, he's sentenced to death. Another character that pops up in this chapter is Brandon, the head of security for the President. Anyway. Yeah. James' death.
Final Chapter
I sat in the wheelchair, MY wheelchair now, and stared out the window at the countless people, screaming for my death. They’d have it soon enough. In less than an hour, in fact.
Less than an hour. I had less than an hour to live and I didn’t feel anything at all. No fear. No anger. Not even a sense of peace or acceptance of my imminent death. Nothing.
“President Braddock?” Three, sharp knocks came at my door.
I turned the chair around to face the door. “Come in.” I called.
The door opened to reveal Brandon and Susan.
Susan. She had come to say goodbye. That surprised me, but I tried not to show it and instead just watched them and didn’t say a word.
Susan stepped inside the room and Brandon shut the door behind her. She walked over to my bed and sat down, not saying anything.
I turned to face her and signed, “Why did you come?”
“You’re my husband. I had to come.” She signed back.
“Do you know how I’m going to be executed?”
Susan didn’t reply.
I stared at the floor, willing for her to tell me. Paralyzed people were usually executed using the gas chambers. However, the people had voted on this one. And I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be a painless death.
“Gas chambers.” She finally said, quietly.
I looked up at her, surprised. The gas chambers weren’t painless, but they weren’t the worse sort of death either.
I began to ask why but then Brandon came back in. “Mrs. Braddock. We need to take the President to the chambers now. If you want to see him there again, you may. But you need to go now.”
So soon? I wondered. But I hadn’t even started to tell her I was sorry. That I loved her. It didn’t matter if she believed me or if she told me she hated me, I just wanted her to hear it.
Susan got up from the bed and left.
“Susan..” I called after her, but of course, she didn’t hear me.
_____________________________________________
The ride to the chambers was short. Shorter than I wanted. The only day that I wished for a huge traffic jam, an accident, or just something to delay it, and the roads were clear. Every stoplight we hit was green.
The car stopped in front of a cluster of huge gray buildings. I was wheeled outside and then into one marked “12.”
I was pushed down some hallways and then stopped in front of a huge metal door. Brandon got out some keys, opened the door and pushed me inside.
The door shut with a hollow clang behind me.
I stared at my surroundings. An empty, gray, concrete room. Then, I noticed the vents that lined the ceiling and realized that this was the chamber.
I was already in the chamber. This wasn’t right. It was too quick. It couldn’t be time already.
A surge of panic overwhelmed me and I furiously tried to make my legs move. I needed them to move before the siren sounded and the gas was released. They had to have a camera in the room. If they saw me move, then I wouldn’t be paralyzed and they couldn’t execute me!
But there was nothing. My legs stayed motionless. I couldn’t even move a toe.
Then, the door banged open.
“You have one minute!” a gruff voice barked.
I turned the chair around quickly and saw Susan standing there.
“Please don’t let them do this! It can‘t be now! It‘s too soon!” I signed at her, frantically.
She walked over to me and gently, but firmly, grabbed my hands, and stared down at me, not saying anything.
“Please..” I whined, knowing how pathetic I sounded and knowing how useless it was to beg.
“That is … exactly what our son said before he was killed.” she whispered.
I didn’t say anything. Now, I understood. The gas chambers wasn’t the most painful death, not physically at least. But, I knew why the people had chosen this for me. They wanted me to know exactly what I had done to my own son. His helplessness. His sheer terror when he realized that there was nothing he could do to get out of it. The pain at fully understanding what he’d gone through … what I’d put him through … was more painful than any death I could imagine.
The panic left my body and a strange sense of calm took over. I couldn’t waste the time I had left pleading for my life. I knew what I wanted to say. I had to say it.
“Susan.” I gently squeezed her hand to make sure she was looking at me to read my lips.
She watched me carefully and didn’t say anything.
“I … I’m sorry,” was all I managed to get out.
She let go of my hands and signed, “What you did can never be forgiven, James. Ever.”
“I know.” I said, quietly.
Brandon stepped into the room. “Time’s up. Come on, Mrs. Braddock.”
Susan began to walk away but I caught her hand. She paused and looked at me, questioningly.
“I love you.” I whispered, signing it while I said it, so I knew that she understood.
She didn’t say anything, just nodded slightly.
Then, she pulled her hand away and was gone.
I sat there for a few minutes, staring at the empty space where she’d been standing, feeling more alone than I’d ever felt before.
Something lit up in my peripheral vision and I turned the chair to see red numbers flashing on the wall.
10
...
9
...
8
...
I then realized that was how much time I had left. The siren would sound at 0 and the gases would be released.
...
7
...
6
...
5
...
4
...
3
...
2
...
1
...
I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes.
...
0.
The indenting didn't format right. Sorry.